Page 27

CHAPTER 27 EVIE

Winter break flew by: Christmas turned into a mini-reunion for everyone who was family in all but blood. Toward the end, Bao came by, and Linh and her parents gifted him what every Vietnamese young man needed in their wardrobe: another nice red-and-black checkered long-sleeve. At some point he pulled Linh away to exchange gifts, and they both returned with secret smiles. And a shiny bracelet around her little sister’s wrist. It was too cute.

Evie stretched and put in her earbuds, resigning to a solo run this morning. Until she heard her name.

Viet came.

He appeared as a speck, then as a person, dressed in weather-appropriate neutral colors, with the exception being his neon-yellow running shoes. “You beat me here.”

“I’ll do anything for burgers.”

Odd—she thought maybe she would ask about his break and his parents. Viet would then ask about her break, and so on. They might even mention their time in the parking lot. But she held back from the small talk upon seeing his blooming smile. His eyes were barely open as he grinned at her.

His satisfied smile, his presence—that was enough for Evie.

She needed this run. She didn’t run all break, deciding on the much more fun alternative: gorging on her mother’s homemade meals and watching Christmas movies with Linh, and her parents—her father snoring away not even a half hour after they started. These memories peacefully enveloped her as her feet pounded against the pavement.

She peered at Viet and got an idea. She picked up speed, pumping her arms, stretching her strides. He caught on and, with a short laugh, did the same—and she remembered, after a few seconds, that he’d run as a sport, while running was just a hobby to her. She was left in the dust.

She yelled, but he ignored her, charging on.

They collapsed on a patch of grass, simultaneously straining for air and wasting it away with laughter. They became a still puddle of nothing, and if there were other students around them, Evie imagined they’d come over to check on their well-being. Prod them with a stick or something.

“Oh god, my body!” she moaned.

“You started it!” Viet replied. “I mean, what the hell! We just came back from break.”

Evie laughed. “Sorry.”

“S’okay.” Viet looked up at the sky, his hands folded on top of his stomach. Like always, the silence between was comfortable. Their breathing slowed. “I’m just glad I beat you.”

“I’m so happy you’re doing okay.”

His smile dropped as his wide eyes met hers. Her words sounded far more intense than necessary. But she needed to say them all the same.

And then it happened. She felt a burning sensation in her eyes, the telltale sign that she’d cry. But she shouldn’t because she was the epitome of ugly crying. Even when the emotion’s passed, when she felt fine, her biology betrayed her, and the tears would surge through.

Embarrassed, she hurriedly wiped her eyes as tears fell.

“Oh shit,” Viet whispered. It was either the panic in his look or in his voice that made Evie genuinely laugh, even as she cried. “Did something happen during the run? Did I do something? Are you—” She sat up and reached up her hand to wipe away more tears, but he touched her wrist to stop her. Gone was his laughter; he appeared genuinely worried.

“No,” she laughed. She sucked in air. “No, it’s just me. Everything’s just… catching up to me.”

“Are you crying because of me?”

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“You thought about me?”

“Of course I did! I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was worried.”

He let go of her wrist and fell back to the ground. “But I didn’t go dark on you.” Not like before . She heard his unsaid words. “We texted.”

“I know, I know. We chatted through the group chat. Still—I wanted to know if you were all right. Right before winter break, you listened to me complain about Jake. Meanwhile, you learned that your parents were getting a divorce—which is infinitely more life-changing—and you never mentioned anything about it.”

“For what it’s worth, I didn’t know about it until the moment I got home.”

“Still.” Evie wasn’t sure what she wanted to get at. “I realized that I haven’t asked a lot about you and what you were going through. But you’re always there for me. Always. I’m sorry for not being a good friend to you.”

Viet busied himself by plucking the grass underneath him. “You might have guessed that things at home were rocky. I thought I could get away from it at school. It was good for a while; then I got a phone call that made it impossible for me to feel good. Maybe it’s because my mom and I are close, and I don’t like seeing her sad. Or because I just I knew, deep down, that my parents were broken beyond repair.” He let out a short, self-deprecating laugh. “Then I really knew it was over when I came home. So I retreated. Lashed out at people who cared about me, but they were kind enough to forgive me. They pulled me out of a cocoon, and I’m glad they did.”

Grass cascaded down as he opened his fist. “I’m slowly learning how to navigate these moods. I’m not perfect, and I won’t always know when I’ll feel down. What will cause it. I’m probably not going to find a solution immediately,” he said simply. “Should I see someone? Maybe? Do I want to? Maybe, but you know I’m not a huge talker. But one thing’s for sure, is until I take the next step, I have a lot of people around me who care.”

The sad tears subsided, and now happy tears were incoming. Evie rubbed her eyes. “I want you to promise that you’ll come to me if you ever think things feel like they’re too much.”

“I promise.”

“Good.”

“I promise you—I promised Bao, Linh, and Ali—if I needed to talk, I’d know who to turn to.” He paused. “I won’t ever forget…” His voice was low, as warm as the heat between them. “When I saw you in the parking lot. I didn’t ask for you to be there, but you were. And I thought, why didn’t I just tell her ? Why did I get mad at Bao when he only wanted to see how I was holding up? And at your sister, too.” He paused. “Seeing you that night was more than I could ever ask for.”

He smiled. He faced the sky again, with his eyes closed.

Throughout the break she had thought about Jake every once in a while, but once she heard about Viet’s family, thoughts of the past waned. Instead she focused on the future: how Viet would be once going back to school; how Linh and her boyfriend’s relationship would bloom throughout college, and how Evie hoped it wouldn’t turn out like hers; how she just wanted to feel the warmth of their next Saturday Sins group again.

Evie felt an urge. She thought of certain moments, like when she looked at the fire alarm in an empty hallway begging to be pulled. She imagined doing exactly that, then running away, bursting through the doors—always toward sunlight—and no one would chase her. She never listened to that urge.

She wondered if she could now. In startling clarity, scenes played out in her mind: her ears pounding, she’d scoot a bit closer; they’d hold each other’s gazes; someone would lean in slowly, so slowly; his hand would go to her cheek, hers to his hip. Their lips slotting together.

She snapped out of it, then scrambled to her feet. “Well, I have a lot to do, so I’m going to—” Why was she so breathless? “I’m going to go now.”

“Burgers another time, then?”

Seeing you that night was more than I could ever ask for.

“Yes, sorry. I just remembered I need to do something.”