Page 50 of Smut Lovers

He taps his keyboard then hands me a document to sign.

Then he hands me a key card for “Cabin 12” and a map of the grounds.

I find my way out of the lobby and walk down the open path.

The path is lit up with little white bulbs with the twinkling lights in the small palm trees.

The man at the other bar was right. It’s a beautiful area.

I open the door with the 12 on it. It’s a suite with a bed and a dresser. There is a terrace that shows the long and beautiful pool. I open up WhatsApp.

I’m in Cabin 12.

Again, no immediate response.

I take a long hot shower to wash off all the grime of traveling over sixteen hours, and having another man’s saliva on me.

I open up my duffle bag and I only have one pair of sweatpants, a tank top, and two t-shirts, along with my travel case of toiletries.

No underwear. I shake my head at my lack of planning this whole thing out, and put on my sweatpants with a tank top.

I open up my phone. No messages. No missed calls.

I should care about that but I don’t. It only means he respected my wishes.

The phone buzzes at the same time the WhatsApp message shows up at the top of my phone.

I’m at the pool.

I get off the bed and walk to the veranda, but I don’t open up the door. I can make out some silhouettes in and around the pool, mostly small groups, some couples, a few dots of singles here and there. Most people are close to the swim-up bar.

I squint my eyes and look around. And I see him.

Robert’s sexy body is squeezed into black speedos.

His entire body is wet, as if he swam up from where he was.

Now he’s sitting on the other side of the pool from me, his feet in the water.

I slowly raise my hand. Rob does the same, barely lifting his hand off his thigh.

We stare at each other. My heart is racing double time. I watch him look down at his phone and begin to type. My phone goes off in my hand and I read his text.

Does Greg know where you are.

Idk. I just left.

Jesse doesn’t know where I am.

I look at him. Rob is looking toward the right, staring out into the distance. I look back down at my phone.

Are we really going to do this?

I watch Rob look at his phone. He stares and stares at it.

His solid chest goes up, then comes down in a deep sigh.

Rob puts his phone on the edge of the pool, and slides into the water, but then he keeps going until he is completely submerged.

He does not come up right away. Not the first minute or the second.

I was about to open the terrace door when I see him come up a few paces down and realize he’s swimming away.

I put my phone on the bed and leave the room. I make my way around the cabins to the expansive pool. I roll up the legs of my sweatpants and put my feet in the water. It’s cool in comparison to the heat.

I watch Rob swim. A beautiful specimen of a man.

But I never really liked him. He always seemed so cocky, so arrogant.

And he has a lot to be cocky about. He works out and keeps his body fit.

He comes from a wealthy family then became a doctor to secure his own wealth.

He brings up his cock size in regular conversations, another attribute he’s proud of.

He’s aggressively persuasive and goes for what he wants, and between his looks and his money, he gets it.

Rob was a pediatric surgeon, and then started his own practice at the ripe age of 30.

At 32 he met Jesse and after a year he made Jesse move in.

Two months later they were married because same-sex marriage became legal in California that year and he forced Jesse to the nearest courthouse.

I never understood what Jesse saw in him.

The Jesse I knew chose twink partners and Rob was as alpha male as someone could get.

I didn’t like him for Jesse at all. Greg told me he didn’t like him either.

Greg.

Hurt. Pain. Rage. Betrayal. My body flushes with all the feelings at the same time.

Suddenly Rob emerges from the water. I watch him come over to me. He sits his dripping body next to mine. A puddle forms around his thigh and comes closer to me until I can feel my sweats become damp. I don’t say anything. I barely look at him. He doesn’t look at me either.

He begins to talk. His voice sounds hoarse, as if he’s been shouting, then not talking at all.

“When Jesse came back from Ariana’s wedding, he looked at me across the dinner table and said, ‘I’m ready to have a baby with you.’”

My mouth opens slightly. But I still don’t turn my head. I let him talk.

“Twelve years we’ve been together. Eleven of those years married. For ten years I’ve been trying to convince him to have a child with me. It didn’t matter how we did it. Money was no object. And he told me no.”

Rob let out a humorless laugh. “I should have known something was wrong. Jesse never tells me no. But this was the one thing he stood firm on. ‘We aren’t ready,’ he said.

