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Alice

A lice watched as Taylor headed up the stairs to take a shower. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. She tried not to let her eyes linger on his utterly perfect round ass. She’d grown up around hockey players, and their ass and legs were the stuff of legends, and even in his khakis, she could tell his ass was amazing.

Shaking her head, she disappeared into the kitchen. After pouring her freshly popped popcorn into a big bowl, she dumped in two bags of M&M’s. It was the best. She then took the big bowl and the two mugs of hot chocolate to the coffee table, where she waited for Taylor.

Sneaking a glance out the window, she could see the snow was really coming down. It looked like there was already over an inch out there. She wouldn’t fantasize about being snowed into a remote cabin over Christmas with a hot hockey player... but it was looking like reality.

She was getting carried away. Calm down , she told herself as she snatched two red M&M’s from the popcorn bowl, even if she was in the same situation many heroines often find themselves in romance novels.

This was not a romance novel. She was not like those girls. Romance books weren’t written about girls who were too much. Too big. Too loud. Too flighty. Too sensitive. Too much of a fuck-up. She’d heard it all. And she wished she could brush it off. Maybe there were times she could have, but the problem was, she was starting to believe it.

Nothing in her life ever worked out, and there was one common denominator in all the situations. Her. She had had countless jobs, career ideas, friend groups. Nothing stuck. The only thing she had never tried was sex. So here, she sat, a jobless, virginal, fuck-up.

That thought spiral was blessedly stopped by Taylor’s reappearance.

There he stood, at the top of the stairs. His wet hair was slicked back. He wore a plain tight white T-shirt that stretched over his biceps. And she would not stare at the bulge underneath those red-and-black plaid pajama pants. But when her eyes connected with his, her heart thudded away in her chest. Fuck.

“You ready?” she asked cheerfully, trying to mask her lust and depression, and both were fighting for top billing in her mind.

It’s a good thing masking her inner thoughts was something she had lots of practice at.

“Let’s do this,” he said as he made his way down the rest of the stairs.

She pushed play, and the opening credits to White Christmas started. Taylor stopped by the window and took in the blowing snow.

“Wow, it’s accumulating pretty quickly out there. I’m so glad I’m not driving,” he said as he made his way to the couch. “Thanks again for letting me stay the night.” He sat on the other end of the couch, the big popcorn bowl between them. He took a handful. Tilting his head, he gazed at his hand. “M&M’s?”

“Salty and sweet,” said Alice. “Can’t beat it.”

The level of comfort was not what she was expecting. Alice wasn’t very comfortable around many people, but she was comfortable around him.

They came to the part of the movie where the sister sang their song, and she couldn’t help but sing along.

“Seen this movie a time or two?” he asked, with no judgment.

“Every year. I was so excited when my mom married my stepdad. I thought having a sister would be just like this. I talked her into singing it with me one year.”

“Somehow, I can’t imagine Isabelle Wagner singing,” he said with a smirk.

Alice couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. “Yeah... I don’t think she would do it anymore, but when we were kids, she could be pretty fun. They all grew up... but I stayed the same.”

He turned to her with a look she couldn’t quite read. Respect and possibly fondness, but neither made any sense.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t change,” he said, with their gaze still connected. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been this way since I was a kid, too. When something works, why change it?” He grinned.

“Are you saying something about me works?”

“Lots of things about you work, Alice.” Her mouth fell open, and a slight crease appeared between his brows. “Sorry if that was too forward,” he said quickly.

“Are you flirting with me?”

Surely, he wasn’t.

“Badly,” he said with a nod. “I’m not as smooth as some of the guys on the team.”

“You’re not so bad at it,” she said, trying to keep her emotions reined in, oscillating between falling in love or thinking this was all a joke.

But Taylor didn’t seem like the kind of jerk who would make her think he liked her just to mock her, and because of that, she really needed to get control of her runaway emotions. He was just being nice.

She broke eye contact and got back to the movie. The movie was safe. Why was she like this?

“Is there a video of you and your sister doing the song? I’d like to see that,” he said, chuckling to himself.

“No, even as a kid, she never would have allowed that,” she said with a laugh.

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but your dad mentioned that he was meeting everyone in the city for Christmas. Why aren’t you with them?”

She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair. As it fell from behind her ear, she was reminded of the freshly colored rainbow hair she had, and it did help her to feel better.

“They think I’m on a business trip.”

“But you are alone in a cabin,” he said, gesturing to the room around them.

“I am.”

The room was quiet as Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney sang about snow. He was waiting for her to continue. He was leaving tomorrow, and she wasn’t one to hang out around the team. Why would he even care? And he was surprisingly easy to talk to... So, she decided to be honest, which wasn’t always her go to.

“I lost my job, and I just couldn’t bring myself to go.”

He just nodded and smiled at her, again with no judgment at all. “That sucks.”

“I really tried this time,” she continued. “But I just can’t seem to make myself work in office situations. The monotony gets to me and then I start making mistakes and being late... Whatever it is.” This is the thought spiral she was trying to stave off, but here it was. “I guess I’m just a fuck-up,” she said in a voice above barely a whisper.

His head snapped to her, and this time, she did sense more emotion behind those beautiful brown eyes.

“Why would you say that?”

She tipped a shrug. “It’s not like I’m the only person who says it.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

Shaking her head, she said, “It’s fine. I’m twenty-eight, I’ve never kept a job longer than a year. I never finished college. I’ve never had a serious relationship. I’m pretty much stumbling through life. And in my family, it’s painfully obvious.”

“None of that makes you a fuck-up. I never finished college, and I’ve never been in a serious relationship.”

“It’s different.”

“Why?”

She cocked an eyebrow. “You’re a professional athlete. You play on one of the best teams, and you’re one of the best defensemen in the league. It’s clearly not the same.”

“All I’m saying is, if I didn’t have hockey and had to try and force myself into an office job I hated, it would end badly. You just need to find what you’re good at,” he said, as if it were that easy.

She laughed at him. “Oh, is that all?”

He cocked his head, seemingly confused. “Yeah, find what you’re good at, something you love doing, and make it work.”

“Well, considering I don’t have any hidden talents that would make me millions, I’m not sure that’s an option for me.”

“What do you want to do? What about your art?”

She just shrugged.

The fact he remembered she liked art made her smile, but it didn’t matter. What was the point of even talking about it? No amount of dreaming was going to help her magically get herself put together. And that’s what this week was for. This week was for finally getting her shit together, not dreaming up another scheme to fail at.

The look on Taylor’s face confused her. She was looking for the familiar judgment when people realized she was a fuck-up, but she didn’t find it there. Just curiosity. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Emotions weren’t far behind, and she didn’t want to be dealing with that while sitting next to one of the most attractive, best smelling men she had ever been this close to.

“What about you? What are you hiding away from?”

He cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean, hiding away from?”

“I mean we’re both here at what we thought would be an empty cabin for Christmas.”

“Well, to be fair, I was on my way home until all this started,” he said, pointing to the snow.

The snow was really coming down. She caught sight of his car, which seemed to already be covered in a good inch of snow as it was.

“Oh, right... I guess I’m the only one hiding away on Christmas,” she said, shifting away from him and pulling the blanket around her.

She had forgotten he was here because his flight got canceled. She turned her attention back to the movie. Sipping her hot chocolate, she settled into the corner of the couch, trying to get lost in the comfort of the glow of the Christmas tree and the movie.