Page 28

TWENTY-SEVEN

My hand flew to my chest, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat.

I’d expected good sex with Cam, but it wasn’t supposed to be this life-altering.

The way he moved inside me, the way he spoke so filthily while holding me like I was the most precious thing in the world to him, it all combined into the most mind-blowing experience in my life.

There was no way I’d ever be able to wipe it from my memories.

Which only meant one thing—we could not do that again.

Not because I didn’t want to. No, something monumental had shifted inside me, like the pieces of a puzzle fitting together for the first time. Nothing in my life had ever been so good—so right. All I wanted was to crawl into his arms and never let him go.

Maybe it was na?ve, but a small part of me hoped the sex would be terrible so I could push Cam out of my mind, convince myself this whole thing was nothing more than a misguided crush, fueled by our proximity and the way he filled out his baseball pants.

We’d fuck, then move on, and life would go on like before.

Now that I’d known his touch? Heard his gravelly voice commanding my body like he knew what I wanted? I’d never erase his impact on me. He would be forever etched inside me.

Which was why it could not happen again.

Cam must have read the panic crashing through my mind, because he made no attempt to fulfill the other half of his promise.

Instead, as soon as we were finished, Cam retreated into the bathroom, giving me a moment to clear my mind.

However, he could have stayed out of the room for a thousand years, and it still wouldn’t have been enough time to compose my racing thoughts.

My pulse thundered when Cam walked out of the bathroom, holding a washcloth in his grip.

He brushed the terrycloth material between my tender thighs.

It was gentle, such a stark contrast from how he fucked me, it almost made me weep.

I loved the sex, but how he took care of me now was almost better.

More intimate. He kissed my quaking thighs, moving up my body until he cradled me in his arms.

Cam searched my expression and must have noted the uncertainty still lurking in my eyes.

“Don’t pull away from me now, menace,” he whispered as he leaned down to kiss me.

I shook my head, not trusting my words. My emotions were so jumbled, as likely to hand over my heart as I was to tell him off.

When he pulled back, he frowned. “What’s going on, Hadley? ”

I bit my lip, trying to put my thoughts into concrete words. Nothing seemed to tie down my emotions, as if they were just wisps in the wind. Cam just waited, not moving away from me but giving me time to plan my next words. “I feel guilty,” I finally said. “Victoria?—”

“Has nothing to do with this.” Cam rolled away from me.

It hurt, knowing he’d just begged me not to pull away, only for him to do moments later.

Tension radiated off him, decimating the quiet peace we’d had moments earlier.

I hated it. The moment he backed away, I wanted to rush to him, already missing the warmth of his skin.

I forced myself to stay in one place, watching him as I bunched the sheets in my fist. He climbed off the bed and started pacing.

“This is about us, Hadley. No one else.”

“There is no us.” I sat up on my knees. “There can’t be, Cam. Not with all the history between you and Tori.”

“So she can move on, but I’m supposed to stay tethered to her?

” he bit out. Pain laced his words, and my heart stuttered in my chest. Oh my God, had I gotten it all wrong?

I could have sworn Cam was over Victoria.

What if he held out hope, only biding his time until Victoria and Adam either made things official or fell apart?

I clutched the sheet over my bare chest, feeling sick to my stomach. Sleeping with my best friend’s ex was bad enough. I’d only crossed that line because there was a deep connection between us. If it meant nothing to him?—

“Don’t, Hadley.” Cam moved back to the side of the bed and brushed his fingers over my cheek. I hadn’t realized I’d started crying until his fingers came away damp. “Don’t question what happened between us. If you think this has anything to do with Vic, you’re wrong.”

I shook my head. “If you’re not over her?—”

“I want you , Hadley. Only you.” He brought my hand up to his chest. “I loved Vic, and part of me always will because she gave me Emilia. But we’re family. I haven’t looked at her like that in years.” He shook his head. “And now, with you…”

The small, insecure girl in my mind called out. “What about me?”

Cam’s umber eyes searched mine, everything I didn’t want to give a voice to reflected in his expression.

This connection, no matter what I tried to tell myself, was not a one-sided thing.

I’d embedded myself inside him, like he’d done to me.

He pulled my hand away and kissed my open palm, then placed it on his chest. “You’re different, Hadley.

Whatever this is, it's not going away after one night together. If anything, having you made it worse.” He pulled back, his expression pleading. “Tell me you feel this too.”

I wanted to. God, I wanted to. I wanted to leap into his arms and tell him to never let me go.

For so long, I’d been searching for a place to belong, convinced some magical spot in the world would cure my restless heart.

After years of searching, I found a family, a job I loved, and even a small, borrowed place to call my own—almost all thanks to Victoria.

“I do,” I whispered. “But it doesn’t matter. You might be over her, but she is still my best friend. No matter how you two feel about each other now, I betrayed her tonight. It can’t happen again, Cam. I won’t hurt her like this.”

“And if she’s okay with us?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I answered. “I’m not okay with it. Yes, there’s something between us, Cam, but we need to let it go. Tonight can’t happen again.”

Cam just stared at me, fierce determination filling his expression. I expected him to fight, to push me into admitting my fears. God help me, part of me wanted that, wanted him to refuse to let me go without a fight.

Instead, Cam just nodded and started grabbing his clothes.

“If that’s what you want, Hadley, I’ll respect it.

” After he pulled his shirt over his head, he stepped closer and pressed his thumb under my chin.

“But don’t waste your time lying to yourself.

This wasn’t a one-time thing. There’s a connection between us, and it’s not going away, no matter how much you want to deny it.

When you’re done fighting us, I’ll be here, waiting for you to catch up. ”

With a featherlight kiss to my lips, Cam left the room, leaving me alone to wonder what I’d done.