Page 20

CHAPTER 20 EVIE

The clinic was in a former accounting firm, which explained the gray filing cabinets, various ergonomic chairs, and outdated computers. Other furniture was brought in by student volunteers throughout the year: a hodgepodge of white plastic stacking chairs, folding tables, floor lamps, and a water cooler that was all dried up. Alessandra, the clinic coordinator, tried to cover up the latter during her walkthrough with Evie, reassuring her that it’d be replaced once the new semester started. She added that their medical equipment was only two years old, so there was no need to worry.

Evie waved away the older woman’s explanation; the clinic was student-run, which meant there’d be little money coming in, and some clutter was to be expected. Plus, given her own parents’ hoarding habits and the disorganization at their restaurant back home, she was used to dealing with a mess.

As the coordinator gathered up her purse at the end of the tour, Evie stood in the middle of the room and ran through what Alessandra had told her. Clinic hours opened at seven thirty on Saturday mornings. This place should be packed with patients, undergrad volunteers, med students, and medical supervisors from Davis and SacState. The elderly patients would already be there before the volunteers and wait in red seats to be called in. They might browse pamphlets about various medical issues in different languages—Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese. They would get their consultations from a team of med students and undergrads who’d often speak the patient’s language. In between consultations, patient advocates like Evie would take vitals and assist with lab work, and outside the clinic would be expected to join committees centered on specific topics like women’s health, diabetes, neurology, and more.

Her body tingled as she imagined the future. When she first thought of applying, it was because her advisor told her she should; it was expected. When she heard Jake would do the same, she thought it would be a good way for the two of them to spend more time together. But Evie forgot the most important thing: herself. This was her chance to help better someone’s life, one patient at a time.

Alessandra returned with her purse. “Did I scare you away with my tour?”

“No, I’m both excited and nervous for the new year,” Evie said, walking with her to the door. “Is it… weird for me to say that I didn’t really understand what the clinic meant until today?”

“No, I get it. It’s a new experience.” Alessandra stepped out after Evie, then turned and locked the door. “Think of the ocean. You don’t know how cold the ocean is until you dip your feet into the water. It’s a slight shock… but doesn’t it feel good?”

“True,” Evie replied. She liked that analogy. “I really can’t wait.”

“I’m not supposed to say this, but so many people applied for this program,” she said. “Only a select few got the interview request. We had people with fantastic grades, great recommendations, and some impressive volunteer and job experience. But it’s the interview that really narrows down the pool. It’s easy to be impressed by something on a piece of paper, but more impressive if that person shows up and blows us away.

“I still remember your answer to the question, ‘What was the moment that made you pick this life path?’ Your answer about your sister, about the boo-boo—yes, don’t be embarrassed—showed us who you were. Are. Who you will be to the people you’ll help in the near future.”

“Thanks,” Evie said, her voice dry.

“Continue being yourself, Evie. Humble. Trust me: there are some kids out there who need to be reminded of that.” She laughed suddenly as a memory came to her. “I shouldn’t say this, but there was this one kid whose application was textbook-perfect, if bland. Even before we decided on the interviewees, I got an email from a colleague who got another email from the kid bragging that his father was an important member of the Aggie community. That was a major turnoff. Legacy doesn’t matter at the clinic. It shouldn’t.”

Evie struggled to keep her expression straight. Her boyfriend had always bemoaned the favors his parents asked him to do, how he had to act perfectly in their stead. But clearly Jake used his father’s status to his advantage, despite promising that he wouldn’t. The program saw through him—and he hid all of this from Evie.

“If he hadn’t mentioned his father, would he have gotten the interview?” Evie asked.

“Perhaps.”

Memories washed over her. Jake’s lukewarm response when learning she got through the interview and into the program. When he lied about studying, when he said no to all their Saturday Sins dinners, when he openly mocked not only the clinic but also the forensics team. There were so many signs that her relationship had gone sour.

They needed to talk. Soon.

Alessandra and Evie went to their separate cars. Right before sliding into the driver’s seat, her phone vibrated. Her sister, Linh, had sent her a photo. She was with her boyfriend in what looked like a studio. Had to be at her school, then. There was a picture of their finished canvases side by side. Linh’s was expert-level, of course, but her non-artistic boyfriend had only drawn a confusing glob of colors, and Evie laughed at the stark difference.

Her smile faded.

Even though Linh and Bao lived miles away from each other, they always made it a point to spend time together. They were united. Unlike her and Jake.

Once back on campus, she texted the group chat that her walk-through had gone well, receiving hearts and likes fifteen minutes later. They were all busy, but she was glad her friends and family had never stopped being there for her, for one another.

Evie: going to the Arb to clear my mind. In case anyone wants to join!

Lis: can’t grl. But I’ll be home later. Wanna hear about your day!

Viet: will meet you there!

Evie had resisted flowers for a good chunk of her life. Flowers meant being dragged by her mom to stand next to them for a photo opportunity. See a bush of lilies, roses, hydrangea outside a neighbor’s outside garden? Take a picture of me , Mom would demand. And quickly, before they can catch us . Eight-year-old Evie definitely felt the pressure then. Don’t even get her started about hoa mai, its yellow colors reminding her parents of the Lunar New Year back home. They always went crazy over that, as if they didn’t see the same thing every year.

