Page 9

NINE

SCAREDY CAT

Theo

“You going back?” Robbie asked, leaning against the doorframe of my room at Haven City.

I hadn’t even heard him walk in, and judging by the unimpressed look on his face, he knew I was stalling.

All I could manage was a noncommittal grunt, so he stepped inside and sat down on one of the extra stools near the door.

“Look, you know I would let you stay with me if I had the room,” he said, and I quickly waved him off.

I didn’t want him to feel bad about anything. It was my fault I was stuck in the stupid situation I was in, and I knew Robbie would help if he could. It wasn’t his fault that I couldn’t keep my hands to myself.

“I know, and I appreciate that. I just need to get my head straight.”

The disbelieving look crossed his face once again, and I pretended like I didn’t notice.

I liked to think that if I hadn’t seen those texts between Caroline and Natalie that I wouldn’t have done what I did. But it was pointless to lie to myself. Reading those texts was just the push I needed to disregard every reason why I knew I shouldn’t touch her.

And then when I came downstairs to find her on the counter, her legs swinging as she sucked ice cream off the spoon the way I imagined her sucking my cock, I snapped. I thought I would have had more self-control than that, but it turns out I didn’t.

Unless she’d told me to stop, I wasn’t going to. In that moment, touching her and feeling her come apart under my fingers was my only purpose.

And it’d been better than I could’ve dreamed. Each of her panted breaths and needy moans replayed in my head on a constant loop. As did the way she blossomed under my attention and humiliation. That turned her on. Laying her soul bare, she couldn’t hide anything from me.

I had her close to falling apart before I even touched her. And that type of power over someone’s body was addictive. She was addictive.

And therein was the issue: I could not be addicted to her.

“You want to tell me exactly what happened to get your head all out of whack? Make you come runnin’ to my place late at night?” Robbie questioned. It was the same question he’d been asking me since I showed up on his doorstep at one in the morning two days ago.

The second I heard Natalie’s bedroom door shut, I was out of the house. I was bound to seek her out if I stayed there for another second, especially with the smell of her still lingering on my fingers.

I hadn’t confided in Robbie before because I was still trying to figure out how everything escalated to this point. And he’d given me the space to process it.

Sighing, I leaned my elbows on my knees and let my head fall into my hands.

“Is it your mom?”

“No,” I said instantly through clenched teeth.

Robbie raised his hands in surrender and pursed his lips. Not sure why he even brought her up, but I appreciated that he quickly changed topics. The last thing I ever wanted to do was think about my mother, let alone talk about her.

“Did you fuck her?” he asked, and my head snapped up. Somehow, I managed a hollow chuckle.

Confusion, irritation, desire, and a whole host of other emotions I couldn’t quite identify lanced through me at the reminder. It was one of two women—Robbie was smart enough and knew me well enough to figure that much.

“No, but I might as well have,” I finally confessed. I didn’t look at him, but I felt his disappointing gaze land on me.

He was quiet for a minute while I stared at the tiled floor beneath my boots.

“I knew you’d do something stupid,” he murmured, and I cringed at the honesty of his statement. Stupid was an understatement. “And you’re confused because she’s your best friend’s mom.”

I groaned at the reminder and sat back. Thankfully Robbie didn’t look as disappointed as I thought he would. Concerned was probably a better word to describe his expression.

“Thanks for the reminder,” I chided, and he chuckled.

“Look, I’m not going to pretend like I haven’t done my fair share of shit I regretted, but beating yourself up about it isn’t going to help.”

But that was the thing…I didn’t regret it. I wish I did because then maybe that would keep me from wanting to do it again.

I did, however, regret having to keep a huge secret from my best friend. And that’s the thought that kept me up the past two nights. If they weren’t related, I would have been inside her so many times by now that I would’ve imprinted myself on her forever. She would crave me like I crave her. And who the hell was I kidding? That thought scared me, too.

“Ahh, I see,” Robbie mused, drawing me from my thoughts before I was able to go deeper down the Natalie-sized rabbit hole. He laughed to himself. “You don’t regret doing it, and you want to do it again.”

