Page 19

EIGHTEEN

“Fuck,” I groaned, leaning back into my chair.

Every muscle ached after two brutal, back-to-back series.

The first three games were easy wins. The other team deserved their bottom ranking in the national league.

We’d swept through them with little effort, ending the series with three wins to their zero.

But the second set was against our west coast rivals.

As two of the four new teams in the major leagues, both groups were determined to get the win.

We’d gone into game three tied, but they’d taken us in the last game.

Even with the loss, I was pretty proud. We left nothing on the field tonight, and my body was going to be sore for days.

At least the seat was pretty fucking comfortable.

When I played on the minor league team back home, I hated travel days.

It always meant piling into a coach bus, listening to the guys snore and talk shit for hours on end.

Don’t get me wrong—I loved the team aspect.

Nothing bonded you like dealing with a broken bus bathroom during an eight-hour ride.

If only those guys saw me now.

I leaned back in my seat, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was on the team plane . A fucking chartered plane, all to ourselves. It was one of the most surreal moments of my career.

There were a lot of similarities about playing in the major and minor leagues.

The team aspect, the game itself. But the pressure weighed on my shoulders.

With the bigger paycheck came higher expectations, for the entire team but even more for us new guys who’d just made the move up the ladder.

While it happened often, no one wanted to get sent back down to the minors.

Teams changed constantly, especially with the trade deadline in the middle of the summer.

Every manager and owner wanted to secure the best line-up to get a shot at the playoffs.

Have one off-game? You could come back from that.

But if you let the pressure build and got into a slump, that was it—the end of the road for your major league career.

And shit, was that a heavy burden to carry.

So far, we’d gotten off to a decent start, but we had a ways to go if we wanted to make it into the playoffs.

Even with our losses in California, we had more ticks in the win column than the loss one.

Still, we could do better. We’d yet to face some of the more established teams, legacies that ran deep.

It made my teeth clench, knowing we had so much fucking potential on our side.

We’d make it all the way if we got on the same page.

I glanced to the back of the plane, watching as Jace pounded shots with the outfielders.

He was a wildcard, and you never knew what energy he’d bring onto the field.

The games when he acted like a teammate, we made magic on the field.

But on other nights, when he had an axe to grind, it was like wading through sludge, sloppy moves and uncoordinated plays.

Even with Drobrek on first and Damien on third, I needed Jace to stop the other team from scoring runs.

I looked over at Anders, huddled with Coach as they played back the last game footage. I watched what they saw, not remembering half the plays. Instincts took over when I was on the field. I played well, determined to go home with the win.

All because of one fucking text.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, staring at my background photo. Emilia smirked over her shoulder, her back covered in one of my old tee-ball jerseys, our last name displayed across her back. And then, there was Hadley’s message.

MENACE

Rooting for you back home. Knock ‘em dead, sarge.

I pushed the phone back into my pocket, forcing my mind away from the blonde who infiltrated every aspect of my life.

I’d left the day after Victoria, hoping the space would help me clear my head.

It was a complete failure. If anything, the distance between us made me want her even more.

I couldn’t escape her. In my thoughts, on my phone, everywhere I went, my mind turned to Hadley.

“You okay over there, man?” Damien asked. He pulled out an earbud as he leaned across the aisle to check on me.

“Yeah,” I huffed, trying to push Hadley out of my mind. “Just thinking about the games this weekend. Made a couple of rookie mistakes last night, and I need to make sure they don’t happen again.”

Damien grinned while he leaned against the headrest. “You and me both, brother. But all we can do is focus on the next one, right? We always get our shit together at home. Try focusing on something other than the game for the night, man.”

“Fucking hope so,” I grumbled. Easy for him to say. But then again, he wasn’t fixated on his ex’s best friend. Baseball was the safe topic—the one thing in my control.

He turned over to me. “You coming out with us when we get back? Some of the guys are hitting up this new bar downtown.”

“Nah,” I said. “Gotta get home to my kid. Missed her like crazy.” I looked over at my new teammate who’d become my friend. “But have fun, man. Looking to meet someone?”

“Nah, not for me.” He shook his head. “That shit’s too hard during the season. Gotta give everything to the game, you know? No one’s going to get in the way of that.”

“I get it.”

“So no to the bar?”

“Not tonight,” I said as I closed my eyes. “Maybe next time.”

It was almost dawn by the time I walked through the front door.

Maybe getting an apartment in the city wouldn’t be the worst idea.

