Page 2

CHAPTER TWO

A few days later, there was a loud knock on the front door, and then the bell rang over and over. I finished washing my hands and rushed from the kitchen to see who was being a pain before?—

“Who the fuck keeps ringing the bell? I’m going to wring their goddamn neck,” Mum said, barrelling down the stairs.

She opened the door and her mouth, then closed her lips and glared instead. “Next time you even think about messing with that damn bell, rethink it. Got it?”

Maya nodded. “Completely.”

Mum huffed and pulled her into a hug. “Good to see you.”

“You too.” Maya hugged her back and then stepped inside, waving and smiling over at me. “I have something exciting,” she called.

Mum snorted. “I’ll leave you two alone. I’m in the middle of cleaning out our wardrobe.”

“Bye, Deanna,” Maya said. Mum waved over her shoulder on the way back up the stairs.

Maya took my arm and dragged me into the kitchen. “Yum, something smells nice.”

“I’m baking cookies. We all can’t have a sister-in-law who owns a bakery.”

Maya smirked. “You know you can go to Channa’s anytime.”

I nodded with a smile as I sat at the counter. “You know I don’t like going since she doesn’t charge us anything.”

Maya sat next to me, and it was then I noticed the piece of paper in her hand. “We keep telling her, but she won’t listen.” She waved the paper in front of her. “Now, just know this could be the best time to tell a certain someone that they hurt you when they stopped talking to you.”

My stomach fluttered. “What are you on about?”

She handed over the paper, and I opened it.

I read it once.

Twice.

And even a third, just in case I got it wrong the first two times.

I hadn’t.

My body flushed while my heart tried to crawl up my throat to escape like I wanted to.

Swallowing thickly, I shook my head and gave her the paper back. “No. Sorry.”

“Swan, it’s a small meet and greet to show his hometown thanks for their support. Hardly anyone will be there.”

I cocked a brow.

“Okay, there may be heaps of women there swooning over him. But there were only fifty tickets available to get a personal photo opportunity with him.”

“Maya, thank you for thinking of me. But I’m not going there to make a fool of myself.”

“I’m not saying you have to ask him why he was a dickhead and stopped contacting you, but?—”

My organs twisted. “His life got busy, and he had no time for old friendships. It’s as simple as that.”

She scoffed. “I don’t believe it, and I know deep down you don’t either. The concert Saturday won’t give you time like this to be up close and personal with him.”

Blowing out a breath, I stared down at the floor.

I wasn’t really thinking of doing this, was I?

He’d tell me to leave, and then I’d cry and run away, which would make me look like a fool.

Will he, though?

Maya was right when saying this would be the only time I could speak with him.

I glanced down at the paper Maya placed on the counter.

Blood pumped fast through my veins.

I couldn’t do it.

“Come on, Swan. You need to speak to him. You need to find out if it’s only his job getting in the way of contacting you, and then, if it is, you can forget about him. You can move on and stop wondering.”

I had always wanted to find out why.

But was the risk of humiliating myself worth an answer?

That was even if he would tell me or see me.

“It’s not the right place,” I told her, lifting my gaze. I shook my head as I pressed a hand to my anxious stomach. “I can’t do it.”

She reached out and took my hand in both of hers. “I love you, Swan. You’re like a sister to me. But I’m worried about you. You move through life like there’s nothing outside of books. There is. You just have to make the effort to find it.”

Ouch.

“You think I’m hiding in books to protect myself from actual hurt?” Didn’t she think I’d been hurt enough when Lockland cut me out?

She shook her head. “I think you’re already hurt, and you’ve let that run your life.”

Ouch again.

I glanced away as tears welled.

Her words were more painful to hear because they were true.

Books didn’t hurt me.

Reading didn’t confuse me.

Fiction wasn’t real.

“I’m sorry, Swan. That was horrible of me to say.”

“It’s not when it’s true,” I whispered.

I’m not living even when I’m alive.

I drew in a deep breath, and let it out shakily as I nodded. “All I can do is try.”

Maya bobbed her head with hope shining in her eyes.

“All right. We’ll go. When is it?” At least I had time to prepare. Not that I knew how.

She bit her bottom lip and raised her brows. I wasn’t going to like what she was about to say. “In an hour.”

I froze.

With Maya’s hand still in mine, she pulled me out of my seat. “Let’s go see what you can wear.”

“An hour?” I asked.

She led me into the living room just as I heard the buzzer on the oven. I pulled my hand free and spun back to the kitchen.

“Can’t go. Cookies. Eat.” I raced off.

My heart wanted me to vomit it out.

I wasn’t ready after all.

Nope. Not at all.

The strength I had moments ago had disappeared, and I wasn’t going to get it back.

I wouldn’t.

“Swan,” Maya called, following me.

“Can’t. I have so much to do.” I grabbed the oven mitt and took the cookies out. “How long did you know about this?” I looked up to catch her wince.

“A little while.”

I placed the tray on top of the burners, shoulders dropping. “You knew if I had time, I’d say yes and then back out.”

“Um, maybe.”

Groaning, I swiped a hand over my face. Even when my hand was still in the oven mitt. “I’m that predictable.” I hated that I was.

Removing the oven mitt, I turned to Maya, and she smiled. “I should have told you when I managed to get the tickets. Sorry.”