I met his amused expression with one that hopefully conveyed my annoyance. All he did was chuckle again.

“Interesting…and I bet you’re concerned not only about how it might impact your living situation but also your friendship with Ryder.”

“Enough,” I managed to ground out through clenched teeth.

“Okay, but you sure you don’t want my advice? Would you prefer we skip that part today?”

Robbie was the only father figure I’d had in the past several years. I appreciated him and what he’d done for me more than words could describe. I’d forever be indebted to him for taking me in and giving me something to live for when I didn’t really care if I took another breath.

But even so, I still hated the way he read me like a damn book.

I scrubbed a hand through my unruly, curly hair and considered him. He took my silence as his cue to continue.

“Don’t fuck her just because you want to get your dick wet.”

“Seriously, Robbie?” I questioned derisively at his crude words. Standing and pacing to the other side of the room, I pretended to busy myself with something else. I’d already reorganized everything three times, and the place had never been cleaner. That’s what happened when I was avoiding going back to Natalie’s house or the glaring reality of what a clusterfuck my life had come to.

I grabbed a few paper towels, the spray cleaner, and started cleaning the same spot I’d cleaned only minutes earlier. Until I caught a flash of pink out of the corner of my eye and tried not to flinch.

I needed to get rid of that goddamn keychain. Why I hadn’t already, I honestly didn’t know. I still needed the keys because I had to go back eventually—I’d only thrown enough clothes in my duffel for a night or two—but the keychain itself wasn’t necessary anymore.

“Hey, now, I wasn’t finished,” Robbie argued. “You’re usually so level-headed and thoughtful about every decision, I knew you’d fuck up eventually.”

“This really isn’t helping.”

“And you know what the repercussions are if you continue this,” he continued, unaffected by my interruption. “You just have to decide if they’re worth it or not.”

“You mean if possibly losing my friendship with Ryder is worth fucking his mom?”

My words were harsh, but Robbie didn’t flinch at my tone.

He nodded and stood from the stool. “Look, I’ve met Ryder quite a few times, and from what I know of him, he’s pretty understanding and laidback. But I don’t think anyone would take their best friend sleeping with their mom too well. Maybe he’d come to terms with it eventually, but I wouldn’t bet on it. This is a bad idea. You can’t.” He chuckled. “You can’t unfuck his mom. Once you’ve crossed that line, there’s no turning back.”

“Wow, nicely said,” I said, sarcasm dripping from my every word. We were both silent after that, the unspoken question loud around us.

Was that a risk I was willing to take?

Neither of us said it, but we were both thinking it.

Robbie was right. I was level-headed and rational when it came to making decisions. I’d grown up fast and learned that those were pillars of adulthood. But around Natalie, that all went out the window. There was no rationality when I was near her. It was like that part of my brain completely shut off, and all I wanted was to wrap myself up in her.

I’d been so focused on fighting those feelings for the past few weeks that I’d forgotten the real reason I’d let Ryder talk me into living there in the first place. It was supposed to be temporary and allow me time to get back on my feet and find a place of my own.

I needed to make that my priority. Maybe even find somewhere that wasn’t temporary.

When I pulled into the driveway and Natalie’s car was nowhere to be found, I thanked whatever deity made that happen. It was Labor Day, so I figured her office was closed, but she must’ve had other plans.

Hurrying into the house and up the stairs, I reminded myself to stick to my plan. I was going to pack my bags and crash at one of my other coworkers’ apartments. I honestly wasn’t looking forward to it since Jace partied more than any living person should and already had two other roommates, but I hoped it would be a better alternative.

I couldn’t risk my friendship with Ryder, even if he would eventually forgive me. He would never know about what happened in the kitchen the other night, and nothing like it would ever happen again.

After I left, I’d text Natalie and tell her that although I appreciated her letting me stay, it was for the best if I moved out. And that we never tell Ryder about my momentary, one-time lapse in judgment.

