Page 6 of The Backup Groom

It was like picking the lottery winners onThe Jerry Springer Show.

“Okay,” Burt said, picking the chair up off the floor. “Let’s continue.”

He started the video again.

“Let’s move on to Mercedes, shall we?” Uncle G said.

“Finally!” She slid the nail file into her purse and sat up. “Come on, show me the money!” She rubbed her hands together, her eyes glittering with dollar signs.

Uncle G shook his head in disgust. “Mercedes, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the laziest person I have ever met in my entire life. You’re even lazier than me, which is quite the accomplishment, considering I’m dead.”

Mercedes stared at the monitor, speechless, her face laced with fear.

“I think it was Theodore Roosevelt who said something like . . . the only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. Well, that’s you, the female version, Mercedes. But don’t you worry, I’m going to make this easy for you. Since you are so lazy, you don’t have to do a single thing to get your inheritance.”

Mercedes lit up and pointed to the monitor. “Now, you’re speaking my language!”

Uncle G grinned. “Here’s where things get really fun—this is how it’s going to play out. Mercedes, you will get Amber’s five million dollars if she doesn’t marry Ryan Scott.”

“What?” I said in unison with Mercedes.

I’m not sure what I hated more, being forced into a marriage for money, or the thought of Mercedes getting the money instead of me.

Uncle G held up an index finger. “Otherwise, you get my 1999 Ford Taurus, which I’m fairly certain Kathleen has already turned down.”

“This is a bunch of bull.” Mercedes jumped to her feet. “Stop the video!”

Burt paused the video and blew out a frustrated breath. “Now what?”

“Amber, listen to me,” Mercedes said, desperation in her voice. “You obviously are not going to marry Ryan Scott and I have absolutely no interest in a 1999 Ford Taurus.”

That car was like the white elephant gift that nobody wanted at a Christmas gift exchange.

“Let’s make a deal right here and right now,” Mercedes said. “Forget about marrying Ryan, so I get the five million. I’ll split the money with you right down the middle. Two-point-five million for you. Two-point-five million for me. It’s clean, fast, and a win-win for both of us. Do we have a deal?”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Uncle G was gone and the only thing that was on her mind was how to weasel her way into his money. Did Mercedes even care that he was no longer alive? And did she really think I was dumb enough to make a deal with her? I knew she was family, but I didn’t trust her.

Kathleen shook her head subtly, letting me know her feelings on the subject.

I sighed. “Out of respect for Uncle G and his wishes, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“These aren’t wishes!” Mercedes said. “We’re pawns in this little game of his. He’s playing with you, Amber, can’t you see that? And you’re an idiot if you fall for it and marry Ryan. In fact, I forbid you to do it!”

There should be a law that says stupid or mean people are not allowed to have money. I know the law of karma will eventually get them, but that can take a while, and frankly, I’m impatient.

“You forbid me?” I took a power stance, tired of her crap. “Whether or not I marry Ryan is up to me. You do not have a say in the matter.”

Mercedes cackled and threw her head back in wicked jubilation. “That’s whatyouthink! You’re going to be sorry you didn’t take the deal. Get ready to watch your life crumble.”

Burt Bicker came from around his desk. “You need to leave. Now.” He waved his hand in front of her nose. “And by the way, you have a bat in the cave.”

Mercedes blinked twice. “What are you talking about?”

He tapped his own nose to break it down for her in simpler terms. “Boogies.”

“Whatever!” She grabbed her purse and purposely knocked into my shoulder before walking out and slamming the door.