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Alice

A fter Taylor left, Alice rolled over and went back to sleep. Part of her felt like she should get up and be productive. It had been so ingrained in her to always find the most effective use of time, but a large part of her wanted to slow down. She found joy in taking things slow and taking them in. When she allowed her brain time to do nothing, she found more of her creative reserves.

She did finally get up around ten. It was weird waking up in Taylor’s house without him. In the bright light of morning, it looked different than it had when she got here last night. Rubbing her eyes, she made her way to the kitchen and made herself coffee. She opened her refrigerator, and it was impeccably organized. It resembled those aesthetic organizing videos. It was full of fruit veggies and single premade meals.

She did find a breakfast burrito and warmed it up while her coffee brewed, then walked to the big floor-to-ceiling windows and pulled the curtains.

While Glendale was not a huge city, living downtown made it easy to forget, so the arena was visible.

That was when she saw it.

How had she missed this last night? There, on the wall of the living room, next to the kitchen, was a wall of family photos, some hockey ones. The picture of him and Wayne Gretsky made her smile.

In the middle of it all was the sketch she had made for him in the cabin. The sketch of him as a character from Monsters of the Realm .

Moments like this, when she could find objectivity to look at her artwork, when she actually liked what she saw, were few and far between. But in this moment, she could see what Taylor saw. She was talented.

Moments like this actually made her think maybe she could do it. Maybe she could find a way to make it work for her. The microwave beeped, reminding her of her breakfast burrito. She set the plate down at the table next to her coffee and scrolled while she ate her breakfast. She had lots of artists in her feed, and this morning, she pulled up their profiles and looked at how they set up their shops and commissions.

Doing this wasn’t new. It was something she’d been doing for years, but she found herself starting to believe she could do it again. It was a dangerous feeling for her because she could easily get lost in it and lose all reality. At least that’s what her family said when she talked about doing this full time, but Taylor had her thinking maybe she could do it.

After she finished eating, she moved to the couch to keep working on the series of drawings she was doing with the team. As she curled up on the couch, she noticed a rainbow of neat block letters on her leg that read My Rainbow Girl . She couldn’t have stopped the grin that spread across her face if she tried. When had he done that?

With her heart feeling all warm, she settled in on the couch and finished up the sketches of the team.

A stack of papers on the coffee table pulled her attention. Picking it up, she examined it. It looked like scribbles inside of a big oval. It was on a stack of papers all with similar looking scribbles. These seemed out of place in Taylor’s pristine condo, but knowing him there was a perfectly good explanation for these.

Before long, the door opened, and in walked Taylor. She couldn’t stop herself from hopping up off the couch and going straight to him and throwing her arms around him. He barely had time to get his bag down before she was in his embrace.

“Whoa. What’s this for?” he asked as he braced himself.

“I’m just happy to see you,” she said, beaming up at him.

Maybe Alice in the past would have tried to hide her joy at him simply walking through the door. This was part of what other deemed “too much.”

But she didn’t want to tamp it down.

And when he looked down at her with his eyes filled with adoration, she relaxed into the feelings... She wished it could be like this all the time.

“I’m happy to see you, too,” he said. He cupped her face and kissed her. “Are you hungry? I wasn’t sure what you would eat, but I always eat grain bowls on game days,” he said as he showed her the two to-go containers he’d set on the counter before she jumped into his arms.

“I’ll eat either of these. One is Chicken. One is steak. Also, don’t feel like you need to eat these, I just wanted to include you. If you want to eat one, please do. If you want to order something else while I eat this, that is fine with me, too.”

“These look great. You pick the one you want, and I’ll eat the other.”

“I always eat a steak grain bowl before games.”

“Well, then, I’ll take this one,” she said with a soft smile. “Thank you for thinking about me.”

“Do you mind if I watch some game videos while we eat?”

“Not at all,” she said, joining him on the couch with her grain bowl.

She sat next to him and ate while they watched the game. After they had both finished eating, he took their containers to the kitchen and came back and settled on the couch with her. She got out her tablet to keep working on her sketches while he settled into watching the game.

After a while, Alice looked over at him. He was hyperfocused on the TV. It was like nothing else existed to him. His hand was moving, and on the couch next to him he had the stack of papers. He scribbled on the paper next to him.

“What are you doing?”

“What?” he looked over at her, confused. “I’m just examining the game videos.”

“No, what are you doing with that?” she asked, pointing to the paper and pencil in his hand.

“Oh...” He curled a sheepish smile. “That’s just something I do sometimes.”

“Why?”

“When I was a kid, I watched an interview with Wayne Gretsky. He was talking about how he was always one step ahead of the puck, and he shared he thought it was because, when he was a kid, when he would watch hockey with his dad, he would always trace where the puck was. It helps to be able to know where it is and predict bounces and stuff like that as much as you can. I don’t know if it helps, but I’ve done it ever since I saw that interview.”

“You really like Wayne Gretsky, don’t you?”

