Page 4

Chapter four

No where but up

Lorilei

A feeling of hopelessness settles over me. I didn’t realize how much I’ve counted on Sophia to be the high point of my days.

Now, without classes, a job, or her to go over my options with, it’s hard not to get frustrated.

I’ve always been one of those who knew where I was going and exactly how to get there.

Since Dad died when I was so young, Mom has drifted from man to man, hoping one day they’d save her. She rarely accepted my achievements as my own, so it’s driven me to want to be as independent as possible.

And I’m failing at it.

But, what the hell do I do?

Calling my mother is at the very bottom of my list of options, but I’m running out of money. Maybe I should just go back and regroup until fall semester starts.

“Hey, Mom.” God, I can’t believe I’m doing this.

“Hi, honey. How’s school going?” She sounds breathless.

“Fine. Semester is almost over. I was—” The words lodge in my throat.

“Oh, that’s great. I’m happy to hear that.” She jumps in before I have a chance to continue. “Did I tell you I’m selling the house?” Her cheery voice makes my teeth clench as the words sink in.

“What? Why?” My head spins trying to understand what she’s doing. I grew up there. My dad bought it. It’s the last place with the memories of him.

“Remember Roger? We’re moving to the Maldives!” she squeals. Like a damn little girl.

Digging my fingernails into my knee, I do my best to keep my tone level. “What brought this on?”

I knew reaching out to her would be a mistake. But, I never expected this.

“Lori, you’re doing so well on your own, you don’t need me to be your net any longer. I’m very proud of how strong you are! Once we get settled, I’ll send you a video of our new cabana. I have to run, love you!” Her giggle is masked by a deeper voice that I can’t quite make out, and ends abruptly when she ends the call.

Gross.

“Love you, too. Bye, Mom,” I say to the blank screen. My eyes hurt from rolling them; that was worse than a waste of time.

I feel even more sorry for myself.

No. That is bullshit. I need to do something about this. Maybe it’s exactly the kick in the butt I deserve. I don’t have anyone else to rely on but myself. And that should be enough.

Like an answer to my silent question, a bell goes off.

Was that my phone dinging?

Sophia: I have something in the works for you.

Me: What does that mean?

Sophia: A job maybe? If you’re interested?

I drop my hands into my lap. She’s been moved from the hospital out to her home.

What could she have possibly lined up when she just had a major accident?

Me: Is it at the clinic? I already applied. They said they found someone for that position already. Gosh, I’d scrub toilets if that’s what it takes…

She doesn’t reply back.

Abandoning that tiny glimmer of hope, I start scrolling local postings in the area.

I couldn’t even get a spot at the coffee shop. They needed someone with barista experience.

How do you get that without being one?

My only glimmer is the physical therapy center. But they said that they have a backlist, and it’d likely be months until a position becomes open that I could intern for.

In the meantime, I’m screwed.

Sophia: Living with me and helping around the house. Dad said he’d pay well. But, there may be some toilets…

Should I even ask how much? Would I sound desperate if I don’t?

Shit. Who am I kidding? I’m out of options.

The dorm payment is due. My funding fell through. I can’t find a job.

It’s my best option. Also, my only one.

But, I will get to see her.

Me: When do I start?

Sophia: Get your butt here!

My manic laugh sounds funny in the silent room.

When she texts me the directions, the GPS says four hours. I didn’t expect that. She’s so far away from everything I know. The dot on the map isn’t even attached to a road. Just a big patch of green in the middle of nowhere.

“Don’t get picky. The boonies are better than a dumpster.” I can’t help it if it makes me a little nervous to be so far away from, well, anything.

It might not be a tiny cabin. Sophia has mentioned that they own thousands of head of cattle and have sprawling acreage.

I just have no idea what that means.

How many cows can fit in an acre? I guess I’m going to find out.

Did I take a wrong turn? My phone keeps dropping service. I finally had to turn it off because I got tired of it saying “searching for satellites” over and over.

It’s just one long gravel road that’s lasting forever.

