Page 19

CHAPTER 19 VI?T

He liked to think he wasn’t imagining things. Adding significance to an otherwise normal thing. But when he asked Evie if she wanted to leave the party together, he was certain her eyes showed some hesitation. Certain her body wavered in his direction as he helped her up from the steps. Certain that she had whispered his name, and it sounded like wonder.

She had thought about it. Thought about his words. Sure, her reason probably had little to do with Viet and more to do with the tiring rush of today’s events, and the deadweight of her boyfriend’s careless words.

Still, she never said no.

If she had said a straight no, then Viet wouldn’t be picturing their walk across campus, to feel the heat of her hand, so close yet still out of reach.

Earlier at the party, the discomfort from the picnic returned, in full force, when he spotted Jake approaching Evie. It happened in slow motion—the guy’s cheeky smile, Evie’s small jump when his arms circled her waist. Stayed around her.

Just let go already , he’d wanted to say.

But of course her boyfriend would find it hard to let her go. Evie was glowing tonight. Crop top and jeans, Converse, nothing fancy. Just her. While they all got ready at their respective places, she’d put on makeup and curled her hair a little, and the corners of her eyes were dabbed with glitter, accentuating the happy twinkle in her gaze. Likely because she finally met up with her boyfriend. Good thing it was dim because if Viet was able to see all of her, he’d be staring the whole night.

Then Jake had to say something completely unnecessary. Viet’s immediate confusion allowed him to skip over being angry; he thought he misheard Jake, thought the other guy was joking in his own asshole-y way. Viet couldn’t remember all his emotions; he just wanted to exit the conversation completely.

But what hurt him, what killed him, was seeing Jake’s arm around Evie, yet again, when they sat at the couches. Bursting Viet and Evie’s bubble.

“Hey, wait up.” Tate jogged up to him outside. “I’m heading back. You too?”

Viet nodded. “Kale coming?”

“No, he wanted to catch up with some friends. But if I stayed and drank more, I’d probably not make it back to The Green. Cool if I join?”

Wordlessly they started walking south toward EC Garden. Tate was much calmer than his boyfriend; he was probably even quieter than Viet. But his silence wasn’t a wall; it was an invitation.

“I felt like I was suffocating in there,” Viet admitted.

“Even after three years, I still can’t get used to parties. Not my thing back in high school either. I never go alone—only if Kale or Lis or Evie are going.” Tate looked at him in the dark. “I could tell you felt the same.”

“Yeah?”

“You were tucked away in a corner.” Tate shrugged. “I was tucked away in the other. Meanwhile, Kale—”

“Was at the center.” Viet grinned. Kale had no problem mingling with other people; it was always impressive to watch.

The older boy nodded. “It might shock you, but Kale’s not a natural extrovert; he says he needs three to five business days to recover after any social event,” Tate said affectionately. “But he tells me he never wants anyone to feel lonely, and that’s why he goes out of his way to meet people. That’s why he never closes our apartment door when we’re there. He might act like he hates company, but really, he’s the one who encourages it.”

They were two opposing energies, but when they were together, they canceled each other out.

“He’s cool. I don’t think—” Viet said, unsure of how honest he should be right now. If he could stop himself from voicing everything on his mind. “I wouldn’t enjoy life here as much if it weren’t for him—and the whole Saturday Sins group.”

“Well, we’re glad to have you.” Tate peered over at him. “Look, what Jake said back there—”

“All good. He’s drunk,” Viet said.

“Doesn’t excuse shitty behavior. I don’t know why Evie’s still with him. I think you feel the same.”

Viet was struck by the boy’s observation; like Kale, he knew more about Viet than he let himself reveal. Even his feelings about Evie.

“I know I’m not supposed to like her.”

Tate scoffed. “?‘Supposed to.’ As if our sentiments could be controlled and put under lock and key.

“Unrequited feelings suck. It’s happened to me a few times in middle school and high school. It’s bad because you’re inside your head too much of the time.”

“What do you mean?” Viet said.

“I had a crush on a girl for the longest time—my very first girl crush when all my others were for boys. We were good friends since elementary school, so it made sense that I’d feel more for her. But then she got a boyfriend.

“I liked her so much that I started building up an imaginary idea of her. Eventually we got together, after her breakup, but I’d spent so much time feeling jealous of her ex, of imagining what it’d be like with her, that the real thing was almost a letdown. Is that the right word? Not sure, but something like that. I’d forgotten the most important thing—my friend, who she is, how she made me feel.” Tate shrugged. “It sucked. The relationship didn’t last long. And I think our friendship pretty much died after that.”

