Page 46

FORTY-FIVE

I stared through the windshield of my truck, waiting as the clock ticked down.

There were only a couple more minutes until Emilia got out of school, but the quiet was too much.

A country song hummed on the radio, and parents chatted in the other pickup line, but none of it was enough to soothe the ache in my chest. I’d spent the last couple of years alone, but I’d never been this lonely, not since Hadley walked out the door without a promise to return.

Fuck, I missed her. For too long, I took her presence for granted, not realizing how much I needed her in my life. She was the warmth, the reason for most of my smiles, and the person who mattered most, alongside my daughter.

The sound of giggles broke through the noise of my truck, and my eyes darted up, finding a hoard of kids exiting the school.

It took a couple minutes, but Emilia came running outside, beaming when she saw me waiting.

I hopped out of the truck, moving to the passenger side.

She ran over to me and jumped into my waiting arms.

She pulled back, pressing her small hands into my cheeks. “Daddy! You don’t have a game today? ”

“Not tonight. Mommy and Adam are at the house, but I wanted to grab ice cream with you before heading back. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” She smiled. “With extra sprinkles?”

“If that’s what you want, Ems."

I lifted her into the back seat and buckled her into her booster.

After I climbed into the driver’s seat, I grabbed my phone, opening my music streaming app to pull up Emilia’s favorite playlist. But as I pressed the button, a call came through the speakers.

My heart pumped a little faster when I saw Hadley’s name.

It had been five days since we’d spoken, five days since she walked away from me.

All I wanted was to run to her, but she’d made it clear she didn’t want that.

Right now, she needed to focus on her mother, and I’d be a distraction.

I cleared my throat as I pressed the answer button. “Hey, Hadley.”

“Cam…” she said, her voice almost pained. It broke my heart to hear her whisper my name like that, giving me hope she missed me just as much as I missed her. “Ho-how are you?”

“Not that great,” I admitted. “Missing a certain menace in my life.”

“I miss you too. So much.” She sighed, and the defeated sound broke me. “Are you with Emilia?”

“Yeah,” I said, looking into the rearview mirror and motioning for Emilia to unbuckle and come closer. “Just picked her up from school.”

“Hi, Auntie Hadley!” My daughter beamed up at the screen. “Daddy’s taking me for ice cream.”

“That sounds incredible, Emilia Bedelia. Are you going to get strawberry or cookies and cream?”

“Cookies and cream,” my daughter answered. “With lots of sprinkles.”

“Man, you’re making me jealous, kid. All I’ve been eating is hospital food, and trust me, it’s not the best.” She huffed a humorless laugh through the phone, and I gripped the steering wheel, wishing I had her in front of me right now. “How’s Laila?”

“She’s good,” I said. “Emilia’s been taking great care of her. I’ve been sneaking pieces of meat into her bowl, so I’m taking your place as her favorite.”

“I’ll remember that,” Hadley mused. As I started to tell her how much I missed her, another voice broke through the line, more urgent and hushed. Hadley groaned. “Cam, can I call you back later? The doctor has an update for us.”

“Any time, Hads. I’m here whenever you need me.”

Without another word, the line clicked off, the silence deafening. I dropped my head and ran my hand over my face. The distance never felt like a bigger hurdle, as if every day Hadley was gone, she slipped further away from me.

Emilia climbed into the front seat and sat on the center console. She placed her head on my shoulder, her soft sigh echoing my own. “I miss Hadley, Daddy.”

“Me too, kiddo.”

She looked up at me, her brown eyes wide, blinking back tears. “Do you think she’ll come home soon?”

I pulled a breath through my teeth, warring with the choice to lie to my daughter or tell her a heartbreaking truth.

I didn’t know if Hadley was coming back.

If her lack of communication was any sign, then she wouldn’t be returning soon.

She’d left everything behind, including us, and it stung more than I ever thought it would.

How dare she make me fall in love with her, only to disappear from my life?

From our limited conversations about her mother, I’d figured out they had a complicated dynamic.

The woman seemed like a narcissist, using her daughter as more of a bargaining chip than her pride and joy.

I reached my arm around Emilia, holding her close to me.

My heart broke for that younger version of Hadley, the one who dreamed of having a family, only to have the door shut on her every time.

Despite all the harm her mother caused, she still opened up to us—let us into her world and her heart.

“She’s coming back,” I said to Emilia. The words might not have been the full truth, but it was the one I held on to. I wasn’t giving her the option. Hadley McKay stole my heart, collecting the different pieces until she held the whole thing in her hand. “She’s going to come back to us.”

