Page 12

Chapter Twelve

“How was your weekend?” I slide into the passenger side of Jimmy’s truck, noticing he has his backpack stuck in the middle of the seat, and wonder if it’s on purpose.

“Was all right.” he doesn’t even look my way as he pulls off from my house.

“Did you get the pictures I sent you of FB?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“So, what did you get into? Any craziness at the clubhouse?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.” I don’t say anything else. I wait for him to continue the conversation, only he doesn’t. He turns the radio up and ignores me completely. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning,” I tease and get no response. He doesn’t even crack the slightest semblance of a smile. I turn the volume down on his radio. “So I was wondering. Do you think... would you consider being my date at the homecoming dance?” I twist my fingers together in my lap, watching him from the corner of my eyes.

The muscle in his jaw pulses. “No. It wouldn’t be a good idea and I’m too old. Besides, I’m sure they’ll find your father before then.”

“Right.” I shrink further away, pressing my body close enough to the door that if someone opened it, I’d tumble out. “Are you mad at me or something?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“You seem different.” Cold. Like you hate me. “Distant.”

We idle at a red light, and for the first time this morning he looks at me. Our eyes lock, and I nearly crumble into a million pieces under his scrutiny. “Look, it’s not you. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” He returns his attention to the traffic light.

“Is it your girlfriend? Sabrina?” The question comes out more like an accusation.

His grip on the steering wheel tightens to the point his knuckles turn white. “Has nothing to do with her.”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business. I don’t mean to pry.”

“Don’t stress yourself. It’s nothing for you to worry about.” His tone comes across like he means that. But his rigid posture and tight face says otherwise. “I just want to focus on doing my job.” The way he says it is like a jab into my heart with a dagger.

Clue in. You’re only a job. I don’t really like you. I’m tolerating you. I love my girlfriend.

That’s my takeaway from our conversation and what plays on my mind all day at school.

At the end of the day, he’s not waiting for me outside of his truck like he was on Friday. He’s pulled up first in the pickup line, ready to go. He doesn’t talk, and he doesn’t hang around when he drops me off with my sister and Nav at their house, even though he was invited in.

But maybe he has somewhere to be. Like with his girlfriend.

“How are you really?” Kimber questions as she slices some fruit to snack on while Nav tends to the steaks he threw on the grill.

I know she means with everything going on with our father and the fact we have a little sister. “As good as I can be considering. You?”

“I don’t know. It’s weird to think that we have a sibling out there and that he’s running around town like a creep.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Thinking about our father is depressing and I’m already down in the dumps enough as it is.

“You find a date for the dance yet? Did that one guy ask?”

“No, and I don’t want to talk about boys.”

“What about your friend…Sam?”

“Sam isn’t going to the dance. They’ll be at their dad’s that weekend.”

“Bummer.” She pops a slice of melon between her lips.

Kimber has no idea. In school, she was popular and always got asked out and invited to parties. I’m an outsider. Not popular but also not a geek.

“Maybe Jimmy can take you?”

“I don’t think his girlfriend would go for that.”

“I hear she’s a real bitch.”

“Well, you saw her the other day.” I shrug.

“Hmm. Let me think.”

“Don’t say Trenton. He’s too old.”

“There’s got to be someone.”

“Trust me. There isn’t. It’s fine. I’ll go with Bethany or something.”

“You two talking about me?” Nav asks as he brings the steaks in.

“Of course.” Kimber kisses him and I gag. They are so perfect it’s disgusting. “We’re trying to find Kiesha a date for homecoming.”

“The prospect can take her.”

My stomach drops. “That’s not an option.”

The next few days go by the same. No sightings of my father. Jimmy will barely look at me. Let alone speak to me. A week ago, life was good. Not great, but I was oblivious to all the crap that has changed everything I thought I knew. Jimmy hadn’t come into my life to break my heart. I didn’t have another sister. And my father... well, he was still a piece of shit but not trying to destroy our lives.

Now, Jimmy practically hates me. Jonesy is a douche with a kid he doesn’t take care of. The only good thing to happen is Mom and Prodigy are a thing. I’d go through this all over again for her to get her happy ending.

Only today I’m in my own personal form of hell. Jimmy is at my house with me until my mom and Prodigy get here. He’s standing by the front door as if he’s ready to bolt at the first opportunity that arises.

“I can’t take this,” I shout and throw my book at him. It drops at his feet with a thud.

He gapes at me with wide eyes. “What the fuck? Did you throw your book at me?”

