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FORTY-SIX

After five days of sitting in the hospital room, I was going out of my mind.

Every time I thought my mother might get discharged, something else came up, whether it be her blood pressure, her temperature, or another ailment.

I hated that she still wasn’t back to her full health, but another part of me hated watching her fawn all over the doctors, only to act like I was an ungrateful brat the moment the door closed.

My only moments of reprieve were during her tests, when I would get an hour to myself.

Most of the time, I’d close my eyes, but my dreams almost always consisted of Cam and Emilia and how much I missed being with them.

I missed them more than words, but I couldn’t bring myself to call, not when I was unsure about my future.

My mother needed help and would need it for the foreseeable future.

Even though she was recovering, someone needed to monitor her and make sure she followed the doctor’s orders.

She’d assumed that person would be me, telling all the doctors and staff I would be moving back in with her without even asking if that was what I wanted .

Later that afternoon, after the nurses rolled her bed away for another round of tests, I made my way into the visitor’s lounge, checking the time on my phone.

Cam had a game later today, and I refused to miss it.

I tried to watch all his games over the past week, but my mother made it difficult.

Between her comments and her questions, I couldn’t focus, but from the brief glimpses I’d gotten, Cam played well, though his spark had dimmed.

I was selfish enough to admit I hoped it was because he missed me.

If I left, would he fight for me? A voice in the back of my mind said no, reminding me he was a pro athlete.

Hundreds of women vied for his attention every day.

I’d seen his private messages on social media.

Women and men alike flooded his inbox, asking for a bit of his time, but every one remained unanswered.

As the players warmed up on the unfamiliar field, I tugged my phone out of my pocket, pulling up his account.

It was almost an addiction, needing to see his face, even if I couldn’t bring myself to call until I had answers.

Cam’s page had only a couple photos of teammates and the field.

He and Victoria agreed to keep Emilia off their social media; she deserved the privacy.

My thumb hovered over his profile and clicked.

As it loaded, my heart caught in my throat, finding it drastically different from the last time I’d checked.

Instead of the dozen pictures that lived there before, now, there were almost a hundred, and most of the photos? They were of me.

Pictures of Cam and me throughout the years, with Victoria nestled between us.

Pictures of me holding Emilia with her face blurred out.

And then there were the ones he must have taken during our time together, hidden moments when I didn’t even realize he was watching, much less capturing us on his phone.

I clicked on the first post, the one filled with the most recent pictures. As I read the caption, tears pricked the corners of my eyes.

My everything.

So simple, yet it meant the world to me.

Cam was notoriously private, hating the idea of talking to the press about anything other than baseball.

I never expected him to talk publicly about our relationship, much less show these moments to the world.

It meant more to me than I realized, being so publicly claimed, like Cam was proud to be seen with me as opposed to the shame I’d experienced in the past.

A familiar chuckle broke my attention, and my eyes darted up, finding my best friend standing in the doorway. A smile stretched across my face as I stood, rushing over to capture her in a tight hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Did you think we’d let you disappear on us?” Victoria asked.

“We?”

As the word left my mouth, I noticed the others following behind her, Ollie and Brianna each holding one of Emilia’s little hands. When she spotted me, Emilia dropped their grip, dashing toward me with a loud shriek. “Auntie Hadley!”

“Wow,” Ollie chuckled. “I’m a little insulted. No one’s ever dumped me like that.”

Emilia rushed into my waiting arms, and I held her closer than I ever had before. After a week of treading water, a warmth settled in my stomach. I was home. It wasn’t a place, wasn’t somewhere checked off on a map. Home meant being with the people I loved and who loved me back in return.

After letting Emilia go, I embraced Ollie and Brianna, still pinching myself that they’d all showed up for me. “I can’t believe you guys came all the way out here for me.”

“We missed you,” Brianna said. “Work hasn’t been the same since you left.”

“I’m sorry about leaving you like that.” My cheeks heated in embarrassment. “I never wanted to abandon the kids?—”

“Woah,” Brianna said as she stepped closer.

“You didn’t abandon anyone, Hadley.” She opened her bag and pulled up a stack of handmade cards.

