Page 40

THIRTY-NINE

Guilt churned through my gut as I stared up at the scoreboard. The fans had already fled the stadium, leaving with their heads hung in defeat. The field lights turned off one by one with an audible thud, but the score remained, lighting up our failure for the world to see.

It wasn’t even a close game. We couldn’t pretend that a couple of wrong moves caused the loss. There were so many errors, it was hard to keep track. And a lot of them happened in the outfield, the blame landing squarely on my shoulders.

My whole body sagged as I dropped my head between my knees.

The rest of the team filed out when the umpires called the game, ready to hit the showers and wash away our defeat.

But I remained, looking out at the field, wondering if I just hammered the final nail into my coffin.

A small, pathetic part of me wished other teams would give up after my poor performance.

However, a much larger part of me wanted to earn my place on the Hawks, to prove that I was an asset on the field.

Our social media manager, Melanie, walked out onto the field, her heels clicking in a strange rhythm on the grass. She let out a quick breath when she spotted me. “Oh good, Cam. Weber wants you on camera. Media room in five minutes?”

“Do I have to?” I ran my hand over my face. “I can’t promise I’ll play nice tonight.”

“Try.” Melanie gave me a tight-lipped smile.

With her wavy black hair tucked into a tight bun, and her signature dark red lipstick, she might have looked like a corporate angel, but there was no messing with Melanie’s work.

She was the first one to get players in line and made sure we were cordial with the press.

Without another word, I rushed into the locker room, taking a quick shower before making my way into the media room. The Hawks logo behind the table felt like a mockery, our mascot hung his head in shame.

As the media pestered me with questions, I tried to keep on a placid expression, one that showed my disappointment, but made the fans believe I’d be back in it next game.

But would I have the chance to redeem myself?

Or would there be another closed door meeting in my future, where I was told to pack my stuff and head off to some other city?

After the last reporter finished questioning me, Melanie unceremoniously dropped me back at the locker room, muttering something about wrangling interns as she stomped past.

When I walked inside, my teammates sat silently in front of their lockers.

Normally, we’d chat and talk after the game, whether we won or lost. Each win was celebrated, and the losses were a chance to grow and improve.

Not tonight. Instead, the air in the clubhouse clawed at my throat, heavy as fuck and thick with the sting of this loss.

And sure, there were two more games left in the series, but the first one set the tone.

The Rebels kicked our asses, and we couldn’t even blame it on their superior skills.

I gathered my stuff and muttered a quick goodbye before rushing out to the crowd, hoping that there wouldn’t be too many fans waiting for me.

All I wanted was my girl. Like that ray of sunshine at the end of a rainstorm, Hadley’s face was the first one I saw.

She said nothing as I walked up and pulled her into a tight hug.

No, she just let me hold her, not caring who watched us.

Her nails ran through the back of my hair when my head dropped onto her shoulder, and her spring scent washed all my worries away.

She didn’t say a single word as I held her, didn’t even squirm, even though I held her too tight.

This was something. We were something. No matter what happened next, this thing between us had to be enough to overcome it. Because seeing her here, giving me exactly what I needed, was the best thing that had happened in a long time.

Even if the worst happened, and the Hawks traded me, this brief period would be worth it because I got to be with her.

Hadley pulled back and brushed her fingers along my jaw. “Ready to get out of here?”

I nodded and took her hand. We walked side by side down the hall toward the player parking area.

Once we cleared security, I tugged her back to me and kissed her lips.

Quick, soft. Nothing like what I’d planned to do to her tonight.

But right now, my head was too messed up to even think about anything more.

“About tonight…” I shook my head. “I’m in a shitty fucking mood, Hads. If you want some space?—”

She placed her hand over my mouth. “I don’t care, Cam. If you need space, I’ll give it to you. If you want to beat the crap out of a pillow and gorge yourself in chips and dip, I’ll do that too.” Hadley pulled her hand away, but ran her fingers over my jaw. “Just let me be there for you.”

I took her hand in mine and kissed her fingertips.

How had I been so wrong about this girl?

I wanted to go back and kick my past self for my assumptions about this girl.

Hadley was the opposite of flighty and weak.

She was a well of strength, and instead of hoarding it for herself, she used it to help others.

“You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time, Hadley McKay.

” The words came out quietly, almost like a solemn oath between us.

Her deep ocean eyes flicked up to meet mine, and her mouth fell open.

Maybe it was too much too soon, but I no longer cared.

Everything else in my life was up in the air.

My housing, my career, shit, even the next day, wasn’t guaranteed.

The only thing I knew for sure? I wanted Hadley in my life.

For the longest time, I’d convinced myself that all I needed was Emilia and baseball.

As long as I had those two things, nothing else would matter.

I buried any doubts and loneliness down so deep, even I’d believed the lies.

At least, until Hadley showed back up in my life.

And the moment that we’d connected, all the answers became clear.

It wasn’t about having a person by my side, a nameless person to slide into the role—I needed Hadley.

I reached down and tugged her into my arms. Once Hadley wrapped her arms around my neck, I lifted her up in the air, carrying her over to my truck. She smacked me on the arm. “Cam! Let me down! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Baby, you’re out of your mind if you think that’s the case.

” I placed her in the passenger side of my truck and used my body to cage her in.

