Page 31

THIRTY-ONE

WORD VOMIT

Natalie

Theo’s arms wrapped around me from behind, and he smiled at me through the mirror.

“Take your time,” he muttered into my neck, dropping a kiss just below my ear. “I’m going to start cleaning up the mess Ryder made with breakfast and start on the food.”

“Okay.”

He kissed the top of my head and ran his hand across my lower back as he walked out of the bathroom, glancing back before he rounded the corner like he didn’t really want to leave.

My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It was a welcome change from the swollen eyes and red cheeks I’d been sporting the few days before.

I put my moisturizer back in the drawer and braced my hands on the counter.

I couldn’t believe it had all worked out the way it had. I had truly believed I’d lost them both. And it felt like a miracle that they’d both come back.

I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater before I headed downstairs. There was an extra pep in my step, and I couldn’t help the smile that tilted my lips when I stepped into the kitchen.

Music was humming in the background, and Theo was quietly singing as he leaned over the stove, stirring something that smelled amazing. His muscles jumped and tensed under the black T-shirt stretched across his back, and my eyes lingered over his ass wrapped in a pair of dark jeans.

Something about watching a man cook in my kitchen was so attractive. And it was even better that it was Theo. My house felt so much more like a home with him in it.

Theo reached across the counter and grabbed the salt, twisting the top and adding the seasoning to whatever he was making.

Butterflies took flight in my stomach, and my chest tightened watching him move around like he was meant to be there. Because he was.

And then suddenly my mind was spiraling. There was something about Theo cooking our Thanksgiving dinner and looking perfectly at home that made me pause.

Then I remembered what he’d said earlier. That he wanted to plan our future. But what did that future look like? What did he want it to look like?

My pulse raced as he turned around, and the room spun with my thoughts. He noticed me immediately, and a gorgeous smile graced his lips.

“Hey, I didn’t hear you come down,” he said, reaching for his phone and turning down the music.

My hands trembled and my mouth went dry. He stepped toward me, and the moment the music stopped, I blurted, “Do you want to get married?”

It took me a second to register the words that had flown out of my mouth, and when I finally did, I felt the blush heat my cheeks and crawl down my neck. The butterflies in my stomach turned murderous, and nausea replaced the excitement from only moments before.

Theo’s brows hit his hairline, and his jaw went slack.

I opened and closed my mouth several times as we stood staring at one another. His expression was unreadable, and the longer the silence stretched, the higher my panic climbed.

“I—what—we—” I stuttered, swallowing around the rock in my throat when I couldn’t manage a word or even a coherent sound.

That’s not what I meant exactly. It had come out more abruptly than I’d wanted it to, and I wanted to take it back. There were just so many questions swimming through my head that I couldn’t contain them all.

Theo’s indecipherable expression morphed into one I knew well. Amusement played at the corners of his mouth, and he ran his tongue over his lips like he was trying to hold back a smile.

I rubbed my sweaty palms against my jeans and shuffled awkwardly on my feet. I knew Theo pretty well, but I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking.

He scrubbed a hand over his mouth and took a cautious step forward. “Baby girl, did you just ask me to marry you?”

I scoffed and tried not to appear as ruffled and nervous as I felt. “What? No. Well, I know it sounded that way, but I just meant…” My words trailed off and Theo gave me an incredulous look. I steeled my spine and took a deep breath.

“You just meant, what?”

“I meant, would you want to, or do you want to get married? Eventually .”

He didn’t immediately respond, and I got the itch to fill the silence with my nervous rambling. I stared down at my hands and couldn’t stop the word vomit.

“Not right now or even in the next couple of years, but you know, this is just something that we should probably discuss. We kind of went about things a little backward since you were already living here, and we decided to make it permanent after the fact. But I think it’s probably a good idea to discuss it before we go any further. But if you don’t know, that’s totally fine. You don’t have to know right now. You could…”

Still staring at the floor with unwavering intensity, my words trailed off when Theo’s boots appeared in my line of sight. His tattooed fingers skated down my cheek and tucked under my chin. I didn’t fight it when he urged my face upward.

My breath caught when I saw the look on his face. That one much easier to read than any before—happiness that I felt as much as witnessed.

I craned my head back for a better view and relaxed into his touch.

“Do you want my answer?” he asked, and I nodded slowly.

Like Theo felt my nerves too, he reached up with his other hand and cupped my cheek. With my face cradled in his hands, and his warm, honey eyes holding me hostage, he said, “Without a doubt.”

“Really?” My voice jumped an octave or five with the question, and I reared back to make sure his expression matched his definitive answer.

He chuckled and nodded. “If you want that, I want that. Imagining you as my wife…”

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back to the ceiling. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and a groan, deep in his throat, ripped through his lips. “Just thinking about that makes me fucking hard.”

