Page 13

THIRTEEN

DON’T COMPLICATE IT

Natalie

I nearly spilled my drink when Caroline snuck up behind me and slapped my arm.

“You slut, you actually did it, didn’t you?”

I felt my cheeks redden under her scrutiny as she stepped in front of me. Since we’d walked in, she’d been pulled in every direction, so we hadn’t had time to talk. But I knew I wouldn’t escape without a conversation. Otherwise, she’d be banging down my door as soon as she could. She finally found her opening over an hour later and was getting straight to the point.

Trying to do so without her noticing, I glanced back to my right where Theo was still sitting beneath the same damn tree. And it was from that small bench that he’d been watching me the whole time.

A smug smile played at his full lips, and his sunglasses were perched on his nose.

I couldn’t see his eyes behind the polarized lenses, but I’d felt them on me every single second. They followed me and tracked my every movement as I made my way through the party. Even when he’d had his phone out earlier, talking to someone for a while, he’d kept his eyes steadfast on me. I tried not to look at him, but I wasn’t strong enough to escape his pull. That much I’d already learned.

“Oh my gosh, you can’t stop looking at him even now.”

I swung my attention back to her, shaking off the feeling of his eyes, before sipping on my drink.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said coyly.

She scoffed immediately and looked over at Theo. “Don’t give me that shit. Even from this distance, the sexual tension rolling off of the two of you is insane. And now, you’re looking at each other like you’ve seen one another naked. So , how was it?”

“I’m not talking to you about this,” I quickly said in a hushed tone. “At least not right now.”

Although no one was nearby and everyone was still gathered around the pool several yards away, I worried that someone would overhear. I didn’t want to become one of the many stories our neighbors passed around. Like we were the newest piece of town gossip to be shared over glasses of wine and between sniggered laughs.

“That’s ridiculous,” she argued. “I knew every detail of your and Mark’s sex life. You told me when you attempted anal and how poorly it went. You told me about his leather phase. You even told me in explicit detail how he tried to?—”

“Stop!” I angrily whispered, using my free hand to cover her mouth. Her giggle vibrated against my palm, and I raised my brows in silent question: Are you going to shut up?

Reluctantly, I removed my hand, and she immediately continued, “I’ll only stop if you give me the details. Unless it was bad. Was it bad? I know we considered that possibility, but could you imagine that? Oh god, wouldn’t that be awful? You have sex with your son’s best friend only for it to be horrible.”

I groaned. “It wasn’t bad, and do not refer to him as that ever again. It makes me feel…”

“Dirty?” she supplied with a smile, and I rolled my eyes. “Okay, so it wasn’t bad? But that doesn’t mean it’s good either…”

“It was incredible ,” I sighed, and the smile that crossed Caroline’s face was devious.

“What was incredible?” a voice asked from behind my right shoulder. I stiffened immediately but managed to force a smile onto my face and maintain my internal freakout.

“That dip you made, Tiffany,” Caroline supplied smoothly. Tiffany was the nosiest of the bunch, and I could feel the smile I’d plastered on my face slipping. If she’d heard a word of our conversation, everyone else would’ve known in a matter of minutes.

“Oh, you’re too sweet. I just wanted to say bye,” Tiffany said, and I nearly sighed in relief. We said our goodbyes, and neither Caroline nor I said another word until she was well out of earshot.

“Okay, so it was incredible?”

Doing one quick glance around us to make sure no one else planned to interrupt, I nodded.

“Oh, thank God,” Caroline said with relief. “But I need more than that. What’s his dick like?”

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now.”

Caroline gave me an unimpressed, impatient look, her blonde brows nearly hitting her hairline. “Stop acting like we don’t talk about this shit all the time and spill.”

She was right. It was normal for us to discuss her experiences, but I didn’t always have something to share. And telling her about Theo almost felt too personal. Like it was something only for us—too special to be shared.

And that thought was terrifying enough to make me speak.

“It’s perfect. Big and he’s…pierced.”

Caroline choked on her drink, nearly spewing it out of her nose as she tried to cough back her surprise. I rolled my lips to try to keep from laughing at her struggle, but I couldn’t help it.

It took her several seconds to compose herself, but when she finally did, she said, “That’s it. You’re living my dream.”

I never thought I’d hear anything like that from her. She’d spent the several years that I’d known her creating a successful career and dating whomever her heart desired. If anything, she was living my dream.

“Okay, but does he know what to do with his big, pierced cock?”

Suddenly, I was assaulted with memories from just a few hours earlier. The way he touched me, tasted me, and coaxed from my body more pleasure than I’d ever known, all while saying some of the dirtiest things I’d ever heard. It was enough to make me readjust where I stood and make my skin heat.

