Page 80 of String Boys

“Dad?”

Seth’s dad came around to them and held out his arms, and as they both went in for the hug, Kelly saw his face, rumpled and swollen, eyes red like blood.

“Mr. Arnold?”

“Seth?” he said quietly. “I need you to go pack for at least two weeks. I’ll come in and sign you out in a few. Can you do that?”

And Seth—he didn’t say, “But I have a performance in a week.” He didn’t say, “No! Tell me now!” He just went, squeezing Kelly’s shoulder like he knew what was coming.

Kelly couldn’t fathom what was coming. “Mr. Arnold?”

“Kelly, your dad and brother were in an accident this morning. They weren’t coming here. I thought you should know that. I guess… I guess they got in a fight, and Matty was driving, and he wrecked the car.”

“My brother—”

“Matty’s okay,” Mr. Arnold said, and Kelly heard it then. The terrible pause.

“No.”Oh God. No.

“I’m sorry, son.”

“No.”

“I’m so sorry. It happened on impact.”

“No no no no no….”

And Seth’s dad held him forever and ever after that. Even after Seth came out, his few possessions in his arms, and took over, Kelly could hear his own wail in his ears, in his head, in his heart, for years and years.

“Daddy, no!”

Songs from Outer Space

THERE WASnothing Seth could do.

Nothing.

He held Kelly in the back of the car all the way to Sacramento, while Kelly whimpered because he couldn’t sob anymore.

When they got to the hospital, Kelly’s mom was in one of the many family rooms in the ICU unit at Kaiser, and so were his little sisters. Lulu was asleep, iron-straight black hair in stunning disarray, Chloe cradled in her arms.

Oh. Yes. Seth could see it—the thinness in the baby’s limbs, the convulsive way she clutched at Lulu’s shirt.

Kelly was right to worry about this baby.

But now was not the time.

Linda pulled her son into a long, intense hug, and while she was doing that, Seth and his father had a short conference.

“I’ll take the girls home,” he said. “Do you want to stay here with Kelly or come help with the girls?”

“Wherever he needs me,” Seth said on automatic, but that got to be trickier as the week went on.

That night he stayed in the hospital, sometimes holding Kelly’s hand and sometimes holding Chloe because Linda kept expecting Isela to show up to take care of her daughter.

“I don’t know what she’s doing,” Linda muttered. “I—your husband is in the ICU, how do you not show up?” She shook her head. “I….” And for the first time, Seth saw her broken. “I can’t. I can’t go see him. I’m so damned mad. Oh God, Kelly, I’m so mad at him. He took your daddy from me, and I….”

And she and Kelly were clutching each other, crying, and Seth was standing, helpless, Matty’s daughter in his arms.