Page 18

CHAPTER 18 EVIE

The large sign with neon-green letters announced the La Casa apartments. One apartment glowed blue, and the windowpanes vibrated along with the car-crash noise of a dubstep song. The parking lot was packed, the nearby bike rack full. Someone had stuffed paper bags into the trash can, which were probably used to carry Trader Joe’s alcohol from a half a loop away. The air had the right fall crispness that Evie loved.

Unsurprisingly, Kale’s presence received applause and screams, and he led them all in. Evie recognized and was friendly with the hosts, but no one could compete with Kale’s popularity. Beside her, Tate, who met up with them, glared at someone pushing against him. “An hour tops and I’m leaving. Even if it means leaving that guy here.”

Evie knew he was not too fond of crowded parties and deafening music; he preferred smaller venues and mostly liked throwing them with Kale at their apartment. His safety zone. “It’s okay if you disappear. Kale will be taken care of. If not by me or Lis, then someone here I’m sure.”

Tate smiled back at her. “Thanks. I’ll probably hang with Viet and—” Lis was also gone, having been absorbed by another group. “Never mind, just Viet. Poor guy.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t think he wants to hang out with me .”

Evie frowned. “He likes you!”

“Well, I just think he’d much rather be around—”

Crisp white button-down and relaxed jeans. It wasn’t an uncommon outfit, Evie convinced herself, when she spotted a Jake lookalike toward the center of the room.

Except, it was Jake.

He was coming back from the beverage table, Solo cup in hand, but stopped at the sight of her. Then he blinked and smiled. “Hey.” His arms wound around her waist. She smelled his cologne first, then the alcohol on his breath. He must have been here for a while before they arrived.

“I thought… I thought you had study plans.”

“It started out that way,” he smoothly explained, “but then we got the text about this party. Sorry, babe.” He dipped his head to kiss her, then offered her his Solo cup, filled with some brownish-green drink. His drinking philosophy was to go all the way, but Evie went more slowly—or else the night would end, quick.

Lis and Kale met up with them, Viet trailing behind. She quietly thanked Kale for the White Claw he slipped into her hand. Then Tate stepped up to make a tight circle. Jake received one-armed hugs from everyone, but stopped at Viet, pointing, then snapping his fingers: “Band-Aid Guy!”

“Jake, you met him at the picnic, too.”

“Just kidding. I remember. Nice seeing you again, man.” Viet nodded back. There was an awkward pause. Her fingers clenched around her can, and Jake’s touch fell away as she shifted.

“Band-Aid Guy—what kind of nickname is that?” Lis protested. “We should come up with new ones!”

“Please, no,” Viet remarked. His expression was already so tortured; it was adorable.

“VroomVroomVroom Viet,” Kale said. The group groaned. “What? Because he runs!”

“You probably had that tucked away for a while. Keep it there,” Lis mumbled.

“Valiant Viet. Or Victor Viet,” Evie offered, hoping that would end the conversation. “For cinching the win today.” She turned to Jake. “Lis and the Forensic Science Club are going to represent the school at the spring Northeastern forensics competition.”

“Congrats. I didn’t think it was a thing .”

Evie didn’t need to look over to see the hurt on her roommate’s face. “Hey, Jake—”

“We’ve never won before,” Lis cut in. The tips of her fingers were as red as her Solo cup. “It was always seniors who went to rep Davis. Now it’s us—third-years and a first-year. It hasn’t happened since the club started up.”

“Cheers,” Jake said, grandiosely tapping his Solo cup against Lis’s cup.

“We’ve been studying hard for it,” Lis continued, her voice much weaker.

Evie felt the sensation of being stuck in the snow as she watched an avalanche begin.

“You worked so hard for it!” she said. “I’m so happy for us.” She squeezed her friend’s arm.

“We should give you a nickname, Evie. Especially since we made it through the first round because you stepped up,” Viet said.

Her boyfriend was confused. “Evie played?”

“Yes, and she played well.” Lis looped her arm through Evie’s, squeezing it in either support or excitement from the win. “We had a member drop out last minute, and she totally stepped up.”

“You didn’t deserve to forfeit all because of Alex. I couldn’t let you lose.” That was all true.

“I didn’t know you liked all that forensics stuff,” Jake said.

She thought she saw Lis flinch at “stuff.” “Absorbed it from Lis, I guess.”

A moment later, the group was pulled apart. Lis wanted to dance; Jake was pulled into a beer pong game. The separation relieved Evie from that awful, impending doom from their conversation. Jake likely didn’t know the effect of his words, but she couldn’t stand seeing her roommate wilting as Jake all but dismissed the club as unimportant.

