Page 21

Chapter Twenty-one

The past few days have been absolute hell. Smoke and Ember broke up, which fucked my plans up. I’d found an apartment for Kiesha and me out at Davis Creek, and now I’m living in it with Sabrina. I can’t abandon her when she’s having my child. I’ve been avoiding Kiesha’s messages and calls. I’ve not built up the nerve to tell her about the baby. I went as far as skipping her graduation.

I don’t know how to face her and what I’ve got to say can’t happen over the phone or through a text message.

I’m barely hanging on. The only thing keeping me going is knowing that my one-year prospecting is almost up and if I don’t fuck this up, I’ll earn my cut.

Most of the club is riding out to Anarchy, California, to a rally held by Kings of Anarchy MC. I’m biding my time. Once I know that Link and Prodigy are out of the state, then I can approach Kiesha. Maybe if I explain, she’ll understand. I never meant for any of this to happen, but I have to face the consequences of my actions. I just hope it doesn’t cost me everything and then some.

I watch on as the club loads up to make their journey. I’m shocked to see Ember here and with Creed, of all people. Smoke rides up and the tension in the air is heavy between them. I figured he’d got back with Ember by now. He was ready to wife her up. I tried talking to Sabrina about it, but she got all weird when I brought Ember up.

I don’t know which way is up anymore. Sabrina has been acting strange since she told me she was pregnant. I don’t know if she knows about Kiesha and is waiting for me to confess or if she had a fight with Ember, but they aren’t speaking.

Nothing makes sense.

I see Angel climb on the back of Smoke’s bike, and that’s how I know everything is upside down. “What’s up with that?” I ask Trenton or should I say T-bird. He patched in and has his official road name now.

“Stella told me that Smoke cheated on Ember with Angel, and I guess she’s back with Creed.”

“Fucking crazy.”

“No crazier than your news. I hear you’re going to be a dad. Does this mean you made your choice between her and Kiesha?”

“Shit,” I mutter, dragging a hand down my face. T-bird doesn’t know the half of it. “Look, help me keep this quiet for a while longer, all right? I need to sort things out first.”

He gives me a curious look before shrugging. “Sure thing, man. You ought to know you can trust me.”

“Appreciate it.”

“You know I’ve got your back, but fuck me, buddy. You’ve got bigger balls than I do, Jimmy. You better handle your shit right or it’ll be hell for you.”

“I know, T,” I reply, forcing a smile onto my face that comes off more as a grimace.

The rumble of motorcycles fills the air as the group readies to leave. One by one they ride off down the road, disappearing into the distance, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The plan of confessing to Kiesha seems even more daunting now that everyone’s gone. I can’t keep putting her off.

Sabrina’s supposed to be at work. It’s now or never.

I head back inside the clubhouse, hating how eerily quiet it is with nearly everyone gone. Grabbing a bottle of liquor off the top shelf behind the bar. I go for the good stuff. There’s no one to tell me no. I need some liquid courage before I see Kiesha.

I take a couple of shots and pull out my phone. I scroll down to Kiesha’s name, my finger hovering over the call button.

“Hey,” she answers midway through the second ring.

“Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“Define okay.”

“I’ve been worried out of my mind.”

“Can we talk?”

“Jimmy, you’re scaring me.”

“I just need to see your face is all,” I lie.

“When?”

“Now. Swing by the clubhouse. No one else is here.”

“Right. The rally. Okay.”

“I’ll meet you at the gate.”

The call drops and I take a few more shots before walking back to the gate and lighting up a cigarette to wait.

Kiesha pulls up, driving a shiny cherry red Mustang. Dark circles ring her eyes, and I know they are due to me. All I do is hurt the people I’m supposed to care about. “Nice car,” I tell her as I open the gate and shut it once she pulls through. “Park by the garage.”

Once she’s out of her car, she doesn’t make a move to come inside. She leans against the driver’s side door, arms folded over her chest. “You see me.”

I nod, hating the suspicious expression she wears. “Let’s talk inside in the AC.”

