Page 14 of Sin & Fall
“Thought you nuns would be used to being on your knees.”
It’s painful and humiliating. But I can’t help admiring the way he takes control. I’m amazed by how easy it is for him to not care about anything. Imagine going through life like that, taking what you want and never having to bend for fear of being hurt.
By the time we reach the gas station, every part of me hurts, and I’m relieved to see the dingy building.
The fire exit is still open, and Zack lets me get to my feet to head inside. After he kicks the door shut behind us, he leads me to an exposed metal pipe on the wall. I’m forced to sit down on the grimy floor that seems to be part of the dead man’s makeshift kitchen area, and Zack connects my bound wrists to the pipe with another zip tie.
The stench of stale beer and body odor is heavy in the air. I’m so glad I didn’t have to have the owner’s dick in my mouth.
The room is clearly meant to be a storage space for the gas station, but the guy must have been living here as there’s an armchair in front of the TV, and an army cot in the corner. His belongings are a mess everywhere. Clothes hang over most of the surfaces, and there are open cans of food littered among the boxes of stock for the store out front.
“Wait there for me,” Zack calls out before stepping back outside. Like I have any other choice. I’m too far away from anything that I could use as a tool, and the extra zip tie around the pipe is held tight. All I can do is sit and wait while the blood and come dries onto my skin. An uncomfortable reminder of my place in the world.
A little while later, the door is kicked open, and I only just manage to suppress my scream before Zack steps insidewith the body slumped over his shoulder. “Honey, I’m home!” he calls out without looking my way. His focus is on the armchair facing the TV, where he heads to prop the body up in the seat. The guy’s face is now unrecognizable. It’s smashed inwards, like someone took a rock to it.
As if he doesn’t have a care in the world, Zack grabs the remote and starts flicking through the TV channels.
“What are you doing?”
Ignoring me, he throws the remote onto the man’s lap and starts sifting through the DVDs piled up beneath the TV, opening each one, and tossing them carelessly aside. Then he ransacks the rest of the room, opening up any boxes and drawers he can find.
“I’ll find it, alright? I promised.”
“What are you looking for? If you untie me, I could help.” My words don’t seem to register.
When he tips over the bed, he finds a metal lock box stashed beneath it. He takes it to the coffee table and uses the blunt end of his knife handle to bust the lock off.
“Told you I would. You can stop crying now.”
What’s he on about? I’m not crying.
I crane my neck for a glimpse at what’s inside the box. Is that a video tape? It looks like it could be a home movie as a date is written in thick black ink on yellowing tape on the front. Zack holds it up, his face empty of emotion as he stares at it.
He takes it to the TV, and puts it in the video player. I can’t see the screen from where he’s standing in front of it, but I hear muffled sobs and grunts followed by laughter.
“What’s on that?” I ask, and Zack startles, suddenly realizing I’m still here. He grabs the bulky television, rips it from its wires, and tosses it against the wall. The screen cracks beyond repair.
“Why the hell did you do that?” I shout. Once more, he ignores me. But this time, he knows I’m here as his muscles remain tense. He snatches the video tape from the player and drops it, smashing it under his boot until it’s unusable. Then he turns to me with brimstone burning in his eyes.
“Why aren’t you running?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I tug at the ties.
“You shouldn’t fucking be here.”
“Oh, you really think so?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “You’re not even crying. I just slit open a man’s throat all over you.”
The truth is I’m scared shitless. I’ve done things tonight I never imagined myself capable of. But I’m a survivor, and I know how to handle myself around bad men.
I bite down on my bottom lip so Zack can’t see it trembling, but even when he’s clearly still high he catches the movement.
Dark blue eyes see straight through to my soul.Blue.They’re no longer the deadly black eyes of the monster the night painted him as. Now that we’re in the light, I can see the real him. He’s just a blue-eyed boy, angry at something, and taking it out on the world.On me.
“Like you said, you’ll only make it worse for me if I run.” I don’t tell him that staying with him might be my best and only option to actually get out of town.
I refuse to live my life in servitude to a bunch of monsters, and I’ll do anything to keep myself from being dragged back to that nightmare of a place I fled.