I swear my kidneys are going to start bleeding from the potholes.

Knowing I had guidance to get on this goat trail only relieves point zero two percent of my anxiety.

“About ten miles,” is what Sophia had told me.

That had to be thirty ago.

Maybe I need to find a spot to turn around. A wide area ahead looks like the best choice.

Wait. She did say there’d be a big wooden gate.

I didn’t expect it to have literal trees embedded in the ground holding a huge cross log with a rusted metal sign.

Black Gulch Ranch

Yes! This is it!

My god. There hasn’t been another house for an hour.

How can Sophia live out here? This is so remote. No coffee shops, or fast food places. I thought she lived on those?

Heavy fence frames the driveway. They’re so thick, it’s hard to see past except little snippets of the fields behind them. But, they extend out into the trees without sight of an edge.

At least this is smoother. My poor car.

The beams transition to steel poles lining my travels.

“A cow!” There’s no one with me to scream to. That’s okay. “And there’s a baby!”

Adrenaline rushes through me. It’s only at the rodeo and the fairs I’ve seen them. Will I get a chance to get closer?

I want to pet a calf so badly.

Buildings! Civilization! Well, in the form of barns, shelters and rows of what I think are mobile homes and campers.

Are those employees? Is this a whole village?

When I pull up to the first actual residence looking building, I let my little Honda roll to a stop. Is this the right place? Sophia called it the “big house,” but this doesn’t look very large.

There’s a horse walking towards me, accompanied by a blue heeler trotting alongside.

A man wearing a black cowboy hat sits on top and pauses next to my window.

All I can see is legs. The deep brown ones of the animal’s, and jeans ending in a pair of worn boots in the stirrups.

I guess I’m supposed to open my window.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” His deep voice works its way through the crack.

“Um, I’m looking for Sophia Mccullough? Am I in the right place?” I lower the glass enough I can duck my head and see him. It’s weird talking to a knee.

“The boss’s house is just past that corner.” He gestures down the lane where I haven’t gone. “You won’t be able to miss it. It’s the end of the road.” His tattooed hand reaches and tips his broad brim before he touches the flank with his heel and they move away.

“Thank you?” My half-yell comes out as a croak.

I feel like I’m in a different universe.

Pulling forward, new lines of fencing appear to make huge corrals.

And there’re cows. So. Many.

They are like a giant black blob stretching in every direction within the pens.

I can see how Sophia doesn’t get excited about them at the rodeo like I was.

Trucks and trailers are being loaded using some sort of raised walkway.

I’ve seen those in fields before. I never knew what they were for.

Well, I learned something different.

Who am I kidding? This is all brand spanking new to me.

And loud. I didn’t know cattle made that much noise.

A sprawling building appears with a backdrop of snow covered mountain peaks. Heavy logs with broad wooden steps. It must be the main house. I can see why. It dominates the view. Wide wings sprawl in either direction from the vaulted entry.

“Holy crap.” It’s like the ski lodge I stayed at with my parents in Provo. That place held a hundred people though.

Sophia has told me it’s just her brother and her dad who live here.

They each get their own time zone in that place.

I was worried I’d be underfoot. All of those animals in the yard could fit in there, I think.

Sophia’s Subaru is parked on the side, with a handful of other vehicles, so I pull in.

As the engine dies, I just stare at the massive timbers in front of me.

I can’t even fathom trees that big, much less how they built something with them.

Grabbing my phone, I think I can come back for the rest of my bags later. I just want to figure out where I’ll be staying before dragging everything in.

My knuckles barely make a sound when I knock. How thick is that door?

When it opens, I’m greeted by a lanky guy wearing a flannel and jeans who looks exactly like Sophia. Same age? His baseball hat is set back on his head, and his wide grin is inviting.

“You must be Lori. Soph told me you’re coming. Boy, am I glad you’re here.” He steps back and gestures with a broad sweep of his arm inward. “I’m Sawyer, her brother.” “Hi. Yes, thank you.” I know she said they were twins, but it’s hard to get past seeing her eyes and face with short hair and a boyish attempt of scruff on his chin.