But the second I entered the guest bedroom, my plan hit its first roadblock. I whipped my dirty T-shirt off and realized I needed a shower. Badly. And not knowing what the bathroom situation was like at Jace’s, I knew it was safest to take one while I still had access to a shower that I didn’t have to share with three other dudes.

Five minutes tops. That was how long I estimated it would take me to jump in and get back out. As I grabbed a new towel from the cabinet and turned the water on, I hoped that deity was still looking down on me and Natalie wouldn’t get back before I was able to leave.

Stepping under the water, I quickly scrubbed my body and ran shampoo and conditioner through my hair. It was work to not let my mind wander. I had to consciously not think about her, which was counterintuitive since I still ended up thinking about her, maybe even more.

I willed myself not to remember how perfect her cunt felt wrapped around my fingers or how delicious each of her sounds were. Or imagine how gorgeous she would look with the water running over each of her curves, her head tossed back as she let the water soak her black hair.

Just the momentary lapse made my dick harden, and I cursed under my breath.

I refused to jack off to the memory of her poised on the counter or to any of my other creative fantasies. Once I started that, I knew nothing else would ever do it for me. So, I’d been painfully hard for weeks.

Angrily, I shut the water off and grabbed the towel. I whipped the shower curtain open and dried quickly before I cracked open the bathroom door. I waited several seconds but didn’t hear anything. Deciding it was safe and Natalie hadn’t returned, I quickly crossed the hallway and pushed open the bedroom door as I tried to tighten the towel around my waist.

Staring down, I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone until the door clicked closed behind me and I was halfway across the room.

I knew my plan—to leave and never come back. That was the right thing to do. I knew my plan, and nothing would keep me from seeing it through. Except one thing. One person. And that one person was sitting in the center of my bed.

The moment I noticed Natalie, her white sundress spread around her, I stopped in my tracks. Her legs were tucked underneath her, and her hands were folded in her lap while she fidgeted with the hem of the dress.

Her black hair was in soft waves that flowed over her shoulders and past her breasts. Long, dark lashes framed her blue eyes, and as she watched me from across the room, I could see how nervous she was.

For several seconds neither of us said anything. I tried to figure out if she was just a figment of my imagination, an apparition of my deepest desires that came to fruition to test me.

Her eyes appraised me, running from my feet, over my towel-clad waist, and up my stomach. She unabashedly assessed each of the tattoos across my chest and down my arms. And when she’d considered every inch of exposed skin, she looked back at my face with a new flush to her cheeks.

“What are you doing here?” I finally asked, my voice sounding like gravel and belying exactly what finding her there had done to me. Much longer and the towel around my waist wouldn’t be able to hide my rapidly stiffening cock. Then she’d know, without a doubt, how little I could help myself.

“Probably making a huge mistake,” she said quietly. And I questioned if I heard her right.

I straightened and had no idea how to respond. Most of the time I didn’t have much to say, but that didn’t mean I was ever at a loss for words.

But Natalie didn’t wait for me to say anything as she continued, “You left.”

She straightened her spine yet continued to fidget with the end of her dress, and I wondered what would happen if I stayed quiet. I could see her apprehension growing the longer I took to respond, and I enjoyed watching her squirm.

She’d told me, and I’d experienced firsthand, that when she got nervous, her first reaction was to begin babbling. I wanted to know if I waited another minute if she would start?—

“Okay, well, thank you for confirming this is a huge mistake. I’ve obviously lost my mind, and that will be the last time I ever look to Caroline for advice. I’m just going to go ahead and get the hell out?—”

She pushed to her knees on top of the mattress as she spoke and was making for the edge of the bed before I interrupted her rambling.

“What do you want?” My voice was low, and the steady rise and fall of her chest ceased the moment I spoke. Then her eyes closed slowly, like she was steadying herself to respond.

My dick twitched, and I had to clench my fists to keep from closing the distance between us and reaching for her. I wanted more reactions like that one. I wanted all of them.

Her eyes fluttered back open and settled on me once again. We were like two ends of a magnet—the tension and attraction between us pulling us together whether we wanted it to or not.

So caught up in holding myself back, I momentarily forgot I’d asked her a question until she finally answered.

“More.”