Page 129 of String Boys

Seth had sent him flowers.

Fucking flowers. Kelly had opened the box in shock. The card read,I always wanted to do this at school,and Kelly had looked at the arrangement—red roses and white carnations, classic!—and smiled, hoping he could manage not to sob like a big sap, because he’d expected his twenty-first birthday to be crap from beginning to end.

He had texted Seth a picture, then one of each of the girls tucking a rose or carnation into her ponytail so they could look pretty at school and then one of himself with the rest of the arrangement behind him.

He’d put on a smile—he hoped—because the gesture was lovely, but inside….

He couldn’t shake the sadness, the need.

He hadn’t told Seth about his encounter with Matty on the landing three nights ago. Hadn’t told him that Vashti had broken up with his last boyfriend and was going with Edgar, who was a douchewaffle. Had stopped telling him about how Chloe had days when she ran around the apartment chanting, “Set? Set where a’ oo?” and then crying when it turned out that he reallywasn’tthere, and she had to listen to the recording ofFor Kelly #6, his latest, that Seth had recorded with an entire orchestra behind him—and apparently, had sold and was touring to promote, for money, because Seth kept sending that too.

Just voicing these things hurt him.

Kelly wasn’t sure he could say them to Seth without losing his shit.

But God, he had to lose something. Anything. So when Vashti had asked him to go out dancing at Gatsby’s Nick with him and Edgar the Douchewaffle, Kelly had said yes.

It didn’t matter that Edgar was one of those flirty assholes who tried to touch him too much, or that sometimes the club scene freaked him out.

What mattered was that, as of that morning, drinking was legal, Vashti had promised to have his back, and he’d taken a Lyft to the club.

God, something needed to give.

Yeah!He lied to Seth.Going dancing!

Have fun. Call me when you’re done. I need to tell you something.

Kelly frowned at the phone.Something bad?

No. Something great! But later. Have fun. I love you!

And Kelly wanted to call himright then, but the music from the club was already clouding the air, and Vashti was probably already inside, but Edgar was standing in front, waving him in, his blond hair spectacularly coiffed and that weird dorky predatory grin on his pale face.

It didn’t matter. Edgar was incidental.

I love you back, he texted, and he shoved his phone into his jeans with his wallet. A part of him gave a huge sigh of relief. No talking. No baring his soul. He gave his coat to the coat-check girl, made sure everything was secure in his back pocket, and hit the dance floor like a demon screaming from God.

Two hours later—and three vodka shots down—he was still dancing, but not even the sweat and the movement and the screaming calf muscles could drive the devil out of him.

Suddenly he was just really lonely, even in the middle of all those people.

Suddenly he needed to talk to Seth more than he needed to breathe.

He turned to leave, making his way to Vashti to bail, when he felt an unmistakable hand on his ass.

He whirled, unleashing a quick punch, before he even knew who it was. “Back off!”

Edgar was clutching his chest and looking indignant. “Dude, I was just wondering where you were going!”

“Taking off!” Kelly yelled over the crowd. Hell, he didn’t want to get into this. All the rubbing, the grinding—yeah, it had made him horny, and the only place he had to go was to his room, which he shared with the world’s loneliest four-year-old. God, even if he took the easy way out and slept at Seth’s apartment, he couldn’t fap off in Seth’s bed with his father in the next room. But that’s what his body was screaming for, dying for Seth’s voice, at the very least, and a dark room, and his own hands on his skin if he couldn’t have Seth’s.

“Are you sure?” Edgar’s smile turned skeezy. “You know, we’re pretty good on the dance floor.” He took two steps right up into Kelly’s personal space and put his hands on Kelly’s hips. “You, me—we could go out back and take a breather.”

Kelly turned around fast enough to catch Edgar with his elbow. “No. Now fuck off. I’m gonna go say night to Vashti.”

Vashti, who’d been buying the drinks, at least deserved Kelly’s respect.

“Vashti! Man, I gotta go!”