“You’re saying I shouldn’t like Evie, then.”

“No.”

Viet tried again. “That I shouldn’t think about Evie and Jake so much?”

“Oh god. I’m tipsier than I thought!” As if on cue, Tate veered a bit to the side, then righted himself. “I guess I’m saying, just be there for Evie now, as a friend. Be what she needs—even if she doesn’t voice it. Be with her. Present. Maybe your feelings will go away, and that’s fine. But if they’re still there—and there’s nothing wrong with that because how can you not feel something like that…. Now, what was I saying?” Tate stopped and looked ahead at the darkened path. They were a few feet away from the Garden, which Viet realized was the midway point between The Green and his dorm. This was where they’d split apart, and he bet this was the last time they’d have this type of conversation.

“I basically told her Jake shouldn’t treat her that way,” he blurted out. He tried to recall the exact words, but it was like even his mind agreed that he shouldn’t remember how he completely embarrassed himself in front of Evie.

“You… what?”

“I don’t know—it just came out.” Viet tipped back his head to stare at the sky. The stars were hiding. “Oh shit, that was bad, wasn’t it?”

Tate burst out laughing; it started low, and then it got higher, and breathier. Viet had never seen his friend laugh like that, but maybe the others, especially Kale, had.

“Kale said I’m not supposed to say this because it might embarrass you too much, but we’re all really glad you’re in our group now. You’re the missing piece.”

Suddenly Tate stopped and tilted his head. From afar, someone yelled out, “Hellooooo!”

“Speak of the devil,” the boy muttered.

Kale jogged toward them. “Didn’t you hear me call out before?”

“What are you doing here?” Traces of laughter laced Tate’s voice. “Thought you didn’t want to leave yet.”

“I missed you.” He was either in love or drunk, and honestly, was there a substantial difference? Kale stopped and bent over to catch his breath. “Oh god. I can’t do this. I’m not made to run.”

“Tough.” Tate shot Viet a mischievous look. “We were about to go on a night run, one-way, from here to the Aquatic Center. We got a lot of energy to spare.”

Viet caught on. “Yeah, want to run with us?”

Kale eyed the two of them. “I’m not running. I hate running.”

“Just think of the meal you’ll have when we get back home,” Tate said.

“That’s not going to help.”

“Shin ramen. Piping hot, savory broth.”

“Ugh.”

“With melted cheese on top. I’ll even add a soft-boiled egg.”

“Stop seducing me! Also, you don’t know how to make soft-boiled anything! I’ll do it myself.” Kale started jogging without further questions, and soon enough, the three of them were heading down Orchard Park Drive, past wired fences, parked Ford trucks and white vans belonging to university employees, green pastures, more lawns, the normally beige upkeep buildings lighting up, one by one, by motion-sensor lights. Three students, dressed in… not exercise clothes… running in the dead of night.

Viet never predicted he’d be in this situation—not only running without a care across campus but talking openly about the growing feelings he had for their mutual friend.

His mom called at three a.m. Viet had only been asleep for three hours. His legs burned as he hopped down from his bed. Kale had collapsed halfway, demanding a piggyback ride, which—of course—Tate gave him, and they went their separate ways at the end of Orchard.

Viet pawed at his nightstand in the dark, swearing when the ringing stopped. From his bed, Wren murmured something, and Viet threw out a quiet apology that went unheard. He found his phone, and fumbled with it, thinking he left an old alarm on. He saw text messages from Kale and Tate, then Evie and Lis—all got home okay.

Fear spiked inside him at the caller ID.

He couldn’t imagine any good news if his mom was calling at this hour. He left the room barefoot and answered in a hurried whisper when his mother picked up.

“Hi, con.” He didn’t hear any panic in her voice.

“Hi, M?. It’s three. What’s happening? Is everything all right?”

“Con ?ang ? ?au? ? trong dorm hay ? ngoài?”

Viet pointed out the time again.

“Ah yes.”

“What’s going on?”

“M? called to hear con’s voice.”

The silence was long. His mom was still there, breathing. It felt heavy. She and his dad must have had an argument.

“M??” Viet prodded her. “It’s late.”

“Yes, M? bi?t r?i. Can con come home a little early? Ba can drive you tomorrow.”

He planned on going home the day after tomorrow, but he supposed he could go a day earlier. “Yeah, I can. Is there something wro—”

“Good. M? will see con.”

She hung up. The hallway’s lights were still blindingly bright at this hour. Viet remained frozen in the hallway and stared at his phone.

What he was feeling wasn’t fear, but it was in the same family.