He looked at her like she had lost her mind. “He’s the great one for a reason, Alice,” he said very seriously.

“You’re right,” she said with a light chuckle. “What was I thinking?”

He turned his focus back to the screen, and she watched him before getting back to her art. It felt right, righter than anything she’d experienced in a long time.

Before long, the game videos were over, and Taylor stood. “I’m going to go take a nap.”

“Okay,” Alice said, smiling at him.

He turned and left into the room.

Alice turned back to her art.

A few minutes later, he came out of the bedroom, shaking his hands and looking agitated.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he grunted, but the crease did not leave his brow. “I just... I don’t know. Something feels off.”

He went to the kitchen and got a drink and paced a bit before returning to his room. In another minute, he came out and stood by his door, still shaking his hands.

“Do you want me to leave?”

She didn’t necessarily want to leave, but he was in the middle of his game-day ritual, so she wouldn’t mind.

“No,” he said immediately. “It just doesn’t feel right with you out here.”

Another moment passed in an awkward silence.

“Do you want to come with me?” he blurted.

“Yeah, if you want me there.”

“Alice, I will always want you in bed with me... always.”

Holding his hand out, he helped her up off the couch and led her into the bedroom. He pulled back the covers, and they settled in.

She had wondered if there would be any fooling around but didn’t want to try anything. At the end of the day, she was just so happy to be included in his game-day ritual.

He closed the blinds with a remote and turned off the bedside light. It was cool and perfect for a good long winter’s nap.

After their nap, Taylor got up, got himself a cup of coffee, got his suit on, and headed out the door. Part of her wanted to go with him. It would be nice to pull up together, but they weren’t quite ready for that yet. They had only been together for a while, and this weeklong break from each other would prove a lot to her. So, while she was sad they were flying out after the game, it would be good for them.

On her way to the arena, she stopped by her house and quickly climbed the stairs to her room. She couldn’t find what she was looking for. Next, she tried the bathroom, searching the drawers and medicine cabinet, and had no luck. The only other place she could think to look was the hall closet. After moving around unorganized baskets, which had been organized at one point and now were just a hodgepodge of beauty supplies and first aid and medication, finally, she found what she was looking for.

She pulled out the colorful package of hair chalk, aiming for the purple and teal. It wasn’t perfect, and she could get her hair done soon, but it would be good for the night. With a couple streaks through her hair, she set out for the arena, feeling a bit more like herself.

When the game was over, she headed back to try and find Taylor before he loaded onto the bus. Even though they had just turned in an easy win by beating Nashville 0–4, she was still nervous to go back and see the players.

She trusted that Taylor had feelings for her, but when they weren’t together, it was hard to remember. The last time she’d seen him after a game felt like years ago... but it was only days ago. She couldn’t quite trust her feelings.

But all those fears were dashed when she turned the corner and her eyes met Taylor’s. He was absolutely beaming at her.

The players were on their way to the bus, getting ready to head out for the week. Taylor walked right over to her and was about to wrap her up in his arms when she heard it.

“Alice, sweetheart, did you come down to say goodbye?”

She turned, and her dad was in his suit, carrying his bag and making his way to the bus, too.

“Daddy! Oh yeah, I sure did. I just thought since I was here, I might make my way down and say goodbye before you left.”

He set his suitcase down and pulled her into a hug. Taylor had stopped in his tracks, but he smiled at her. Somehow, she carried on a conversation with her father, even though her entire being was aware of where Taylor was and what he was doing.

Taylor was now back by the bus, and he pulled out his phone and texted someone. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she itched to check it, but she was still talking with her dad.

“Are you okay, sweetheart? You seem a little distracted.”

“Oh, I’m good. I think I’m just ready to head home, but I wanted to say goodbye and have a good road trip and all that.”

“Well, thank you. Let’s get dinner when you get back.”

“Sounds good.”

Her dad gave her one last hug and turned to board.

Her eyes searched the crowd for Taylor one last time and caught sight of him right before he climbed the steps for the bus. She smiled brightly at him, and he winked at her, making her weak in her knees.

As she made her way to the car, she felt oddly emotional. She wished Taylor wasn’t leaving, so she pulled out her phone to check the message.

Taylor: I like your hair. I look forward to seeing you again once I’m home.

Alice grinned at her phone.

Alice: I’m glad you liked it. I’ll miss you. I hope you guys win and come home fast.

When she pulled up to her house, her phone sounded again.

Taylor: about to get on the plane, and I’m going to get some sleep. I hope you do the same.

Alice: I will try. Good night.

Taylor: Goodnight, Rainbow girl

Alice made it into her house and up into her room without her feet touching the ground. She was floating. That’s all there was to it. She got out of her work clothes and washed her face, getting ready for bed.

As she got in bed, the neat print covering her thigh that read My Rainbow Girl , and she searched for local tattoo parlors on her phone. Even if things went downhill with Taylor, she needed this reminder to be who she was. Maybe part of New Year, New You was going to be more of a learning to love herself instead of changing yourself. It was time.