“Because you love her?” Emilia smirked up at me, too much awareness in her expression for a six-year-old.

“Yeah, baby. I love Hadley.” I ran my fingers through her thick brown curls. “Almost as much as I love you.”

“Mommy says if you love someone, you should always tell them.” She narrowed her gaze at me. “Have you told Hadley you love her?”

I chuckled as I shook my head. “Not yet, Em.”

She shook her head. “Oh, Daddy. First, we’re getting ice cream. Then, we need to make a plan.”

I furrowed my brow as she climbed back into her booster seat and buckled herself in. Looking back in the rearview mirror, I stared at my daughter, whose brow creased again in deep concentration. “A plan for what?”

She shook her head, as if I was trying the last bit of her patience. “For you to tell Auntie Hadley you love her.”

Later that night, after I tucked an exhausted Emilia into bed, I headed down the stairs.

Sleep had eluded me over the past week, my bed feeling cold now that Hadley wasn’t lying next to me.

As I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, someone stepped up and tapped my shoulder.

I almost jumped out of my skin as I turned to find Victoria behind me.

“Shit, Vic. You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry, I called out to you, but you seemed too distracted to hear me.” Her brow furrowed as she took in my tired expression. “Heading outside?”

“Yeah.” I ran my hand over my eyes. “Can’t get to sleep just yet.”

“C’mon.” She nodded over her shoulder. “I’ll keep you company.”

As we stepped out onto the back porch, I let out a long exhale, taking in the world's beauty.

With summer officially started, the sky was taking its time turning to night, leaving behind lines of dark reds and pinks across the valley.

Victoria settled onto one of the Adirondack chairs while I took the other, letting the tranquility wash over me.

Victoria turned and stared at me. “Do you want to talk about it, or are you going to keep brooding?”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head back. “I’m not brooding. I’m…contemplating.”

“Ah, is that what we’re calling it now?” Victoria let out a little huff. “Have you talked to Hadley?”

“For about ten seconds. She called earlier, but she needed to talk to her mom’s doctor. Tried to call back, but it went right into voicemail. ”

Victoria hummed at my side. Her fingers tapped along the side of her mug, a rhythm to accompany her thoughts.

We sat easily in the silence, the kind forged by years of friendship, love, and everything in between.

Once, I was sure Victoria was the love of my life, but now that I’d been with Hadley, I knew the difference.

Victoria was a cozy comfort, the kind you sought on a cold winter’s night.

Hadley was a raging wildfire, consuming every part of me until all I saw was her.

Victoria and I slipped easily back into the role of friends, like that was always what we were meant to be. With Hadley, there was no way I’d ever be able to be her friend, unable to stand at her side without holding her close.

“I don’t know what to do, Vic.”

My shaky voice broke the silence between us.

She turned and smiled at me, the soft kind, filled with empathy.

“Has Hadley told you about her mom?” I nodded.

“I don’t want to speak out of turn, but the woman did a real number on Hadley.

She made her think she ruined her life, that Hadley caused all her pain.

She doesn’t trust that someone can love her—at least, not the authentic version of herself.

Hadley hides a lot behind smiles and sunshine because she doesn’t believe she’s worth the effort. ”

“She’s worth more than that.” My voice took a hardened turn, grateful I hadn’t gone to the hospital with Hadley. There was no way I could look at that woman, after everything she’d done to the woman I loved, with a smile on my face.

“You and I both know that, but it takes time with Hadley.” Victoria leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Do you love her?”

“Yes.” I answered without hesitation, without an ounce of fear. “Pretty sure she’s it for me, Vic.”

“Then you need to prove it, and not just with grand gestures, though, trust me, Hadley would love those too. She needs someone who is going to see her, who will support her even when she doesn’t ask.” She smirked over at me. “And remember—if you hurt her, I will have to kill you.”

I grinned. “You’re supposed to defend me, Vic.”

“Eh.” She shrugged. “You might be Emilia’s father, but Hadley’s my soul sister. She’s the other half of me, and if you were to mess this up, I’d have to seriously consider murdering you.”

I thought about her words, running through all the stuff Hadley had confided in me without asking for help.

But there was already a list in my head of ways I wanted to help, wanted to make sure all her dreams came true.

An idea from last week wiggled into the front of my brain, and I turned toward Victoria.

“Hey, what can you tell me about Sunshine Academy?”