“They know why you had to go, and while they miss you, they get it. It doesn’t hurt that you gave them the most epic field day ever, even without being there. ”

“Field day?” I asked, wracking my brain for what she meant. I’d spent weeks trying to get something together, but I’d abandoned it when I got the call about my mom. “What are you talking about?”

Brianna pulled out her phone, showing me pictures of our students playing various games and making crafts out in the back field of our school. My eyes widened. “Is that?”

“Yup.” Brianna beamed back at me. “Almost all the Hawks volunteered to come play games with the kids. They ran a miniature baseball clinic and even brought shirts and balls to sign for everyone.”

“B-but how?” I asked. “I never reached out to the team.”

“Cam,” Victoria said. “He knew you were upset about the kids not having a sendoff for the end of the year, so he pulled some guys together.”

“Yeah, he called the principal and made it happen the very next day,” Brianna added. “The guys were all out there setting up at six in the morning, ready for the kids as soon as they got off the bus.”

I stared at the photos on her phone, swiping through until I found one of Cam.

His wide smile was so genuine, it made my chest ache.

He’d done this for me. He didn’t even call to tell me what he’d done; he just went above and beyond to make sure my kids got the end of the year celebration they deserved.

Fresh tears filled my eyes as realization struck me.

“Oh, I know that look,” Ollie teased. “Please tell me we’re planning some big, romantic statement.” As the other girls turned and stared at her, Ollie just shrugged. “What? You all know you want to see it. Wasn’t that the whole point of coming out here, to bring Hadley home?”

Home. Suddenly, there was nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.

After almost a week of being at my mother’s beck and call, I was done catering to her needs.

As much as it pained me to walk away when she needed someone, it had to be done.

To my mother, I’d been nothing more than a burden, a convenient support when she felt down.

Her love was conditional on what I could do for her, as opposed to the unconditional love of the people surrounding me now.

“Yeah,” I said, handing Brianna back her phone. “I think it’s time I tell Cam how I feel.”

“Because you love my daddy?” Emilia asked.

I leaned down and took her hand in mine. “Yeah, Em. I love him. Is that okay with you?”

She beamed back at me. “Yup. And that’s good, because he told me he loves you too.”

Maybe earlier, her words would have shocked me, when I was too busy doubting my worth to see what was right in front of me.

Now, though, there was no question that Cam loved me.

He’d been showing me all along, but I’d been too jaded to see it.

“Give me a couple of minutes, and then we can get out of here, okay, Em?”

She nodded as I turned down the hall, needing to tell my mother I was leaving. But as I turned the corner into her room, I ran smack into Dr. Leeds. We bounced apart, and my hand flew to my chest, trying to soothe my panicking pulse. “I’m so sorry, doctor.”

“No problem.” He smiled. “I was looking for you. We’re going to discharge your mother today. Between her new medicine regime and some healthier lifestyle choices, she should make a full recovery.”

He handed me a list of her new prescriptions, and my brow furrowed as I read the names. “She’s already on a lot of these meds. Are you increasing the dose?”

Dr. Leeds brow furrowed. “Your mother didn’t disclose she was on any of these medications. Has she been taking them?” I started to answer, but no words came out. Almost all the bottles in my mother’s bag were full. I never second guessed it, assuming she’d just gotten them refilled.

“I-I’m not sure.” My eyes remained glued to the paper in front of me. “If someone prescribed these medications, but she refused to take them, what could happen?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

Unbridled rage danced along my skin. Suddenly, everything snapped into focus—my mother’s evasive answers about her medication, her quieting me every time the doctors stepped into the room.

Ringing sounded in my ears, blocking out all other noises, a sharp awareness of everything my mother had put into motion.

While she might not have guessed the outcome, she had to realize the risks when she stopped taking her prescribed medication.

No wonder she believed I was going to move back home with her.

It’d probably been her plan to begin with.

The realization snipped the last string tying me to my mother.

After a lifetime of living in her shadow, I found the strength to step out of it, needing to get home to my real family.

I handed the papers back to the doctor. “My mother is going to need to find someone else to drive her home. Here.” I opened my wallet and handed a couple of twenties over.

“That should be enough to get her back to the house.”

“Wait,” he called as I turned to walk away. “Where are you going?”

“I’ve spent enough time away from the people I love. I’m going home to them. And after today, you can tell my mother she’s not one of them.”