“At least it got your attention.” Tears well in the creases of my eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.

“Kiesha. Trust me. This is for the best. We were growing too close. Too comfortable. I can’t fuck up with the club.”

“Or your girlfriend,” I snap.

“You’re right. I should never have kissed you. I’m with Sabrina. It wasn’t fair to anyone. I got caught up in the lie.”

“So what? You didn’t want to kiss me? None of it was real?”

“That’s the problem. It was too damn real. And now I’ve hurt two people I care about. The last thing I want is to hurt you.”

“Then why are you? You won’t look at me. You won’t talk to me. Is there something wrong with me? My father never wanted me. No one ever chooses me.” The tears break free, and I don’t want him to see me cry. I dash to my room and slam the door shut. I collapse on the center of my bed and bury my face in my pillow.

There’s a gentle knock at my door. “Kiesha,” he croaks my name, sounding defeated.

“Go away. Maybe if you do, my father will come and put me out of my misery.”

The door swings open. Jimmy’s tortured gaze meets mine. “Don’t say shit like that. Don’t ever wish for something like that. You hear me?”

I look away from him. “Everyone’s life would be better if I didn’t exist. Mom wouldn’t have to worry about me. You wouldn’t have to watch over me. My father could go back to pretending I was never born.”

“My life wouldn’t be better without you.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“I can’t look at you because when I do, all I want is to kiss you.”

“Why is that wrong?”

“Because I’m with Sabrina. Because you’re in high school. Because your uncle will kill me. I can give you a million reasons, Kiesha.”

“What about what I want? Doesn’t my feelings matter?”

“That’s why I’ve got to put space between us. I’m only going to hurt you.”

“Too late for that. You’re breaking my heart.”

“I can’t protect you like this.”

“Then don’t. You’re free to go. I’m eighteen. Technically, I’m an adult. I don’t need you to babysit me. But that’s right. You’re scared the club will reject you.”

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Lash out at me because you’re pissed.”

“Get out of my room.”

“I don’t want things to be like this between us.”

“If you were with me, it’d be so easy. I’d never ask you to choose.”

He rubs the back of his neck. His mouth opens but snaps shut at the sound of car doors closing.

“Better run and see who it is. Maybe it’s your girlfriend.”

“Don’t be a brat,” he says softly and leaves.

A second later, I overhear my mom asking where I am and Jimmy telling her I’m in my room. He reappears at my door. “Your mom is home and there’s someone she wants you to meet.”

“Tell her I’ll be there in a minute.” I sniffle and wipe the dampness from around my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt.

In the living room, there’s a little girl sitting on the couch. Oh my God. My little sister. Mom was right. She looks like someone took one of my baby pictures and cloned me.

Mom motions me into the kitchen before I get to say hello. Jimmy is crouched to her level, squatting in front of her, asking her who her favorite princess is.

“Hey. Have you been crying?”

“No.” I fake a smile. “I fell asleep. Jimmy just woke me up.”

“You sure?”

“Yup. Promise,” I lie. There’s no way I’m telling her about the drama with Jimmy. She’s obviously dealing with enough as it is.

“I’m sorry to spring this on you like this, but Marie is missing, and I didn’t know what else to do. The club’s searching for her and your father. It’s possible they’ve taken off, but I don’t think Marie would leave her behind.”

“So her mom is just gone?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Can you and Jimmy entertain her while I make some calls? Your sister and Nav are swinging by in a bit with dinner.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

I can’t believe my little sister is here. Crying over a boy isn’t exactly how I pictured meeting her, but here I am.

“Pick a color.” I line up my array of nail polish for Kieleigh to choose from.

I’ve spent the past hour letting her play in my makeup and braiding her hair. Now it’s Jimmy’s turn to be a customer in our beauty salon.

His face goes ashen when she points to the hot pink shade with glitter.

“Don’t worry. I have polish remover.” I smirk at him. “Lay your hands flat on the table, Sir.” I tap the paper towels Mom insisted we put down on the coffee table, so we don’t get any polish on the wood.

“I think it’d go better on my toes.”

“Ew. We don’t want to see your crusty toes.” I giggle and Kieleigh makes a disgusted expression.

“My toes aren’t crusty. See.” He pulls his socks off and wiggles his toes at us.

I pinch my nose and wave my free hand through the air, implying his feet stink.

“Boys are gross. Especially ones named Jimmy,” I tell her, and he frowns.

“Are you going to paint my nails or what?”