I gasped as he gripped my hips and yanked me toward him. Even with layers of fabric between us, I could feel his hard cock pressed against my lower stomach.

I wasn’t necessarily shocked by his response, but I was surprised by the confidence with which he said it. Although his birthday was in a few months, he was still only twenty-three. He was young, and I didn’t want him agreeing just because he knew I wanted to get married again.

He lifted his hand and smoothed the furrow between my brows. “What are you thinking about?”

A lie sat on the tip of my tongue, but it wouldn’t do me any good. If I didn’t ask right then, it would eat at me until I blurted it out at the most inopportune time.

“You think you’re ready for that?”

He scanned my face, eyes settling on my lips as he tugged at my lower one with his thumb. “Honestly?”

“Yes, of course.”

He shook his head but continued, “Not yet. But in the not-too-distant future, I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife. I already know I’m not fucking letting you go. We’ll just have to make it official.”

“Do you want to live here? Or would you want to move? Since you’re staying, I think you should have a say.”

He shook his head. “You’ve made this house a home. This is your home.”

“I lived here with Mark. This was our home…once.”

“Yes, but now it’s yours. And I’d love to share it with you. I’m not insecure, that doesn’t bother me.”

It was the perfect, most honest answer I could have asked for. To show my appreciation, and because I couldn’t hold back a second longer, I pressed up on my toes and kissed him.

His lips were soft and pliant, and for a moment, he allowed me to lead the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing myself against him, and before I knew it, he cupped my ass and lifted me off the floor.

Instinctually, my legs wrapped around his waist as he stepped back and began moving around the kitchen. He set me down on the edge of the butcher block island in the same position and location from our first night together.

Brushing my hair behind my shoulders and gripping the sides of my neck, he used his thumbs to tilt my face just how he wanted it. His wicked tongue explored my mouth, and with each lick, I grew wilder and more frantic.

He wanted to get married. He wanted to marry me.

And I was overjoyed at the realization that we were both on the same page. At least about two things.

But we’d just touched the surface of my questions.

If we ended, my heart would be shattered. But I would rather know now, before we went any further, if we weren’t compatible in every single way. I needed to know if what he wanted out of life aligned with me.

I knew he had dreams and goals. He wanted to take over Haven City and make it even more successful, possibly even open another studio on the other side of the city. And now I knew he also wanted to get married.

But there was more.

“Kids,” I mumbled between kisses, and he kissed me one last time before he leaned back with his eyebrows raised, silently waiting for me to expand. “Do you want them?”

His answer wasn’t as automatic as it had been about the marriage question. And whether I was expecting that reaction or not, it still made me anxious. It didn’t keep me from holding my breath or chewing my bottom lip and preparing to nervously ramble.

But Theo contemplated my word vomit and stopped it with a thumb pressed over my parted lips.

“For God’s sake, Nat.” He chuckled. “Just give me a second.”

The humor in his voice made my shoulders sag in relief.

He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. Both of his hands fell to my thighs, and he pressed his palms into the denim. He stared down at his tattooed fingers and dragged them up and down, massaging my legs and creating a warm friction that was filled with uncertainty.

“Kids…is not a topic I’ve given a lot of thought to,” he began, and I refrained from interrupting. “With the way my childhood ended, I don’t know how keen I am to even put myself in the position to repeat that for a kid of my own.”

“You wouldn’t,” I added quietly.

His responding smile was soft yet unconvinced.

“Right now, it’s a maybe. Maybe I could see myself as a… dad .” He stumbled on the word as he said it. “Or maybe not. I think I would be fine either way.”

I covered his nervous, fidgeting hands with my own, and he finally looked up at me.

“Same here. I like the possibility, but I already had one really good kid. If you didn’t want any, I wouldn’t feel like I was missing anything.”

The relief he felt with my confession was apparent in every part of his body. The cocky, devious glint in his eyes returned as he cupped my ass and tugged me to the edge of the counter. The outline of his cock pressed between my legs, and I unabashedly ground against it. But with the denim between us, it did little to ease the growing ache.

“We could practice, though. Practice for when, or if, we decide to do the real thing.”

I smiled into our kiss and let myself fall into his arms.

“What are we practicing for?” A voice abruptly interrupted from behind us.

I nearly jumped out of my skin and off the counter as I whipped my head in the direction of the voice.

Caroline strolled into the kitchen first, a large bowl covered in Saran Wrap in her hands, completely unbothered by the fact that Theo and I were nearly humping on the counter.

Ryder cautiously turned the corner only a second behind Caroline. With one hand covering his eyes and his head tilted toward the ground, Ryder bumped into the edge of the refrigerator and then ran straight into the back of Caroline.

“You’re a hazard,” Caroline said, setting the bowl on the counter.

Ryder dropped the bag he was carrying next to the bowl.

I pushed lightly against Theo’s chest, and he reluctantly stepped back. I slid off the counter and hit the floor on unsteady legs.

