Page 31 of The Atonement (Arrangement #3)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
AINSLEY
“ A re you being good for your Aunt Glennon and Uncle Seth?” It was one of the only times I’d been away from all three of them for more than a night, and the distance was starting to bother me. I missed my children.
More than ever, I wanted to be with them. To be sure they were safe.
“Yes, Mom,” Maisy said with a playful groan.
“And how about your brothers? Are you guys having fun?”
“Yeah, we went to the Molly Brown House yesterday. It was really cool. Aunt Glennon said she’s going to take us to the botanical garden tomorrow too, if the weather clears up.”
“That sounds really nice, sweetheart.”
“When are you coming to get us, though? I miss you. Bailey and Janessa have been texting me like crazy. They’ve been together all fall break. ”
“I know. Hopefully I’ll be able to get there soon. I just want to be sure you’re all having fun.” I didn’t tell her they weren’t coming home. Not yet.
“Uncle Seth bought me the new Karen McManus book. I can’t wait to tell Dad about it.”
Her words were an ice pick to my chest. Would she ever get to tell her father anything again? “Oh, that was nice of him,” I squeaked out.
A knock on the door interrupted my conversation. I stood from the bed, checking the time. It was just after six, and I wasn’t expecting anyone.
“Yeah, Jennessa said it’s even better than the first, which is, like…impossible, and—”
“Honey, I’m so sorry. I have to go, okay? I’ll call you back.” I kept my voice low, ending the call and dropping the phone on the bed before making my way across the room. I pressed my face to the door, peering out. When I saw who was waiting for me, my chest tightened.
“Matt?” I swung open the door, looking down the hall to be sure we were alone. “What are you doing here?”
“Sorry. I would’ve called, but I didn’t have your number, and… I guess I could’ve tried to call the hotel, huh? Hindsight, I guess. Um, sorry. I’m rambling. Is…is now a bad time?” He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Um, depends on what you need, I guess.”
His smile was nervous. “I just thought…well, maybe we don’t have to call it a date, you know?
Like, maybe we can just call it hanging out or whatever.
I mean, you gotta be bored just hanging out in a hotel room.
Let’s go grab coffee. Or a burger. My treat.
” He ran a hand over his hair. “I know what it’s like to be in a not-so-good place, and you seem like you could really use the company.
I know I could. I don’t really know anyone in town, so…
” He looked around. “And feel free to tell me to leave you alone if I’m overstepping.
I’m not trying to…whatever. I’d just really like to get to talk to you a little more, if you’d like that.
No complications. No commitments. Just dinner. ”
I forgot what I was planning to say the longer he spoke, all the reasons we shouldn’t do it suddenly fading away. It was just dinner, after all. What was the harm in it? Maybe it would be nice to spend time outside of my own head for once. And I couldn’t deny my curiosity.
I wouldn’t cross a line.
I swore to myself I wouldn’t—
“I can see you’re thinking about it, so the salesman in me has to try and sell you on one final point here: it’s a beautiful night, and a woman like you shouldn’t be so alone.
I know you think I’m too young for you, but all I’m proposing is an hour.
Food, drinks, maybe a light joke peppered in now and again.
If you hate it, feel free to never speak to me afterward.
” He lowered his head ever so slightly, so he was closer to my face.
“But something tells me you won’t hate it. ”
I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully, then gave a resigned nod. What could it hurt? If nothing else, it would be a nice distraction for the evening. Nothing more. Matt was a nice guy. It was just dinner. “Okay, fine. You’ve convinced me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He clapped his hands together once. “All right. Do you need to change or anything?”
I looked down at the sweatpants and T-shirt I was wearing, not exactly ready for a hot date. But it wasn’t a date. And, if I changed, that meant accepting that I wanted it to be more than I could allow it to be. “I’m good.”
“Great!” he said, his voice an octave higher than it had been. “Excellent. Let’s go.”
“Let me grab my purse and shoes.” I stepped back, crossing the room to slide into my shoes. I shoved my phone into my purse before checking the mirror long enough to run a comb through my hair. I still wasn’t used to seeing my reflection.
He stayed in the hall, holding the door open but not invading my space without an invitation, which I was not planning to give him.
Once I was ready, we made our way down the hallway side by side. He kept watching me out of the corner of his eye, a wry grin on his lips, and when I’d catch him, he’d look away guiltily.
Even as I went, I felt ridiculous. I didn’t understand my own fascination with the kid.
Because that’s what he was—a child. Just a handful of years older than Dylan.
So, why was I letting myself be captivated by his frat-boy charm and winning smile?
He wasn’t exactly my type. The confidence he exuded, the sheer joy in his personality, was so far opposite from what I’d gotten with Peter. Maybe that was the appeal.
For an hour, with my new hair and my new life, I could pretend to be someone else.
We made it outside into the parking garage, and he held my door open for me, shutting it carefully after I was inside.
On our way out of the garage, he spoke finally, “So, any preferences?”
“Your choice.”
“Fair enough… Are you thinking fast food or a restaurant?”
I pulled my shirt away from my chest, staring down at the small stain near the hem. Why hadn’t I wanted to change, again? “Fast food, I guess.” My stomach growled at the thought. I wasn’t sure how long it had been since I’d eaten. “I’m starving.”
“Fast food it is.” He bobbed his head back and forth, turning right. “So, tell me about yourself.”
“Why don’t you tell me about yourself first?” I pressed.
He switched lanes, the muscle in his bicep twitching in a way that made me wonder if he was flexing. I looked away.
“Well, what do you want to know?”
“What brought you to Nashville?”
“That’s an easy one. Work. ”
“What do you do? You’re not in banking anymore, right?”
