Page 133 of String Boys

“Yeah? How is he?”

“He’s great. He’s got… well, he’s sort of wondering if we can, you know, all….”

She had some tweaks to add to the plan—some of them surprising, some of them thoughtful.

But while they talked, Kelly sat on the couch and leaned his head against her, grateful for the soft woman smell of his mommy, the acceptance, and now, hearing her plan about an opportunity she’d never have thought of, the joy.

He wanted to ask about her and Seth’s dad and tell her it was okay, but he was just so grateful, this night. It could have ended disastrously. There were so many bad choices he could have made. But the ones he did make were leading him where he wanted to go.

“This sounds so good.” He let out a sigh. “So good. I can’t believe Seth put all this together.”

“I can, baby. That boy loves you.”

“Yeah, but for how long?”Oh. Oh no.He hadn’t meant to make his voice that bitter. “I mean, you know, I don’t know how long I’ll be—”

“Lily and Lulu graduate in two and a half years,” she said, her voice as level as he’d ever heard it. “Tell him until then. Tell yourself until then.”

“But Mommy—school, rent, Agnes, Chloe—”

She gave a short laugh. “Don’t you think Seth will want to take Chloe with him, if it’s possible?” she asked gently. “And the girls are already working toward scholarships. They’ll have jobs. They can help me pay rent after you move out.” He saw the flush under her dusky skin. “And you know, I might not be alone forever.” Her smile—warm and weary and so welcome—came back, and she started to play with his hair, like she had when he’d been a child. “You’ve been my brave little man for a long time, Kelly. So much longer than you should have. But I need you to have a life and a future. Seth? He’s everything you deserve in life,mijo.If you can care for Chloe, give her a home where she’s her daddy’sshining star, you will have given everything I could ask for, you think?”

Kelly bit his lip and let his mother offer him this. An end. A light at the end of the tunnel. A ready-made family in a faraway place, wherever Seth landed. A chance to be with the man he loved.

“KELLY! Ithought you weren’t coming in today! I was going to call you after my shift.”

Kelly looked at his boss and friend grimly. “Vashti, you and me need to talk.” He kept walking, past Raven, who was putting together a very pretty Christmas display, and past Julia and Callum, who were both being absurdly gentle with an aging queen who had trouble sitting down, much less trying on the boots she’d made up her mind to wear.

Vashti didn’t even ask him where he was going. They blew through the store and didn’t stop until they hit the washer and drier, where Kelly crossed his arms and scowled.

“What?” But Vashti looked away. “This isn’t about Edgar, is it? Because I broke up with him last night.”

“And I appreciate that,” Kelly conceded. “I also appreciate the trip to the club, and the drinks, and the way you had my back.”

“But why—”

“I appreciated everythingexceptthe come-on.”

Vashti froze, a guilty grimace on his face. “Yeah. That was in… poor taste.”

“I thought we were over this. I mean technically, you hadn’t even broken up with Edgar by then!”

“I….” Vashti let out a sigh. “Look, Edgar was a… a trophy, you understand? A prop. Sure, he was an asshole, but I just wanted someone to prove to you that I moved on after Andre! You… you let me talk to you when I’m dating someone. You go out with me. You relax and be my friend—”

“But it’s pretty shitty to just pretend to be my friend when you want to get in my pants!”

“I’m notpretendingto be anything!” Vashti retorted. “You are just… prickly. You don’t let anybody in. You just hide behind your fake boyfriend—”

“My fake boyfriend?” Kelly tilted his head. “Who was it whining about all the time I took off this summer to see my fake goddamned boyfriend!”

“You know what I mean!” Vashti yelled, pushing away from the washer where he’d been leaning and pacing.

“No, I don’t. Enlighten me.”

“You’ve been having a long-distance relationship since I’ve known you, Kelly. What’s it been? Three and a half years? Who does that? Who does long distance for their prime sex-life years? What kind of bullshit—”

“He can’t come home!” The words were ripped out of Kelly’s chest, because Vashti didn’t know what he was dealing with—the sudden PR push about Castor Durant’s cold case, the social movement against the evils of the “liberal lifestyle,” the five-year anniversary of Castor’s death—all together in the same pot. Kelly had to smell that shit simmering every day. “He can’t! Don’t you get it? He can’t. My brother will use his presence to take his daughter back, and that’s bad fucking news. My brother’s stupid father-in-law is a god-awful human being, and he’s got connections that will fuck up Seth’s life for good if shows his face. He visits, and he’s got to stay in his apartment the whole time, because our entire neighborhood knows what he looks like, and we don’t want word to get out. So I can’t fucking leave, Vashti, and he can’t fucking come home.”

“Sowhat? You’re stuck in limbo? You don’t get a life? You go stepping and fetching whenever this guy calls your name? I don’t get it! You’re… you’re sovital, Kelly! So alive! So fierce! Don’t you deserve more than to date a ghost?”