Because I had just started my practice. ‘We aren’t ready,’ he said, because we live in L.A.

and he didn’t want to raise children in the city.

‘We aren’t ready,’ he said, because he was still taking year-long assignments with Doctors Without Borders.

‘We aren’t ready,’ he said, because ‘look at the political climate and any day now our spousal rights and healthcare rights could be taken away.’ Every year, for ten years, I begged, I pleaded, I even threatened to leave him.

But he said no. And then he comes home from his cousin’s wedding and says, ‘I’m ready to have a baby with you. ’”

Rob’s voice breaks at the end. He sniffs and keeps his composure. “I was so happy. I didn’t even care why he said yes. We were going to start a family and that was all that mattered.”

Hurt. Pain. Rage. Betrayal.

“What an asshole,” I hear myself say. “I’m glad you don’t have any children. That complicates things for me.”

But Rob says, “We’re in process for a baby from Colombia.

” I turn to him with wide eyes and an open mouth.

He still doesn’t look at me. “Colombia is one of the few countries that allow married men to adopt but it takes a year or two. We’re at the top of the list. Which means any day now, we could get the call.

I’m here with Jesse so I can learn Spanish and to get familiarized with South American culture. All because he said yes.”

“What are you going to do?” I ask.

He does a heavy shrug. “What are you going to do, Beau? Leave him? Leave your children?”

I look away. “I could never leave my girls.”

“I asked him if he said yes to us starting a family because he felt guilty about what he did. Three times he told me no. The fourth time he says yes, but he actually does want it now. That’s when I left.”

I begin to move my feet around in the water. “Are you going to stop the process?”

Rob shakes his head. “I can’t. I won’t. I want to be a father. It’s what I’ve always desperately wanted.”

I nod. “I understand. Being a father, having a family, was important to me too.”

“I don’t know what to do. I want to leave him. But that thought alone...” He touches the center of his chest. “I feel like I’m dying inside.” He sniffs again.

Guilt came over me. “I’m sorry, Robert,” I say.

“I shouldn’t have told you. It was evil and selfish of me.

I was looking at your social media pages and could see how happy the two of you were.

And I wanted to destroy Jesse’s happiness.

I wanted him to feel what I feel right now. Hurt. Pain. Rage. Betrayal.”

Rob slowly turns to me. He stares at my side profile until I turn my head to him. His mouth is set in a frown. His hazel eyes ablaze.

“I’ve been with Jesse for twelve years. But he hasn’t been with me.

If what you said is true, that it’s Greg who he’s wanted all along, then every single one of those pictures are a lie.

So yes. We are really doing this. Not because it’s going to make me feel better.

Nothing is going to make me feel better.

But because I want him to feel what I feel right now. Hurt. Pain. Rage. Betrayal.”

And I nod. Because he’s right.

“Meet me in the hot tub,” Rob says. “When you’re ready.”

Rob is suddenly gone, jumping in the water and swimming to the other side. I watch him lift his body up and out of the pool. He grabs his phone and walks away, still dripping wet.

I have no swim trunks. I go to the front desk and ask where I could get a pair. They point me to the gift shop but it’s closing. I look at my watch and I have less than two minutes. I practically run over there and slide in as they attempt to shut the door.

“ No, no, cerrado, lo siento ,” she says.

“I just need one thing,” I say. I literally grab the first swim trunks I see. It’s blue with a big yellow sun on it. I pull out my wallet at the same time. “See? Just this one.”

The woman sighs. She holds out her hand. I hand her my credit card. She hands me the receipt. 98 American dollars. I almost balk. But instead I say, “ Gracias ,” and go to my room.

Of course it doesn’t fit. I had grabbed a size medium by accident, so it barely goes up my thighs and I know it’s going to leave marks around my waist. I leave my room and walk the length of the pool, down to the end to the circular hot tub.

There are two other couples in there but I see him.

I step inside and sit across from him. He looks at me then turns around and picks up one of the two cups next to him with a bottle right behind them.

He hands me one. I sip. It’s white rum, strong as fuck. I take a bigger sip.

“Do you still work at a hospital?” Rob asks. As if we’re just two bros hanging out.

“No,” I tell him. “I’m at a health center. A social worker and LGBTQ advocate.”

“Do you like it?”

I shrug. “Definitely less bureaucracy. But also less money at a federally qualified health center.”