But, Evie, ultimately, was her mother’s daughter, and as a second-year, she found herself going to the Gardens, sometimes with Lisbel, but mostly alone, whenever she felt stress creeping up on her. Today was her first time visiting since the school year had started. She’d found other means to relieve her stress, like her runs with Viet and her Saturday Sins visits.

Evie roamed for fifteen minutes. Then she heard her name.

“Viet?”

“Evie?”

“I’m right here!”

They were playing Marco and Polo. She heard the laughter in his voice too, and the sound came closer and closer. Over a tall, pruned bush, her friend’s head popped up. “Hey!”

“You found it.”

“Almost got lost.”

“Glad you didn’t get lost.” Pain shot through her feet; Evie was hurting from standing on her toes to talk to him. “You want to come around here?”

“Oh! Yeah, let me just—” Putting his running skills to use, he dashed all the way down to the end, found a natural opening, and leaped over it. Now he was just a few feet away. “Like I said, this place is a maze, and I almost—oh, and there’s a gate. Fantastic.”

Evie turned; he was right—he didn’t have to wind around the entire way; he could have conveniently gone right through the gate.

She tried not to laugh. “Not your fault, the gate’s pretty hidden.”

They started walking without a word. Her thoughts were on what she’d say the next time she and Jake met up. Wanting it to happen right now but also dreading it. Her friend let her stew in silence for a few minutes, and Evie figured she should admit she wasn’t very good company right now, apologize for wasting his time, tell him she just needed to figure some stuff out—

Viet stopped. His hand went to Evie’s elbow, turning her to face him. His honest concern shone so clearly it made her forget to breathe. Because when he looked at her, he really looked. “Evie… is something wrong?”

It was rare to comfortably sit in silence. Hidden in a secret pocket, under a willow tree, all to themselves. It reminded her of the first time they were truly alone—surrounded by cows, just lying in the grass. In the last few months, Viet had become so vital to her everyday life. Being around him was uncomplicated. Natural.

She felt this rightness the first time she and Jake kissed. And with Lis, it was their nightly catch-up at their apartment. When Kale and Tate had first started Saturday Sins, coming to the realization that she had become a part of something . She belonged with her friends, but she no longer fit next to Jake.

“Jake is my first real boyfriend, you know,” Evie said aloud. She felt Viet turn to her, but she remained staring at the canopy. “And I’ve spent two years with him. That first year, was everything I could have hoped for. The second year he started feeling more pressure from his family and threw himself into his studies. This year, he’s been busy all the time, and when I try to talk to him, it’s like he doesn’t have a moment to spare.

“I mean, I know everyone’s busy. And I know he isn’t lying. I don’t need to see him all the time. But sometimes I just want to talk to him, face-to-face. I thought we could do the clinic together. Then I got in. He didn’t—and he didn’t care that I got in. He was bitter about it—I mean, you were there.”

Viet didn’t interrupt; she figured he was probably remembering that same night, at the party, when things turned awkward.

“It’s like our relationship’s become nothing. We don’t… fit together anymore,” she finished. “Maybe it’s been like that for a while, but I only realized it recently.”

The branches of the willow tree swayed, their sounds a soothing shhhh . How many watershed conversations had this tree heard in its many years of existence?

“My parents were so busy with their business when I was younger, I don’t think they had the time to fight,” Viet said. “But I noticed last year, and this year… it was happening more often. Over the most random things. Complete overreactions.” His legs were outstretched in front of him, and he dug his heels into the soil. “I’m sure they loved each other at some point… but they seem to have grown… tired. I don’t know how they have managed to stay together all these years.

“And now I’m going home early because my mom wants me back for something. I’m wondering if it has anything to do with her and Ba. Another fight for me to clean up, even though I don’t know how.”

His expression shifted. “I’m sorry. I’m not suggesting that what’s happening with my parents has anything to do with you and Jake…. I guess I wanted to share something personal too,” he said, and gave her a small smile.

She wondered if his family had caused his distress earlier this year. It’s hard to shoulder burden when it stems from the people you love. “Thanks for telling me. I’m sure this hasn’t been easy on you. And I get it,” Evie said, smiling back. “You’re not trying to compare my two-year relationship to your parents’ two decades of marriage.”

“Just to make it clear.”

Their laughter quieted.

“How are you ?” he said.

“Me?”

Viet shrugged. “Yeah, you have a lot of thoughts. Lots of concerns. But how are you feeling?”

Evie sat with that question.

“I feel… tired, maybe? But I don’t trust myself sometimes. With feelings. I can be perfectly logical, but feelings are just wild. I don’t go with the flow, not like my sister and her art and her outward emotions. I never go with the flow.”

“It’s dread,” he said.

Evie looked up at Viet. “What do you mean by that?”

“I’ve been sitting with this feeling, ever since school started. It’s just this consistent feeling, but I haven’t given a name to it, until now, I guess. Not shock, not fear, but dread.” He paused. “It’s in the same family.”

“Yes.” Her breath shook as she exhaled. He read her mind.

“Watch out for the spray!”

A few steps away, the Arb employees were working their magic on the plants. Two women stopped to examine a dying bush, completely oblivious to the two of them.

“Darn. Looks like this one won’t last. I’ve tried everything to feed it,” one woman said.

“Some flowers aren’t meant to last forever, Daphne.” Her coworker sighed. “Sometimes they have lived out their life.”

Daphne gazed forlornly at the plant before moving on.

Evie glanced over at Viet. He held her gaze, like he always did.

“It looks like you’ve made a decision,” he whispered.