“You remembered?” He seemed pleased. “I’m a nurse, actually. I worked at a bank to get me through school, and I just graduated. A buddy of mine works at a hospital here. He put in a good word.”
I couldn’t deny the shock I felt. “A nurse? That’s impressive.”
“Thanks. It’s no big deal. What about you? What do you do at the bank?”
“I…” Truth was, I didn’t know anymore. Did I even still have a job? “I’m a manager.”
“Oh, nice. That’s crazy.” We were both quiet for a moment. Then, he asked, “So, what are you escaping from in that hotel room?”
I paused, trying to decide what to tell him. Not the truth.
“Too personal?” he asked, interrupting my internal contemplation.
“Maybe just a little.”
“Okay, cool. No worries. Um”—he clicked his tongue—“let’s see, how about something simple: what’s your favorite movie?”
“ The Proposal ,” I said without having to think.
“Which one’s that?”
“Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. It’s a rom-com, you probably haven’t—”
“Oh my god, the one with Betty White, right?” He chuckled. “Classic. ”
“What about you? Favorite movie?” It felt nice, losing ourselves in meaningless conversation. If I was being honest, it felt nice to talk to someone. Anyone. It felt like I’d been alone for so long.
“Hm, it’s hard to say. I’m more of a TV guy. I really liked Lost .”
“I haven’t seen that.”
“It’s good.” Every silence was heavy and weighted, filled with awkwardness as we both fought to fill it with small talk. “So, what about your kids? You have…how many?”
“Three.”
“Wow.” He scratched his chin. “How old are they?”
“Are you trying to decide how old I am?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Not really, no. That doesn’t matter to me.”
“They’re teenagers, well the boys are. Maisy, the one you met, she’s eleven…going on thirty,” I said finally with a nervous grin.
“Okay, I’m going to pull my first douchebag card of the night and say you do not look old enough to have teenagers.”
I grinned despite the fact I was pretty sure he’d just called me old in a roundabout way. “Your first card? How many will there be?”
“I’ll try to keep them to a minimum.” He smirked, pointing up ahead as we neared a restaurant. “Is this okay?”
“This is perfect,” I told him, so relieved to see food I wanted to leap from the truck .
“You’re pretty cool, Ainsley, you know that? Not what I expected.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but when I first met you, I never expected you to be the kind of girl who’d be down for sweats and a drive-through meal as a first date… That level of chill is nice, ya know?”
“I thought this wasn’t a date?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe I’ll get you to reconsider.”
I looked away, hiding the embarrassing way I was enjoying his attention. This hair dye was getting to my head, rewiring my mental responses. Something. This was not like me.
Once we had our food, he parked in a parking garage near the river front and we crossed the street, walking down the concrete steps to find a spot on the grass.
The area was mostly quiet, except for a man playing guitar for a small crowd and a group of older women sitting idly reading the same book.
“So what do you think of Nashville?” I asked, running my hands over my knees to ease the chill in the air.
“I’m…still deciding.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“It’s warmer than I would like and I’m not crazy about your roads, but no state tax is cool and…the company isn’t bad either.” He nudged me playfully.
“The heat will be gone soon, but I-24 potholes are here to stay, I’m afraid. ”
He laughed. “I think they’re going to have to start renting them out. What is the deal with that?”
I stared at him for a moment too long.
“What?” he asked.
“You’re just…different than I imagined.”
“You stole my line.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m serious.”
“What did you think I was like?”
“Well”—I licked a bit of ketchup from my finger, placing my burger down—“when I first met you, I thought you were young and cocky and trying to hit on my preteen daughter.”
He nearly choked, speaking with his mouth full. “What?”
“And then, I thought you must be some gold digger after my mother’s money.” I giggled when his eyes grew even wider.
“Man, I have got to work on my first impressions,” he said, swiping the back of his hand across his forehead.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, it had everything to do with my own issues and nothing to do with you. You’ve been incredibly kind to me. And my mother. So…thank you for that.”
“Oh, it’s no big deal,” he said, waving me off. “I haven’t really done anything.”
“You have. You fixed my flat tire and my mother’s fence, and you delivered my things today. Plus you got me out of the hotel tonight.”
“Well, yeah, but that was for my own selfish reasons.” He winked.
“Selfish or not, it was what I needed, so thank you.”
He nodded, taking another bite of his burger, then putting on his best Southern accent, he said, “I’m glad to be of service, ma’am.”
“Oh, god.” I covered my nose. “Leave that accent to the experts, and please don’t call me ma’am.”
“You just accused me of being a pedophile and a sugar baby all in one sentence. I think you deserve it,” he said playfully.
“Fair enough.” I lay back on the grass, staring up at the sky with a loud puff of air.
After a few moments, he lay down next to me. “For the record, I did offer to help your mom both of those times because I was hoping for a chance to see you again, so you aren’t wrong about me having romantic intentions. You were just assuming I was after the wrong girl.”
I turned my head slightly to look at him. “ Romantic intentions, hm?”
“We’re lying in the grass looking at the stars,” he said with a chuckle, then jutted his chin toward the guitar player down the hill from us. “There’s even music playing. I think we’re putting Ryan and Sandra to shame.”
Warmth spread through my stomach and out to my extremities, my breathing growing shallow.
“It’s killing me not to kiss you right now,” he whispered, a wistful smile growing on his lips.
I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, for fear whatever I said might be an encouragement for him to do so. I couldn’t trust myself. What was I doing? Why was I here? What was I thinking ?
There were so many more important things.
“But I think I’ll save that for our first date.” Without a word, he turned his face back toward the sky, the corners of his mouth fighting against a smile, and left me to ponder my racing thoughts.