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Chapter Sixteen

Jimmy swallows hard and avoids my gaze.

“You should get some sleep.”

“So you can lecture me about Jonesy, but we can’t talk about you and Sabrina?”

“That’s different.”

“You’re using her the same as I was using him. Just in different ways. But the reasons are the same. Because we can’t be together.”

“What if there was a way for us to be together?” His eyes are fixed on me now, intense and brooding.

“What are you saying?”

“You know your uncle is scary as fuck, right?”

“Link’s a teddy bear.”

“To you. You’re his niece. He’s not going to kick your ass if you mess up.”

“Did he say something to you?”

“Let’s just say he warned me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Told me not to mess with you if I want to earn my cut.”

“He doesn’t get to make that call.”

“He’s got pull and I can’t fuck this up. Making the cut means everything to me, but if we were careful. If I stayed with Sabrina until you graduate, and I get my patch.”

“Would Sabrina agree to be with you for show?” I stare him wondering what she would get out of it and I realize. “You’re not going to tell her.” I scoot away from him. “Wow. I don’t…”

“I know how it sounds, but think about it. Really think about it.”

“Would you be with both of us?”

“In a sense.”

“And I’d what? Be your piece on the side? Sneaking around. Lying to everyone?”

“Kiesha, I’m not asking you to be some side piece. Once Sabrina is out of the picture and I’ve got my patch, it would just be us. I promise.”

“And Sabrina?”

“She doesn’t need to know until then. I fell into something with her because it was easy and safe. Deep down she’s using me, too. I got her out of a bad home life. I’m not saying it justifies lying to her, but…”

“I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation,” I say, my voice shaky, my stomach twisted in knots. “It’s crazy.”

“Is it?” he asks quietly.

The silence between us grows heavy as I wrestle with my thoughts. The muted picture on the screen freezes on a woman screaming for her life, and I can’t help but think about Jimmy’s girlfriend and her role in this scheme. “It’s unfair to her,” I say, grappling with the twisted logic of his proposal. In theory, yeah. It sounds simple enough, but Sabrina is a real person with real feelings.

“And it’s fair to us that we can’t simply be together?” He counters without missing a beat. His dark eyes, sincere and pleading, bore into mine.

“Is this really our only option?” I could try talking to Link, but I remember how he handled shit when he found out about my sister and Nav. That resulted in a brutal ass kicking.

“I wish it weren’t.” He sighs deeply. “But this is the world we’re in, Kiesha. There are rules. A code. Once I’ve got my cut and you’re out of school, I can do this shit right.”

“And if I say no, would you still stay with her knowing you want to be with me?”

“I’d cut her loose.”

“So why not break up with her now?”

“The second Link suspects we’re together. It’s game over. This buys us time.”

“But what if Sabrina finds out?” I ask. “What if she gets suspicious?”

“We’ll deal with that if it happens. Until then, we play it cool.”

I look at him, my heart weighted heavy in my chest. A part of me wants to say yes. To grab on to this sliver of a chance to be with him. But another part of me is terrified of the mess we could make. There’s a lot at risk. This is someone’s life and emotions we’re playing with as well as our own.

“You’re willing to risk everything for us?”

Jimmy grabs my hand. “I’d do anything for you, Kiesha,” he says softly, his heated eyes locked on mine. There’s a passionate intensity in his gaze that makes my breath hitch and my skin tingle.

When he looks at me, it’s hard to resist him.

Am I really going to agree to this? As I stare into his eyes, deep down I know the space between us is filled with beautiful lies. We’re going to destroy everything we touch, including each other.

“I’ll be your secret.”

His lips tip into a smile that repairs the fractures of my heart and holds the power to destroy it ten times over. “I promise the reward of what we can be will be worth all the pain and the pleasure.” His lips meet mine, greedy and eager to claim me.

Will I still be happy come tomorrow when I have to say goodbye and return him to her? Can I look at myself in the mirror knowing I’m living a lie? If I want to be with Jimmy, I’ll have to make my peace with it. If things were different, we wouldn’t have to go to such lengths to conceal our relationship.

“And Trenton will keep our secret?”

“He won’t tell. Don’t worry.” Jimmy kisses me deeper and I close my eyes, losing myself to him.

His kisses are sweet, holding so many promises. The key to my happiness. I’ll walk through any hell for this. For him.

“You should get some sleep. It’s getting late.”

“I don’t want to go to sleep. That means tonight has to end.” I take his hand in mine and lead him down the hallway to Trenton’s bedroom.

Jimmy stops just inside the room. “Goodnight, brat.” His hot breath caresses my ear.

“Come, lie with me. Until I fall asleep.”

“We both know if I crawl into that bed with you that neither of us is sleeping.”

“So let’s not sleep together. We don’t know when we will have another night together.”

“Kiesha.” The way he says my name is laced with pain and desire.

“Show me you’re not just fucking around. That you mean it when you say we’re going to be together.”