Snorting, I shook my head. “It’s okay. I guess, well, let’s go and see what I have to wear.”

Oh God, I think I’m going to vomit.

* * *

“I should have asked how many tickets you managed to get,” I said as I looked up at Maya’s husband, Texas.

Maya rolled her eyes and leaned back into Texas when he curled his arm across her chest. “He got his own ticket. Didn’t like us going alone in this big crowd.”

Understandable. It was very busy and noisy. Both made my skin crawl.

I turned around. “And you two?”

Ruin grinned; he was also a member of the Hawks Motorcycle Club. “We didn’t know you lot were comin’. Taro’s a huge fan. He got our tickets.”

Taro, or Wolf, as everyone else but Ruin called him, stared at his husband blandly. “I would not say a huge fan. I merely enjoy his music.”

“Right.” I nodded. “And you?” I asked the man standing behind Ruin and Wolf with his arms clasped behind his back as he searched the crowd.

“I go where Wolf goes,” Ryo replied while he kept looking at everyone. Of course that would be his answer. He was Wolf’s personal guard.

I’d heard that Wolf had many enemies from the time his family dealt in nefarious activities.

Though I wasn’t sure why Ryo needed to protect Wolf and Ruin within a group of fangirling women.

Then again, the guys were getting admired a lot. Same as Texas and even the other man who I’d just met.

“Okay.” I nodded again. “And then you?”

“He’s mine, so I go where he does.” Link nodded towards Ryo.

Ryo blushed and scowled at Link. “I’m not yours.”

Link winked at him. “Not what you said this mornin’.”

Wolf told me, “They will be staying outside as we enter the building.”

“I wouldn’t have taken you as a groupie, Wolf,” Texas said with a smirk.

Wolf glared at Texas. “I am not a groupie.”

Ruin chuckled, which caused Wolf to elbow him.

They were all a great distraction for me, but the closer in line we moved to the door where he would be, the more my body reacted.

I was either going to vomit or poop myself with all the nerves moving through me like a wildfire.

Glancing around again, I swallowed thickly and shook out my hands.

Please don’t vomit.

Or shit yourself.

Someone bumped into me, and I smiled softly at Maya, who’d been the culprit.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Nodding, I drew in a shaky breath. “Yeah. I think. I just want this to be done.”

“Swan, Joshua just informed me you know Lockland,” Wolf said.

“Ah, I did. He used to live next door to my family.”

Wolf’s eyes widened. “Next door?”

“Yes,” I whispered when people around us started to look at us more and try to listen in. “We were friends, and then life got busy.”

“My boo, you’re not gonna swoon over this guy, right?” Ruin asked Wolf. “I’m better lookin’, right?”

Wolf patted Ruin’s arm. “Yes, yes, better.”

Ruin’s brows pinched, and I caught Ryo turning away to chuckle silently while Link watched Ryo with adoration in his gaze.

So many of my friends had found happiness with the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with.

I wanted that.

When I saw all their love and caring, it made my heart ache that I didn’t have anyone who would cherish me like my friends’ partners did.

Clenching my jaw, I shook my head.

I didn’t need to wallow. It was my own fault after all.

I longed for someone who’d forgotten about me.

And now you’re about to see him.

Shit, shit, shit.

“Move up,” someone called.

Wolf shot them a glare. “We will when we’re ready.”

Ruin chuckled, curling Wolf into his body and shifting them up the line.

There were two women in front of me.

Only two.

I’d said I’d wanted to go first to get this over with, but now I was second-guessing my choice.

I grabbed Maya’s arm. “You go before me.”

“What? No. You should.”

“I can’t. I don’t want to.”

“I believe I’m missing something here,” Wolf commented. “I can go first.”

“No,” Maya said. “Swan is going first.” She took my hand from around her wrist to hold onto it. “You’ve got this. You’re going to walk in there with your head held high. If the opportunity arises, you’ll ask him why he stopped communicating with you. Then, if you don’t like his answer, you kick him in the shin and run.”

Snorting, I shook my head. “And get tackled to the ground instantly by his guards.”

Texas scoffed. “We’ll keep them back.”

Smiling, I nodded my thanks.

Okay, I could do this.

It was too late to run now anyway.

There was only one woman in front of me as Maya gently ushered me in front of her.

I glanced off to the side.

Maybe I could make a run for it.

No.

I would do this.

It was just Lockland.

He was my best friend.

The one who knew everything about me.

Until he decided to ghost me.

I did deserve an answer.

“She looks like she might faint,” Wolf commented.

“She’ll be fine. She’s just a little nervous,” Maya said.

A little?

No, my bowels were pressing down on my asshole, and I was going to shit myself. I had to clench that thing like my life depended on it.

Hell, maybe I was a little more like my mum than I thought.

The woman before us let out a squeal when they announced she could go through the black curtain.

A least I wouldn’t react like that.

Not that I could blame her. He was a superstar.

Oh shit, I can’t do this. I can’t face him.

Lockland was just behind that curtain.

What did I say? How did I stand?

What happened if I entered and fell on my face?

My ears rang with how fast my blood pumped through my veins.

“Next” was called, and I think I whimpered.

I went to turn back to Maya and tell her sorry, but I was leaving, but a hand to my back pushed me through the curtain.