“‘Her highness’ is this way.” He steps in front and leads me through a vast open living room area with a high vaulted ceiling.

Ancient oak flooring clicks beneath my heels as I follow him down a wide hall to a door adorned in pink flowers.

He raps on a faded paper sign with her name misspelled in crayon. “Your friend is here.” His voice cracks slightly as he yells.

“Lori!” Her call is just as loud before her brother pushes open her room.

I haven't seen her since her third day in the hospital. She said I had to sneak in since her dad was being a stickler about visitors.

Which I totally understand.

Running to her side, I do my best to give her a hug without jostling her.

“Oh, your cheeks have some color since the last time I saw you! Are you feeling any better?” I guess it has been almost a week. When I tried to visit, there was a strict “family only” policy in place.

“Yea, a little.” She pushes herself up in her bed, careful not to move her leg propped on several heavy pillows. “I wish my ribs didn’t hurt so badly, but the worst part is being stuck here.”

Sawyer clears his throat behind me. “And maybe the ‘needing help in the bathroom’ part.”

Sophia’s blue eyes narrow as she scowls at him. “I’m not a sack of potatoes, Sawyer. You can’t just throw me around.” Her features soften as she turns back to me. “Which is exactly why I’m glad you’re here.”

“Thanks for rescuing me. It’s nice to meet you, Lori.” Sawyer grabs the bill of his hat and raises it off of his head, showing off his flattened hair beneath it.

“Wait, Sawyer. Can you help Lori with her bags and show her the room?” Sophia asks him before he leaves.

“Sure.” His smile spreads as he leads me back into the hall. “It’s sure nice you’re staying. Dad said he had a bugger of a time getting someone to want to come this far out.”

The smell of the cows is heavy in the afternoon air. I didn’t notice it before, but the wind seems to have shifts to blow across the stockyards towards the house.

I can feel my nose wrinkle.

Sawyer watches me as I hand him the first of my luggage. “Don’t worry, you get used to it. It smells like money. That’s what Grandpa used to say.”

He deftly carries my heavy bags up the steps without faltering.

The first glance at the room is the same rustic warmth that the rest of what I’ve seen exudes. A log framed bed covered by a thick green comforter is a welcome sight.

And to think I was worried that my thin blanket would be all that I’d have to use. This far up into the mountains, I bet it gets cold at night. Especially in May.

“You have your own bathroom, so you don’t have to worry about me catching you in the shower.” Sawyer’s tan face flushes red. “I mean, I’m sorry.” He unceremoniously drops my duffle and nearly runs into the frame in his hurry to leave.

“I’ll get the rest of your stuff,” he yells from the hall.

Poor boy. He looked like he was going to puke.

I pick up my garment bag and spread it out on the bed. At least there’s a big dresser and a closet that smells of cedar.

This room is bigger than my whole dorm, and that included a kitchen and a roommate. And I’m actually going to get paid to stay here.

It’ll be fun to hang out with Sophia for a while. If nothing else, it will help take some of the stress off temporarily while I wait on some of the other jobs to open up.

Interviews will be fun with trying to commute four hours.

I wonder if there’s wifi here since my phone lost service miles down the road?

Whew! There’s a signal.

A knot forms in my stomach. All I was thinking about is that I needed to get access so I could call and say I made it safely.

But, who? My mom doesn’t care. She’s off on her own adventures.

Sophia is in the next room.

That’s it. Years at that school, and she’s my only friend. Maybe I’ve been too focused on grades.

Only one more semester though.

I knock lightly on Sophia’s door. “Can I come in?”

“Yes! Please!” Her blue eyes shine over her smile. “You don’t have to ask. There’s no way I’ll be indecent without you knowing it.” She gives a snort laugh at the end. “God, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is getting my dad or brother to help me to the bathroom? I haven’t had a shower since the hospital.”

Sounds like my training may come in handy. I’ve already done a semester on moving bedbound patients and lifting techniques.

Who knew I’d be using it on my best friend.