“I meant every word. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you believe me.” His lips find my neck igniting a spark that lights me up all over.

Here in the dark, it’s easy to pretend that I don’t have to share him. That tomorrow night when he lays his head down, it won’t be next to her. At least I know he’ll be thinking of me. One step, one day closer to being with me for real. No secrets. No lies.

Until then, we’ll have tonight.

Two fast beating hearts and heavy breaths.

There are a hundred reasons why this is wrong but a million more why it’s oh so right. I yank my tee over my head, dropping it to the floor. We strip down to nothing. Bare to each other. And when he lays down next to me, he’s all mine.

Only mine as he peppers kisses down the column of my throat. Every flick of his tongue worshipping the taste of my skin. If this is what being bad feels like, then I never want to be right. I want to be with him so bad I could cry. He goes still and I sense his eyes on mine.

“I want you to be sure, Kiesha. That being with me. Going through with this plan is what you want.”

I surrender my innocence and my heart in this beautiful war that’s waging between us. “You’re all I want,” I assure him. “All I need. I want to be with you.”

With my words, he returns his lavish affection, touching and tasting me in places no one has ever dared. My heart beats wildly against my chest like the wings of a hummingbird as his rough hands roam over my body. Artfully, like my body is his canvas, and he’s painting a masterpiece. Capturing one of my nipples with his mouth, he takes me higher.

“Kiesha,” he murmurs against the taut yet sensitive skin, his voice husky with his desire. “You have no idea how much I want you.”

I scratch my nails down the expanse of his muscular back. “I think I do.” I give his backside a gentle squeeze, becoming less shy with every passing second.

“I need inside you,” he whispers into the crook of my neck, the vibration of his voice sending me into a maddening spiral of pleasure. “Fuck, I want to feel you, baby.”

He thrust a finger into the heart of my fire, the first to ever do so. I let out a surprised cry at the welcomed intrusion.

“Tight. Wet. Fucking beautiful.” He sears me with the intensity of his gaze as he watches the waves of pleasure roll over me as I pant beneath him.

“You should know,” I whisper, pressing my fingers to his lips to get his attention. “I’ve never…you’re the first.”

“I promise I’m going to make it good for you, but it will hurt.”

“I know, but with you, I know it will be a beautiful ache.”

His lips tip into a goofy yet sexy smirk. “Everything with you is beautiful, gorgeous.” He kisses me and the warming sensation building in my lower bellow intensifies into a raging inferno.

Jimmy takes his time making sure I know with every lingering touch he’s utterly and completely devoted to me. We have the whole awkward are you on the pill and condom conversation. He fumbles with the condom between my giggles. “You ready?” He looms over my body, the tip of his cock pressed at my slick entrance. “I’ll go slow.” He sweeps my hair from my face, his lips brush against mine and he pushes forward, inch by painful inch.

Tears burn at the creases of my eyes.

“Are you okay?”

I bite my lip and nod. If this were with anyone else, I’d be embarrassed by crying, but not with him. With Jimmy I’m safe. The heat of his body presses into mine as he begins to move. It’s uncomfortable at first. The full sensation throbbing between my legs, but the more he moves his hips the better it gets, and I relax.

Tonight started as one of the worst and strangest nights of my life, but has evolved into a dream come true. Nothing or no one will come between us.

Jimmy is mine.

I don’t care what claim Sabrina thinks she has on him.

She might have been his first, but tonight he’s all mine.

Hips rubbing against mine, he proves it with each thrust that moves in time with the beat of my heart. His lips glide along my jaw and his hand are everywhere as are mine. We explore one another and getting lost in the moment. Lost in each other.

I never want this night to end. Tangled sheets and limbs, mingled breaths, we roll from missionary position to my being on top. I cover my chest, not knowing where to put my hands.

“Don’t be shy, brat. I want to look at you.” Gently, he tugs on my wrists, lips twitching into an amused smile. “Never hide from me. Not from anyone. You’re beautiful, but especially in here.” He taps his finger over my heart.

My face reddens and I’m grateful he can’t see me blushing in the dark. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“Only stating facts.” His gaze lingers on my lips, then lowers to my breasts as he scoots up and back against the headboard, still inside me. “That’s better,” he mutters, reclaiming my lips and guiding my hips. I grind against him as he kisses me soft and sweet, teasing either of my nipples between his rough fingers. My breathing grows erratic and that inferno in my belly explodes.

“Even prettier when you come.”

I’m breathless and completely spent, but Jimmy isn’t through proving how deep his love runs.

He’s got me laid back, leg spread, kissing my most intimate spots. Said he needs to taste me. I grip the sheets between my fingers as he licks, kisses, and tastes. If tomorrow never comes, I’d happily die in this position. He continues to work his magic as I come completely undone.

I’m hot, sticky, and wet. Fevered by his every kiss. Stars dance behind my eyes and I’m sure I’m going to combust into nothingness.