There was also the matter that he’d come to the same party as her. Of course he didn’t have to report his every action to her—she didn’t tell him about the party either—but earlier today, she’d suggested spending time together, and he turned her down. Shock was apparent on his face when he saw her there. Like someone caught in a lie.

What else had he lied to her about?

As the night wore on, she begged Lis to let her go sit for a bit. Her roommate found other friends and drunkenly clung to them. Only one person sat by the couches, and that was Viet clutching his own Solo cup. He didn’t look lonely, but he was alone. She felt a twinge in her heart. Since he was part of their friend group, it was easy to forget that he was younger and likely knew no one at this party.

While she was not as extroverted as Lis or Kale, she always lingered somewhere close to the center. It was hot, disorienting, and she was never more aware of her body. As she walked toward Viet, the outskirts felt more freeing, cooler… calmer, even, like anyone could pass through her and she wouldn’t mind it.

Their eyes now locked, Viet said, “You don’t have to check in with me, you know.”

“Why do you think I was checking in?”

“The look in your eyes. Determination.”

Evie sank down next to Viet. “I just need to rest. Been dancing all night.”

“Seems like you were MIA before today. Any reason?” she asked.

“No reason,” he answered quietly into his cup.

“Have you been… feeling down?”

He laughed. It was unexpected and strange, and Evie felt as if she just missed some crucial information. “Sort of, but not in the way you think. Not like before.” He shook his thought, deciding to ignore whatever was floating in his mind. “But it’s all good. I’m here now.”

“I just hope you can have a good time.”

“I am having fun. I’m here, with you.” There was a teasing note in Viet’s response. He took a sip of his drink, eyes still pinned to her. She spotted the slight curve of his lips—a smile. His time with Kale and Lis might have brought out this side of him. Only when he spilled some of his drink did he break character.

As Evie laughed, Viet grabbed a tissue from a tissue box and dabbed his wet chin. “I always manage to embarrass myself in front of you. Like the first time I tripped and fell—”

“I thought you were somersaulting?”

“Yes, of course. And then when you found me by the cows. You already saw me cry. And now this.”

“I’m happy I can see all these different sides of you.” She meant it.

They didn’t stay alone for long; Evie felt the change in the air on her left side when Jake joined them. Now she sat sandwiched between the two boys.

“What’s going on here?” Jake lackadaisically slung his arm around her shoulder and nudged Viet with his hand. “Girl talk?” His eyes were hooded, and his words were beginning to slur.

Evie shrugged off his arm as casually as possible; it was too heavy. “I just needed a break and was catching up with Viet.”

Her boyfriend looked past her and right at Viet. Several long seconds went by before he mumbled a few words, almost to himself. Evie heard “like a lost puppy.”

“Jake,” Evie said sharply.

“Oh, sorry.” He only rolled his eyes. How much did he have to drink? His arm went around her shoulder again, squeezing her closer to him. Evie felt Viet shifting away. “When’s the clinic thing starting?”

“After the break,” she answered warily. She wondered if his roommate was here, if he could take Jake back to his apartment in one piece.

He was almost pouting. “You’ll probably be busy.”

“So? I’ll still see you.”

“I don’t like that the program’s gonna take you away from me,” he continued, head drooping toward the crook of Evie’s neck. “Everyone thinks it’s great, but it’s just a stupid volunteer thing. There are other clinics out there that are better, and you don’t even need to apply or interview or any of that shit.”

Ouch.

“Wow, Jake.” She inhaled. “I don’t even know where to begin with that.”

Viet intercepted, “Maybe you should get him some water. I’ll watch him for now.”

Tears building in her eyes, she almost pushed Jake completely over, but she held back and leaned him against Viet who accepted his weight. On her way to get water, she crossed paths with her roommate again, who nodded toward the couches.

“Jake and Viet seem to have gotten close.”

In that moment, she recalled Jake’s comment to her and the ones he’d made before. Evie hadn’t done much to defend Lis. “Jake—he’s… he’s just drunker than usual. That’s why he said the things he said before. He really needs to sober up.”

Lis laughed weakly. “Not going to lie, I was feeling a bit offended, and you know that’s hard to do.”

“I know. That was awful.” Evie hugged herself. What he said about the clinic was also hurtful. “I don’t know what to do with him.”

In this corner, she had a good view of the mass of people crowded in the apartment: snapbacks, high ponytails, casual to glam. Kale waved from the center, tilting his head in a silent You okay? to which the girls waved back.

