Page 11

Chapter eleven

Melded and remade from the ministrations of your attention

Mason

My window is filmy with the dusky light of morning.

Fuck. It’s hard to roll out of bed with a hard on.

It’s been like a kickstand since two days ago when she landed on me in the round pen.

Carolyn’s blue eyes smile at me from the nightstand as I tuck my cock into the waist of my boxers.

“What the hell do I do?” I ask her framed picture.

My wife stares back.

Why do I feel like shit for wanting someone?

Because Lori’s almost twenty years younger than me, that’s why. And, if the truth is told, I still miss Carolyn.

The grief I felt eroded me for years until I was a hollow shell going through the motions of being a father.

There are gaps in my memories of my children growing because I was so consumed with loss. They were even our miracle babies. Carolyn struggled with getting pregnant, so when the day came that the twins were born, it was the best moment of our lives.

And I squandered that when she died.

I pawned them off on anyone who would watch them. Summers at their grandparent’s place in Virginia.

Holidays at my folk’s in Oregon.

I think Dixon was more of a dad to them than I was for a while.

Ford even pitched in.

Shit. I couldn’t have done it without them. I was so busy falling into my work on the ranch, I think I forgot how to live and how important the little stuff is.

The clean smell is the first thing I notice when I push into the bathroom.

Lori was here. In my room.

God, that makes my balls ache. She was next to my bed.

Close enough I could have reached out and pulled her in if I was in it.

When I flick on the light to the shower, something yellow stands out against the glass.

What the heck?

A bright sticky note with a smiley face on it.

I catch a glimpse of my own stupid grin in the mirror.

Letting my underwear drop to the gleaming linoleum, I step into the hot stream of water and look at the backside of the paper.

Fuck. She was right here. Her hand was maybe where mine rests now against the cold tile.

She was probably bent over, her tight ass in the air while she followed the seam of the wall.

My palm moves over my bare belly and strokes the firm length of my cock.

I’d make her grab that rail, so she could look back at me with those green eyes, while I plunge myself into her.

Tighter, I squeeze my shaft as my arm moves faster, pumping into her in my head.

She’d throw her head back in a scream when she comes so I can knot my fingers in her hair and pull her close, letting my mouth cover hers when I join her.

God damn.

My nuts seize with spurts of release and my legs shake with the shivers that follow.

This is a dangerous fantasy.

I can’t let it happen. Lori wouldn’t want an old man like me.

Shit, I have a gray hair over my dick. What would a girl her age want with that?

With heavy limbs, I clean myself up and step out onto a towel.

I think I’ll leave the smiley face. It might be the closest I get to having her with me naked.

The tantalizing smell of bacon hits me when I step out of my room. A full platter, with eggs and toast piled high, sits on the end of the counter.

Sawyer’s already beat me. He’s halfway through his breakfast and slipping Caesar a bit of egg when I sit down at the table across from him.

“Can I take some of this with me tonight?” he asks with his mouth half full.

“I don’t see why not.” It’s cooked perfectly. Crispy, but not burnt. “It looks like she made enough for a small army.”

Sawyer gives me a broad grin. “Or just me.” He finishes the last of his coffee and presses the rest of his food between two pieces of bread before carrying his dish to the kitchen.

He folds his lean frame onto the bench by the entrance and pulls on his boots. “I’m heading to Scotty’s tonight. We’re going to do some split screen practice for next weekend’s tournament.”

I wish he was as focused on the ranch as he is his video games.

Well, maybe not. There are other things in life.

If I hadn’t pushed him to spend his time with them instead of me, he’d have taken more of an interest in it.

There’re a lot of do-overs I’d choose if I could.

The front door slams shut behind Sawyer just as Sophia’s opens.

I can barely see Lori’s flaxen hair over the pile of bedding she has bundled in her arms.

“‘Morning.” Raising my cup, I give her a little smile as she turns down the hall.

She startles and looks over the sheets.

“Good morning, sir.” Her lower lip threads between her teeth before she hurries away from me.

Watching her ass clench in her jeans, it’s hard to not think about her bent over in the shower with me.

Fuck, I’m going to have to jack off again to a dream.

But, the thought of it makes my hands tingle wanting to feel her.

I’m sliding my plate into the sink when Lori comes back from the laundry.

“How’s Sophia today?” A twinge of guilt ripples through me that I haven’t checked on her yet.

Lori purses her lips and pulls them sideways. “Okay. Changing her bedding kicked her butt, so she’s sleeping again.”

She slips past me and starts loading the dishwasher with the pots and pans she cooked with.

I lean against the door, nerves wrapping my guts.

“So, I know you tackled the worst room in the house yesterday…” Why do I feel shy?

Lori looks up, her green eyes twinkling. “Oh, you mean Sawyer’s bathroom?” She acts like she’s trying not to giggle at her own joke.

It’s hard not to laugh. “Yea, that’s probably the worst in the place. I’d say you earned some sort of prize.”

Red blazes up the hollow of her throat and envelops her cheeks.

I’m getting addicted to that glow.

“What did I win?” A smile dances at the edge of her full mouth.

The little hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention, so I prop my elbow on the door frame and rub my palm over them. “Well, I suppose another riding lesson if you want?”

My day is fairly free. With Sophia sleeping, it means Lori should be free, too.

“Oh, I like that reward.” Her lips make a perfect circle.

She shouldn’t do that to me.

It makes it difficult to walk.

“I’ll go get Hank ready.” Lingering for just a second gives me a glimpse of the white lacy edge of her bra when she bends to drop a handful of silverware into the dishwasher.

Worth it.

I think the horse knows I’m antsy. He prances like a show pony as I lead him out to the round pen.

“Hi, big boy.” Lori holds up her arms and wiggles her fingers.

My dick springs to attention, but she reaches for Hank’s nose and leans in to push her forehead against him.

Of course.

Damn, I need to cool off.

Holding his reins, I watch as she moves into the right position, lifting her knee to tuck her toe in the stirrup.

God, I love how she stretches herself.

She bounces, trying to pull up onto the saddle.

Then, again.

On her third attempt, I lean forward and cup her ass at the top of her thigh to give her a boost to get her leg over.

“Sorry.” My hand burns where I touched her.

“It’s okay. I needed it.” She gathers the leads and moves Hank out into the pen away from me.

I’m an idiot. It was an instinctive reaction I should have fought.

But, do I regret it? No.

Lori moves with more confidence today, turning, stopping, and even having Hank back up.

Color me impressed.

“So. Is this a thing?” Ford drapes his arms through the gap in the fence just behind me.

“What?” I really hope he isn’t about to say what I think he is.

His gray eyes narrow as he points between my chest and her at the far side of the corral.

“Jesus, Ford. She’s almost half my age.” I was afraid he’d be the one to catch on.

“Exactly how many of Sophia’s friends have you taught to ride before her?” He doesn’t look at me, but watches Lori.

“None.” I admit it. I’m bribing her to get closer.

I’m surprised when he claps me on the shoulder. “You deserve to be happy, Mason. It’s about damn time.”

He’s already walking away, but with a smile, I flip my middle finger up at his back, anyway.

At least I know he won’t say anything.