“Honestly, you don’t even have to respond,” Caroline said, pulling me from my memories with an easy smile. “It’s written all over your face just how good it was.”

I didn’t have a chance to tell her just how right she was before her gray eyes went wide. She was peering over my right shoulder yet again, and I braced myself for another one of our neighbors to approach us. But it wasn’t Stewart or Courtney who stepped up beside me.

“I’m heading back to the house. I have some assignments to catch up on,” Theo whispered into my ear. An involuntary shudder ran down my spine as his hot breath hit my skin.

“Okay,” I breathed out, unable to think of anything better to say and worried that if I turned around to look at him, I’d follow him out of the house and back to his bedroom.

I felt when he left. With his intense attention no longer igniting my skin, I turned back to see him disappear into Caroline’s house through the sliding glass door.

“Not going to follow him?” Caroline asked quietly, and I whipped back around to glare at her.

She shrugged and finished off her drink. “Is it because you feel guilty?”

I considered how I was feeling in that moment, and I waited for the guilt to overwhelm me. But it didn’t.

“No, I’m more terrified that I…I want it to happen again,” I said quietly, staring down at my hands clasped in front of me instead of at my friend.

“You’re both adults, Natalie, and…” She trailed off and it was unusual for Caroline to be at a loss for words. I looked up and I was even more surprised to see tears gathered in her eyes.

“Caroline, what—” I began but she waved me off.

“Just a momentary emotion, but it passed.” She laughed and quickly composed herself. “I’ve just…I’ve only known you for seven years, but in that time, you’ve put everything aside for your family. You stayed in a marriage you didn’t want to be in to raise Ryder and put your own ambitions and goals on hold to do it. You deserve something for yourself, and if Theo is that for you, then I’m all for it.”

“Even if I’m going behind my son’s back? Even if I’m putting at risk my entire relationship with him?” I countered.

She’d used the same reasoning when I’d spoken with her that morning, and I’d believed her then—I’d agreed with her then. But after actually being with Theo, everything had changed. The way I wanted him and the way we were drawn together felt like it was more than attraction.

And with feelings like that, it was bound to end badly.

“Does it suck that he’s Ryder’s best friend? Yes, absolutely it does. But like I said, you’re both adults, and as long as you’re both consenting, then what else is there?”

I contemplated her question, her reasoning for a moment, when she added, “Does the age difference bother you?”

It was hard to believe there were fourteen years between us. I was starting eighth grade when he was born. I was likely much closer in age to his mom than I was to him. When I considered those things, the age difference was hard to ignore. But most of the time, it felt like we were on level ground. Age truly was just a number.

I pushed my hand through my tangled hair and tried to steady the nervous pounding of my heart. “No, honestly, I’ve barely thought about that aspect of it. It doesn’t feel like there’s much of an age difference at all when it’s just us. But someone could say that I’m taking advantage of him. He’s living in my house because he has nowhere else to go. The age thing just makes it worse,” I said, my voice getting louder until I took a breath and continued in an angry whisper. “What if he thinks the only reason he’s allowed to stay now is because we’re having sex?”

“Okay, now, you’re just being ridiculous. Stop for a second and take a breath.” Caroline didn’t stop scowling at me until I did as she said. She talked me through three more deep breaths and then said, “Let’s try this again. Do you really think he thinks all of that? That you’re taking advantage of him?”

My shoulders dropped, and I hung my head. “No…”

“Exactly, so enough with that shit. It’s just sex, Nat. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Enjoy it while it lasts, and don’t overthink it.”

I didn’t say anything more because I couldn’t. A few of the other partygoers had left, while others looked like they were preparing to leave.

After everyone had finally gone, I stayed around to help Caroline clean up while trying to control my anxious thoughts. Thoughts that had centered around Theo since the day he’d moved in. More specifically, they were hung up on what would happen when I got home.

And the deadly spiral my mind had succumbed to didn’t ease even when I pushed through the front door and nervously started up the stairs.

But the moment I hit the landing, my phone began vibrating in my hand. And when I looked down at the name scrolling across the screen, it was no longer a decision I could make: going to Theo’s room or continuing to my own. The decision had been made for me.

Theo’s door was mostly open, and I could clearly see him seated on his bed, books open around him, and his laptop propped on his knee. He turned his head the second I stepped into view and began to set his computer aside until he noticed my phone in my hand.

The muscles in his jaw jumped, and his hand tightened around the computer. I couldn’t look away from him, and as badly as I wanted to ignore the call and walk straight to him, it was that feeling that made me answer even quicker.

“Hey, Ryder!” I said with real enthusiasm. Only a little louder and more exaggerated to help stifle the disappointment when I continued past Theo’s room.