She beamed up at me, her lower lip tucked between her teeth.

I used my thumb to loosen it, then traced the indents left behind.

“You sure you want to stay with me? If you’d rather go home, I understand. ”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Cam? You’re not getting rid of me.” She rolled her eyes, but a smile played on the corners of her lips. “Better get to used to having me around, you stubborn ass.”

“Yup,” I smirked as I leaned down to kiss her. “And you have no idea how much I like the sound of that.”

Thankfully, I’d already checked into the hotel before the game, so we avoided the crowds in the hotel lobby.

Word had spread among some fans that some of the team crashed at this hotel on game nights, and the bar was likely already full of people hoping for autographs or more.

Most nights, I didn’t mind. Hell, it was an honor to sign their balls or other mementos from the game.

But tonight, I had zero interest in reliving the evening, recounting all my fuck-ups for the world to tear apart. I just wanted to be alone with Hadley.

As the elevator doors closed, she let out a quiet sigh, and I reached out and took her hand. Even with just the two of us, she didn’t breathe easily until the doors opened and she scurried off into the hall.

I took an extra second to watch her walk away. After a few steps, Hadley paused, realizing I wasn’t with her. She turned back to me with an uneasy grin. “You okay, Cam?”

No. Not even a little. The trade conversation had fucked up my head, and there was nothing else I could do. It hung over my head like an axe. Every time my phone jostled with a message, I bristled, wondering if this was the moment everything changed .

But as I stared at Hadley with her welcoming smile, and for the first time, I wondered if it was all worth it.

If I’d be willing to give it all up for her and Emilia.

What would life be like if I weren’t a baseball player?

I’d never imagined doing anything else, but it might be time to reconsider.

If playing the game meant another five years of moving around the country, never sure when I’d see my family again, then I wasn’t sure I could do it.

Hadley’s brow furrowed, staring at me like she knew where my thoughts had wandered.

I swallowed, the weight of my words settling heavily on my tongue.

All I wanted was to tell her the truth, to lay everything on the line.

But everything was so new, and I didn’t know where Hadley stood.

She’d already proven to be a flight risk, and I didn’t want to push her until she was all in like me.

So instead of laying all my secrets at her feet, I stepped off the elevator and took her hand, expecting her to lead me down to the room. But even as I moved, she stayed planted in the same spot, tugging me until I had no choice but to pause as well.

“I’m fine, Hadley.”

“No, you’re not.” Her voice hushed but soothing. She reached out with her spare hand and ran her fingers along my jaw. “Is it about the game?”

I forced myself to nod, even though she’d broken me out of that haze when I found her waiting for me outside of the locker room.

But how did I explain I was already mapping out our future break-up when she still hadn’t committed to me?

Sure, she’d reluctantly admit to being mine, but we’d never discussed anything beyond the next moment.

No talks of the future, no confessions that made me think she wanted more.

“I'm trying to shake it off,” I said. “Haven’t played that crappy in a long time, and it’s taking me longer than I’d like. I’m sorry I ruined our date night.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, Cam.” Hadley’s hand tugged mine until I met her eyes. They softened as she smiled up at me. “I don’t need anything fancy. I just want you, sarge. Everything else is just extra.”

“I’m dragging you down with me, Hads. You should call Ollie, see if she wants to hang out tonight. She’s gonna be better company than me.”

“Cameron Seda.” Hadley released my hand and placed her own on her hips. She glared up at me, her nose crinkled in annoyance. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No.” The word flew out of my mouth, even though it was selfish of me. I wanted her here with me, wanted to soak in her honey and sunshine scent for as long as she’d let me.

“Then stop telling me to go.” Hadley poked her finger into my chest. “I want to be here for you, Cam. So goddamnit, let me! Or did you think I only stuck around for the great sex?”

I started to answer, but she put her fingers up to my mouth to silence me.

“Cam, I care about you. And that means I’m sticking around through all of it.

The wins, and yeah, the shitty losses.” She pulled her fingers away, but dragged them along my jaw.

“So let me be there for you, Cam. Trust me to be a safe place for you to land.”

There were no words that could summarize the fluttering in my chest. Maybe it wasn’t everything, but it was enough.

With the way Hadley stared at me, there was no way she wasn’t falling just as hard as me.

It might have taken us years to find our way, but now that we had, no force on earth could get me to leave this girl’s side.

I dropped my bag at my feet and cupped my hands on Hadley’s hips, lifting her up into the air.

She giggled as she wrapped her arms and legs around me.

My mouth claimed hers, leaving no question about how I felt.

Because this girl was mine, and I’d do anything in my power to keep us together, to return the favor, and always be her safe place to land.

I pulled back, searching her expression with a sly smile. “Great sex?”

“Of course that’s what you’d hold onto.” Hadley rolled her eyes. “Yes, sarge. Great sex. Amazing even. Is that what you want to hear?”

“It’s a start.” I reached down and grabbed my bag, but kept Hadley in my arms. “Rather hear you screaming my name right now, menace.”

Her eyes widened as my steps quickened. “I thought you said you weren’t in the mood?”

“Changed my mind.” I shrugged. “Besides, if anything in this world can make me feel better, it’s you, naked in front of me, begging for my cock.”