“Fine.” She pushes away from her car, and I reach for her hand, feeling the bitter sting when she rejects me.

I lead her to the back booth and wait for her to slide in so I can box her in. It’s not fair, but I need her to hear me out. I’m afraid she’ll bolt before I can fully explain. I stare at her a beat before I speak, taking in all of her beauty and soaking up her sweet scent.

She rolls her eyes at me, her patience wearing thin.

“I’m sorry I went silent on you. There’s been a lot of shit the past few days that I had to handle. I’m still dealing with it.”

“What’s so important that you couldn’t let me know that you’re alive?”

“Smoke and Ember broke up, so I had to find a new place.”

“And Sabrina? Did you end it?”

“Not yet.”

“Let me up.” She pushes against me, but I don’t budge.

“Just listen. There’s more I need to tell you.”

“You’re still with her,” she says with a shake of her head. I lift my hand to brush her pink tendrils back from her face and she jerks away from me as if my touch burns her. “Don’t touch me.”

I deserve her coldness, but it still cuts me to the bone.

“I fucked up. The night of your prom. We had that fight about you going with Jonesy and I got drunk and I slept with Sabrina.”

“I’m going to be sick. You fucked her, then lied to my face. I guess it’s what I get for doing it to her. I can’t be mad at her but you. You knew that would hurt me.”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, you were. You just weren’t thinking about me. God, you are so selfish. So what? You’ve decided that you want to get back with her. Or I guess stay with her.”

“No.”

“Then what? Did she find out about us and threaten to tell me?”

“No.”

“You’ve got about five seconds before I punch you in your balls if you don’t spit it out.”

“Sabrina’s pregnant. She’s pregnant, and it’s mine.”

“Fuck you, Jimmy. Fuck you.” Kiesha slaps me and punches at me as thick tears roll down her cheeks.

I grab hold of her, clamping her arms down. “I’m sorry.”

“I never want to see you again.”

“You don’t mean that,” I murmur into her hair.

“Please let me go.”

“You’re too upset to drive.”

“Don’t tell me what I am. You’ve got no right. You can’t keep me here.”

“Just until you’re calm.”

She goes slack in my arms.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Kiesha.”

“Did she…did she move with you to your new place?”

“Yeah.”

“Does she know? About me?”

“She suspects there’s been someone.”

“Good. I hope the two of you have the life you deserve.”

“I know you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself for ever allowing myself to fall for someone as big of an asshole as my father.”

“Don’t compare me to him.”

“Why not? He was a lousy cheater, too. I’m done being the other woman.”

“I’m going to tell her.”

“When?”

“Soon. I swear.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“I’ll do it tonight.”

“Why not right now?”

“She’s at work.” It comes out as a lame excuse, but it’s true.

“I’m out of here.”

“Never in a million years would this be what I wanted. I never meant for this to happen.”

“You mean you thought you’d never get caught? Have your cake and eat it too. Play me and Sabrina.”

“That’s not what I was doing. Not intentionally.” She pushes against me, and I loosen my grip. “Please don’t go, Kie. I want to fix this.”

“There’s no fixing this. She’s having your baby and I’m what? Supposed to play step mommy or continue being your side piece.”

“You have never been my side piece.”

“Then what would you call me? I’m damn sure not the woman you live with. The one that you’re loyal to. I will never forgive you for this. You’ve lost me forever.”

“Baby.”

“Stop, Jimmy. Just stop and let me go,” she whispers, her voice full of so much pain that my heart squeezes tight in my chest and shatters.

She’s right. I royally fucked up. “I love you, Kiesha.”

“No, Jimmy. You don’t love anyone except maybe yourself.”

“Kiesha.”

“No. I need some space. I need time to process this. I need you to let me go. I’m done asking.”

“You’re right, you deserve that,” I say finally, releasing her from my hold before I slide out of the booth. She hesitates for a moment, looking at me as if she wants to say something else, but then shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, Kie.”

She shoves her palm up in my face, giving me one last hard look before walking away.