Ryder slowly raised his head and lowered his hand, peering up at us with a cautious half-smile. “I’m a hazard? They’re a hazard.” Ryder pointed toward me and Theo.

“Shit, I forgot the desserts,” Caroline muttered.

Ryder peered around the kitchen at the pots already on the stove and the ingredients Theo had laid out, along with the large bowl and bag Caroline set next to the fridge.

“You all do realize it’s just the four of us, right? We have enough food for at least ten.”

“Yes, but the leftovers are the best part,” I added, stepping over to the stove and stirring the vegetables that were beginning to soften.

“You’re going to have leftovers for the next two weeks,” Ryder mumbled. “And if you keep doing that,” he said, waving his hand out in front of him like he couldn’t even begin to describe what he’d just walked in on. “Then I’m not going to have an appetite at all.”

Caroline rolled her eyes and took his wrist. She unceremoniously tugged him toward the door.

“Come on, grumpy pants. Help me with the desserts.”

They argued back and forth as they headed toward the door. I couldn’t suppress my laughter as Caroline called him “grumpy” again and Ryder said something along the lines of the pot calling the kettle black.

The door shut at the same moment Theo stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck. I leaned back into his embrace, enjoying the warmth and hardness of his chest.

“We are going to have way too much food,” he muttered against my skin.

“Not you too. I’d rather have too much food than too little.”

Theo took a deep breath, dragging his nose up the side of my neck and holding me closer.

“It’s going to be amazing, but you’re the only thing I want to eat. My mouth is watering just thinking about eating your perfect pussy.”

I sighed and let my head fall back against his chest. Peering up at his desire-stricken, deep brown eyes, I wanted to take him up on that suggestion immediately.

Although I was confident in Theo’s ability to make me come in minutes, Caroline’s house was only just down the street. Even walking slowly, it should take no more than a few minutes for her and Ryder to get there, grab the food, and get back.

I turned in his arms and urged him backward with a hand at the center of his chest until his back hit the island.

“You were doing just that like an hour ago,” I said.

“Mmm,” he mused. “Feels like forever.”

“If you can hold off just a few hours, until Ryder goes to his dad’s tonight and Caroline inevitably gets tired of us and escapes, I will let you tie me to the bed and do whatever you want to me.”

His pupils dilated with my promise, and he shook his head to hide the smile teetering over his lips. He dropped his forehead to mine, and I slid my hands beneath his T-shirt, scraping my nails against his tattooed stomach. His muscles clenched, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

He was so fun to tease. Especially when he gave up control long enough to let me do so. I traced the waistband of his jeans, dipping below the fabric enough to make his breath come out in a ragged gasp, but I swore I heard a sound from the front hallway. I cursed Caroline for being so quick and efficient, but no one appeared around the corner. Knowing we were still alone, I began to turn back to Theo, but not before my attention landed on his keys on the counter.

But it wasn’t so much the keys that caught my attention as much as it was the keychain that was still attached to them: a dark pink heart with my name printed in the center.

He followed my line of sight and chuckled when he noticed what caught my attention.

“You never changed it,” I said. It was kind of pointless to say; we could both see that he’d never thrown it away or removed it, at least. But he knew what I meant. That it meant something he’d never gotten rid of it.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Any reason?” I asked with a flirty smile, anticipation filling my chest with a nervous lightness.

His smile was sweet and soft. “I think I knew then,” he said. “That I would…you know… Fuck, ” he sighed. “I…” he tried again, but his voice trailed off. His expressive eyes were steadfast on mine and were a window to his thoughts.

Like he was exhaling for the first time in a long time, he finally said, “I think I knew then that I would fall in love with you. Fuck, I’m so in love with you, Natalie.”

My hands stilled, and my heart picked up speed, pounding over time like it was trying to escape my chest. “I love you, too,” I breathed, loving the weight of his arms and his distinctly masculine smell surrounding me. Enjoying the way those words so easily fell from my lips and how right it felt to finally speak them aloud.

He leaned down and softly brushed his lips against mine. And if he always kissed me like that, with more love and desire than I ever thought I’d feel, I’d never want for anything.

“Thank you,” he whispered against my lips.

I chuckled and nipped at his bottom lip. “For what?”

“For nothing…and everything.”

I leaned back, my eyes devouring his face and the uncharacteristically tender look that slipped over his features.

But just as quickly as it appeared, it morphed. He threaded his fingers through my hair and tugged until my neck was exposed. The kisses he trailed down my throat were intoxicating. Goosebumps appeared up my arms, and a shiver of desire ran down my spine.

“And tonight,” he said in a low voice. “To show my gratitude, I’m going to tie you up and make you beg like the filthy little slut you are.”

“Yes, please,” I begged, my voice cracking over the word.

His eyes found mine, and he kissed me again. “Always.”