“Lately you don’t look happy when you’re with him, Evie. I can tell.” Her roommate paused, considering her next words. “And I know Jake’s probably not a bad guy, but he has a lot of insecurities, and he would rather put other people down instead of dealing with his own problems.”

Lis was right. Evie would rather not verbally confirm that her words were true, so she merely nodded. She refocused her attention on Jake, just in time to see Viet leaning her boyfriend back on the couch, letting his head tip up. Jake was seemingly asleep now. “Let me grab him some water.”

Minutes later, she was back at the couches. “Thanks for looking after him, Viet.”

“We had a good girl talk,” he deadpanned. She shook with laughter as she brought the cup of water to Jake’s lips. He lazily gulped it down.

“I’m fine,” he protested then, swatting away her hand.

“Now that everything’s under control, I think I’m gonna head out too,” Viet said.

Evie felt a pang of disappointment. “Oh. Okay.”

She didn’t understand her feet were following him until she caught a glimpse of him as he silently slipped through the front door.

She quickened her steps, setting her cup down on a window ledge as she passed. Viet was halfway down the steps when he turned at the sound of his name.

“Yes?” he asked with an undercurrent of amusement.

“Sorry… about before.”

Viet walked back up a few steps so that her view of him was not as steep. “Why are you apologizing?”

“Because he dismissed the competition and sounded like an asshole.”

“But what about you? What he said about the clinic, that seemed to hurt you too.” Viet shrugged. It looked casual, but she wasn’t convinced. “You shouldn’t be apologizing. If anything, he should apologize to you.”

“I think Jake’s just insecure. He applied to be in the program, but he didn’t make it through, and he might have felt as if he failed. His parents put a lot of pressure on him to be perfect, and this may have hurt him more than he wants to admit.”

“Sure, that’s a reason, but why does that have anything to do with undermining what you went through? You got in, but he doesn’t seem very happy.” He paused. “Don’t you want him to be happy for you?

Evie sat down on the top step, Viet next to her. She hugged her knees to her chest. “I do. I want him to share in my happiness. I’ve tried to say this, but I haven’t found a way. And even if I talk to him about it, I don’t think he’ll… understand where I’m coming from. Then our conversation’s always over before I realize it, and the moment’s passed.”

“Sorry,” Viet said suddenly, his words rushed. “I don’t know him too well, so maybe I’m being overly critical. I just saw your face change when he bashed the clinic. That was hard to miss.” It surprised her that he was watching so closely, but she also recoiled from an invisible sting of humiliation—that her boyfriend said such inebriated, callous words, which she couldn’t even respond to because she was so taken aback. There was no defending Jake because he made a similar remark when he was sober.

They shared the same view of the lawn. Groups of friends wandered afar, heading to and from other campus parties. Public safety was curiously out of sight.

She let her feet fall to the next step and sat taller. “You’re not leaving because of Jake, are you?”

“No, honestly. Being in crowds… it drains me.”

Evie nodded, understanding. He was like Tate—fully present, until his social battery ran low, and then he’d retreat. Their friend would probably sneak away soon.

“Do you want some company on the walk back?”

She didn’t know why she said that. It wasn’t like—

“Are you asking just because… or are you offering to come along? Because if it’s the latter…”

She was almost swayed to go home. If she left now, she could be back in her apartment, in a ratty tee and soft pajama pants, face mask on, or drifting off to sleep with lo-fi music blanketing her body…. She wasn’t missing the party’s suffocating room, the grating loud music that shook the windows.

She embraced the comfortable silence between them on their way back, the kind that always snuck in whenever they cooled off after a tough run. No words were needed. It was enough to know he was breathing next to her.

A longing surged through her body, and its force nearly knocked her over.

Lis was still at the party, along with Kale and Tate. And Evie’s boyfriend, who was likely still asleep on the couch. She needed to make sure that someone watched out for him.

“Viet…” Evie paused. What was this feeling?

“It’s okay,” Viet said softly. “Go back to the party, Evie. Jake’s gonna probably wake up and wonder where you are.” He stood first, then offered her a hand. “And hopefully he’ll realize he was wrong for saying all those things before.”

Maybe it was the drinks she had, but she felt that if she got up by herself, her legs wouldn’t hold her up. So she allowed herself to be pulled to standing. Her hand lingered in his; she couldn’t be the only one who noticed it. He let go first. “I’ll see you tomorrow or some other day.”

Back inside, Evie paused before her friend’s apartment door, her hand on the knob. It was shaking.

When Viet asked if she’d come with him, then trailed off, she was glad that they left it at that. She wouldn’t be comfortable giving him her honest answer.

Neither would Jake.