I’d have to wait until Victoria got back, but it wouldn’t hurt to look, find a place to spend my nights when I didn’t have Emilia.

My ultimate plan was to get a house a little closer to her, but a smaller crash-pad in the city for late nights like this one wouldn’t hurt.

The house was silent as I crept through the hallways, stopping when I saw the television on in the living room.

I walked over and grabbed the remote, hitting the off button before I found Hadley curled up on the couch.

Test papers laid scattered all around her, some graded in a pink, sparkly pen, others still blank.

I smirked as I leaned down and gathered the ones that had fallen to the floor.

Hadley made sense as a teacher. When she first mentioned it, I didn’t know if it would be a good fit.

She was too wild, too unpredictable. But after watching her with Emilia for years, I’d learned that was only one side of her.

Hadley had this way about her, a graceful patience I’d never emulate.

She’d always show Emilia how to do things on her own, guiding and correcting her but letting my daughter discover new skills for herself.

It helped Emilia when she got to school.

She wasn’t afraid to take risks or try something outside her comfort zone.

All because of Hadley.

The fearless, willful woman who was becoming my obsession.

After dropping the papers on the table, I ran my hand over my face.

I was not this guy. I didn’t get obsessed—especially about a woman.

Emilia and baseball. Those were the only things that mattered.

I barely had enough time for those two things, much less a relationship.

Hadley shuddered in her sleep, her face scrunching up.

She shivered, and for a moment, I thought about draping a blanket over her and leaving her on the couch, but she squirmed against the cushions like she couldn’t get comfortable enough.

Fuck it. I reached down and pulled her gently into my arms, letting her head settle against my chest. A soft hint of her shampoo hit my nose, the smell soft and intriguing.

Floral, fresh. It reminded me of opening days and quiet spring mornings.

When I took a step toward the stairs, Hadley stirred in my arms. Her brow furrowed with confusion as she looked up at me, her eyes out of focus, like she still slept.

“Cam?” Her voice crackled. “What are you doing?”

“Putting you to bed,” I said. “Close your eyes, Hadley. I’ve got you.”

Normally, something like that would have caused her to lash out, reminding me she didn’t need anyone to take care of her. Instead, Hadley just nodded, her head returning to the crook of my neck. Her soft breaths graced my skin, and I had to shake my head to still the images crashing into my mind.

Holding Hadley was a mistake. Her body was too soft, the curves that always called to me too close.

She’d made plenty of comments about her body before, especially how she filled out clothes, but I loved her curves, such a contrast to her sharp personality.

It was an intoxicating combination that made my head spin.

Lately, I’d been obsessed with wondering what it’d be like to guide her full hips as she rode me, my fingers soft enough not to hurt but tight enough to leave marks on her skin.

I pushed open Victoria’s bedroom door and placed Hadley down on the bed.

She’d stayed here plenty of nights, but the room held none of Hadley’s stuff.

It was all mementos of Victoria and Adam’s life together.

Emilia was a frequent addition in the photos, but most were just the two of them.

Looking around the room, I expected to feel a pang of nostalgia, longing for what might have been.

Instead, the woman lying on the bedspread drew me in, consuming all my thoughts.

I walked over to the bed and grabbed the blanket at the foot, then draped it over Hadley.

She smiled in her sleep. I put that image away for later, wanting to remember the content smile when she hated me tomorrow.

Without thinking, I reached down, brushed a couple of her blonde waves away from her face, and kissed her forehead.

Don’t ask me why I did it. I had no fucking idea. But I couldn’t stop myself.

When Hadley got settled, I went upstairs and peeked my head inside my daughter’s room.

She slept in her bed, clutching another stuffy in her little arms. I sat on the edge of her mattress and ran my fingers through her hair.

She must have sensed me, because she opened a sleepy eye.

When she realized it was me, she bolted up and smiled. “Daddy, you’re home!”

“Yeah, baby. Sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay,” she yawned. “I missed you.”

“Missed you more, kiddo. Did you have fun with Auntie Hadley?”

“So much fun,” Emilia said as she leaned back against her pillows. “We made a present for Mommy and Adam. Hadley let me use the grown-up markers and everything.”

“Glad you had fun, Em.” As her eyes fluttered closed, I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

No matter how much I wanted to crawl to my bed, I wasn’t ready to leave her side.

Five more minutes. That was all I needed.

After almost a week without my daughter, I wanted a couple more minutes to hold her as she slept.

At least, that’s what I told myself before my eyes closed as well.