Page 52 of Sin & Fall
Out of nowhere, I ask, “Would you follow me to eternity, no matter where it was?”
Her lips part, and her eyes that are already blown out get wider like she can see right through the cosmos to our ending. A tear forms in the corner of her eye, and I catch it on my thumb, bringing it to my lips to steal another part of her for my own greedy collection.
“You say that as if you know you’ll die first.”
Laughing lightly, I give her a soft smile.
“I say it because I’m selfish. As much of a little sinner as you are, you’re also far too good. There’s nothing wrong with who you are. I’m sorry for saying those things before. You’re perfect and so fucking brave to still be able to smile after everything. Chloe, you’re far stronger than me. That’s why I need to know that whatever comes next, you’ll come find me when you’re ready.”
As I stroke her cheek, tears wet my palm. “I promise, you’ll always have me,” she sobs.
“Thank you.” I pull her close and kiss her. It feels different this time. Like it’s the last time.
When I start to pull away, she holds tighter to me. “Don’t go.”
We stay together, the time passing us by kept by the synchronized beating of our hearts.
After a while, Chloe rolls over and strokes her fingers up the tattoo on my stomach. “What do your tattoos mean?”
“Which ones?”
She throws a look to my hands, and I brace myself for her answer.
But she seems to change her mind. “All of them.”
Avoiding the most painful reminders on my skin, I slip my jacket off and point to a safe one on my side. “This one’s from a video game.”
Chewing on her lip, Chloe sits up next to me and squints at the three golden triangles. She traces her fingers around the edges. “I think I recognize it from somewhere.”
“Impressive, they taught you shapes at the convent,” I tease, and she shoves me.
“I had a life before the convent, jackass.” She laughs. “I do remember it! It’s a Triforce fromThe Legend of Zelda. Mom got me a games machine for my tenth birthday. It was dented since she couldn’t afford a new one, but it was the best thing ever back then. I borrowed so many games from my friends at school, and sometimes Mom would find discounted ones when she could afford them. If she wasn’t working on the weekends, she’d spend the time playing them with me. I’d actually forgotten all about that. Thank you for reminding me.”
She leans against my shoulder and weaves her fingers through mine. Her thumb strokes my knuckles, right over the numbers there. I can feel the question burning off her. But she doesn’t ask it.
Instead, Chloe tells me stories of her life at the convent. Each one makes me more angry for her. Even the nicer ones. I don’t have first-hand experience with religion like she does, but what she’s describing sounds exactly like a cult. They made her too blind to see the reality of it.
“Chloe, darlin’.”
“Hmm?” She blinks a few times, her responses slow.
There’s no easy way to tell her the truth, so I go for blunt honesty. “You weren’t at a convent. All that shit they did wasn’t normal. It was a cult.”
“I—No—It was definitely a convent. My mom picked it out. No one was to know it was infested with corruption. But a cult?”
“Whether it was a group of random men in robes or actual priests who decided to prey on the vulnerable makes no difference.”
Her resistance to the truth fades quickly. Deep down she has to know it’s true.
“Earlier you told me why you didn’t fight them. But, darlin’, you did. Every day you didn’t let them twist you into being what they wanted was you fighting them.”
She swallows thickly and looks from the sky to me. Her high seems to be helping her process this more easily.
“I need to show you something.”
My gut ties itself up in knots as Chloe slips her shoes off.
“I don’t have tattoos, but I do have something permanent on my skin. This is what I had to get once I became a Sister. The others went through the same. It’s meant to connect us directly to God. I knew a lot of what I went through wasn’t normal, but I had no one to tell me otherwise. I was just a kid.”