Page 7

6

Alice

W hat the fuck just happened? This was unreal for so many reasons. She was here to figure her life out. Not to get lost in a crush on a guy so far out of her league. She was done pining for unattainable men. Getting a pity kiss was not going to help with any of that.

“I have to go.” She stood quickly and made her way upstairs.

“Alice, wait.” Taylor stood. “I’m sorry if I?—”

“No, it’s fine. I just need to go.”

She didn’t chance another glance back at him. She made it to her room and shut it quickly behind her and paced. What the hell just happened? This was not what was supposed to be happening. Taylor Campbell had just kissed her and called her beautiful.

She flopped on her bed, held a pillow over her face, and screamed.

Peeking out of her room, she saw the hallway was clear. She quickly made her way to the bathroom and got ready for bed.

Quickly, she made her way back to her room. After pulling up an audiobook, she popped in her earbuds and crawled under the covers. She would figure out what to do about this tomorrow. Maybe, by then, Taylor would be gone.

What was wrong with her? If she was normal, she would be having sex with a hot hockey player... Instead, she was alone and freaked out in her own room. She was disgusted with herself. Not because she wasn’t having sex but because she just couldn’t bring herself to believe his interest in him was anything more than pity. That’s all it ever had been. She was the joke. Or she was being used to get to her dad. Nothing was ever real.

She pushed away that thought spiral. That one hurt even more than the one about being a fuck-up. She did deep breathing and focused on her audiobook. It was a cozy fantasy romance about a girl who accidentally summoned a demon hopelessly in love and devoted to her. It was easy to get lost in. Sleep finally found her, and she was grateful for the reprieve from her own mind.

The next morning, she stretched as her eyes blinked open. She enjoyed a few peaceful moments before what had happened last night crept back into her mind. Pulling her pillow over her head, she groaned. He would be leaving today, and maybe she could just stay in here long enough, so he would be gone.

Although... she did have to pee. Again, she peeked her head out of the door and listened. The room’s door he had put his stuff in was open. The place was quiet, not a sound. Maybe he was already gone. She grabbed her towel off the back of the door and dashed to the bathroom.

She quickly closed the door behind her and turned on the water. It was almost over. Maybe part of her getting her shit together would have to involve moving far away from Glendale so she would never have to face Taylor again. Getting away from her family and the embarrassment of last night sounded pretty good.

That embarrassment only got worse when she opened the shower door. There, like a beacon in the night, was her dildo. Her rainbow unicorn horn dildo. The mortification of Taylor seeing that when he showered last night was palpable.

She should probably just leave the continent. That was the best course of action.

Of course, when she picked it up, because her current life was a comedy of errors, there was a knock at the door. She screamed and flung the colorful dildo across the room. It hit the door with a thud.

“Alice? Are you okay?”

“Yep. I’m good,” she said, praying he would go away.

“Okay, well, I’m going to go unless you need anything.”

“Nope. I’m good.”

There was a pause. She was hoping he left.

“Should I stick around until you’re out?”

“No need. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay . . .”

“Kay, bye.”

“Bye, Alice. Have a nice holiday.”

“You too. Bye.”

His footsteps receded, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Retrieving the colorful dildo from in front of the door, she set it on the sink and got undressed to get in the shower.

As the water poured over her, tension she had been holding onto since the night before washed down the drain with it. There was a small part of her that questioned his motives. He had no reason to kiss her out of pity. Why was that her first thought?

Sadly, she knew why that was her first thought. She’d had two relationships, if you could even call them that.

One was her high-school crush, where she was hopelessly in love with him. Only it was terribly one sided. Unrequited love was a bitch. Unrequited love that led you on for years because of your family was torture. He never let her completely shut the door but would push her away and reel her in, all because of her dad.

But unrequited love that falls in love with your sister when you leave for college is utterly destroying. Although she was so upset, everyone just told her she was being too sensitive. They were never actually together, so she should’ve just been happy for her sister... So, that’s what she did, even though it ripped her fucking heart out.

While dealing with that, she fell for another guy. This one is even more of a head trip. Loving her one minute, shaming her the next. Saying I love you but then denying they were together in public.

Nope. She would not think about Steven. She was here to relax before reclaiming her life, not play all her greatest failures over in her head.

Pushing it all away, she finished in the shower and dried off, looking forward to a quiet cabin and an omelet.

She pulled on tie-dye sweatpants and a pink hoodie with a yellow smiley face on it and made her way down to the kitchen. She caught her reflection as she passed through the living room. Her hair still made her smile. When she dressed cheerfully on the outside, it helped to perk her up a bit on the inside.

When she came into the kitchen, she spotted a note on the fridge. It was written in neat, precise handwriting, which almost looked like it had been typed. She smiled at it, pulling it down from the magnet that it was clipped to.

Alice,

I’m gonna hit the road, but I just wanted to apologize about last night. It’s clear I misread the situation. You would think pretty girls wouldn’t make me as nervous as they still seem to. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and the new year brings you everything you could ever want.

xo: Taylor

P.S. Your hair is incredible.

Alice couldn’t stop rereading the letter. Maybe he actually was into her. That made her smile, but that smile was soon followed by regret. Why was she like this? Why couldn’t she just kiss a cute boy on the sofa and not freak out?

She folded the note, put it in her pocket, and turned to the fridge to get out the eggs. Nothing to do about it now besides make an omelet and get on with her original plan.

She slid her omelet onto a plate, got out the peppermint mocha creamer from the fridge, and made herself a cup of coffee. It was Christmas Eve. Time to start one of her all-time favorite Christmas traditions.

She sat the plate in front of her, got the remote out, and searched for A Christmas Carol . Her dad loved it, so every Christmas Eve, they’d watch it all day. She had seen every rendition of it, and she loved all of them, although she did have her favorites. The first one she chose was a classic, and she wasn’t even ashamed as she turned on Mickey’s Christmas Carol .

After she finished her food, she got another cup of coffee and settled in on the couch. Pulling her purple fuzzy blanket around her, she shut out the world to Scrooge McDuck. Only to be jolted by a knock at the door. Clutching her heart, she glared at it. A familiar head peeked in the windows at the top of the door.