Page 25

I turn, making another pass in front of my throne that sits to the right of my parents. The hall is empty, and has been for hours, but I can't bring myself to leave. Where will I go? What will I do? I have no idea how to fix this.

Serena didn't come to breakfast this morning, not that I imagined she would after last night. She was already tucked into bed between Sol and Blair when I got back, and she hasn't so much as looked at me since then.

I don't want to fight with her, but I know how stubborn she is. I know she won't listen; she never does.

Why can't she see that I'm only trying to look out for her?

Does she have a death wish?

"While I believe the castle was built well, I'm unsure if it can handle you pacing for much longer without consequences.

" I snap my head up to find my mother standing a few feet away near the now empty tables that we use for meals.

Her words are playful and teasing, but I can see that her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes the way it once did.

Being the queen is a heavy burden when done correctly, because it's not about you but your people. For my mother, that now includes Serena's other mates, not to mention the fact that she always looked at Serena as the daughter she didn't have.

I don't have children, at least not yet, maybe not ever, with the way the world is right now, but I can't imagine watching their heartbreak and being helpless to stop it. For the first time in my life, I've found an answer my mother doesn't have, and that's terrifying.

But maybe she can at least help me understand or find a way to approach Serena.

What's the worst that could happen? At this point, everything I've tried has ended in disaster.

I can't lose her, not again. I'd be willing to do just about anything to make sure that doesn't happen. Even going to my mother for advice about a girl, something I never thought I would have to do.

"What's wrong? You know I might be the Queen, but I'm your mother first." This time her smile is more genuine, and despite my problems, I can't help but return it, even if it's only half-hearted.

I stop pacing, dropping down into her throne, something that anyone else might reprimand. She doesn't so much as bat an eye, instead more worried about my problem than a piece of furniture or a title.

Serena would be a queen worthy of taking over for her.

She's the only one I can think of that deserves to take her place, and not just because she's my mate.

No, she's built the same way as my mother.

She worries about everyone around her because that's who she is, not because it's what's expected of her.

I'd known since the moment I met her that Serena would be my everything, my queen. She's the only one I would let sit beside me, even before we were bonded, and now… I'd kill anyone who dared try and take her place.

But in order for her to be my queen, she needs to survive.

"Serena has a death wish. Last night, I followed her into the woods, the Forgotten Forest. She went alone to look for Lyle, and she found him!

" I rub a hand down my face as my imagination assaults me with wonderful ideas of might could have happened had he stumbled upon her.

"She won't give up, Mom, and I get it. I searched for her for years, but this isn't the same, and she knows it. "

I'm yelling, my voice echoing off the high ceilings of the room, but it's got nothing to do with her as my mother, and one look at her lets me know she doesn't take offense. She always seems to understand, and I know she has no issue putting me in my place should she have a problem with something.

"It seems the same to me."

Wait, what?

There's no way I heard her correctly… right?

"What?" I force the word out through my confusion because surely I've misunderstood.

With a chuckle and a shake of her head, she moves to the front of the table, pulling herself up to sit on it, facing me. I'm sure some would think it's not very 'queenly' behavior, but something about it calms me down. Right now, she's just my mother.

"She loves him. She loves all of them, and they love her.

You told me yourself the reason Lyle was turned was because he took the hit for you.

We all know what losing a mate can do, and though they might not have seen it, well, it's not hard to imagine.

Lyle knew what that would do to Serena." Her lips pull down in a frown, and I see the sadness that swims in her eyes.

I wasn't lying when I said I wish there was a way to save him.

He was meant to be bonded to my bonded. It doesn't hurt the same way for me, but it's painful, nonetheless.

"But he can't be saved. We've tried everything and then some for years.

If there was a way to save them, to reverse what Draven does, we would have found it by now.

Our people wouldn't have had to die because of him.

" I'm standing, staring down at her, my voice harsher than I mean it to be.

I shake my head, trying to push my anger aside; it's not her I'm mad at, and she knows it.

Because of Draven and his chimera serum, we've lost at least three hundred citizens, and that was just those I had personally dealt with over the years.

Every single one of them has had to be killed if we encounter them.

My mother nods, folding her hands in her lap. The epitome of calm and collected.

"We have tried everything, everything in our power."

I open my mouth, ready to snap back about how impossible it all is, before I quickly snap it closed again.

She's right.

Our powers aren't the same as Serena's; there are very few people who have access to the magic she does...

I get it!

"You think Draven uses his darkness?" I'm on my feet again, but this time I need to move as energy courses through me. The very idea of us being able to best him lights a fire inside of me.

"I'm not sure. Nobody is, but I think it would be wise to consider it.

Nobody has been able to stop him or figure out how to stop him.

That's his one major difference, so it's well worth exploring.

Unfortunately, Serena is struggling with her powers, and I don't want to push her.

I don't want her to fold under the pressure, which is why I haven't said anything, and I won't."

Fuck.

I bury my face in my hands with a groan because I have an answer for that, but fuck, I don't want to.

"I know it's not what you wanted to hear. Please don't blame yourself for those we couldn't save," she tells me, mistaking my annoyance for anger.

I guess it's both, if I'm being honest.

Dropping my hands, I let my arms hang limp at my sides, looking up at the candles that burn in the chandelier above us.

Mother doesn't speak, giving me a chance to get my thoughts together. I appreciate it because right now it feels like my brain is in a blender.

"If Draven uses his dark magic, it would be safe to assume Ryker does as well, or at least knows how. Right?"

Pulling my gaze from the flickering flame, I turn back to my mother and find her deep in thought. I'm not sure if I want her to tell me I'm right or wrong.

I would love to find a way to stop losing people, to have a way to save them and cut Draven off from creating an army of monsters from innocent people.

But I also don't want Serena around Ryker; he's just as much of a monster as his father, no matter what Serena wants to believe.

"Yes, I would assume they use the same techniques." I can hear the hint of confusion in her voice, and I know she's going to ask even before she opens her mouth. Hell, it’s what I would ask if I were her.

"Why?"

I don't answer her right away, instead walking down the stairs that lead up to where the thrones are so that we might look out over top of everyone else. I've always hated sitting up here, feeling everyone's eyes on me, but even more so, I hated that Serena wasn't with me.

Some day she will be, though.

I sink down on the last step, dropping my elbows to my knees and digging my fingers into my hair with a soft tug.

"Serena has been going to him for training with her shadows." I don't elaborate. Honestly, I don't feel like it needs explaining.

Clearly, I'm mistaken, though, because instead of being met with understanding the way I'd expected, I'm instead met with a questioning gaze.

"He's dangerous, Mom," I hiss, annoyed that I have to explain this. She's not Serena, who hasn't witnessed what Ryker is and what he’s done. No, she's seen it with her own eyes just the same as me.

"Honey, do you know why your father sent Serena away that night?" Her question catches me off guard because it has nothing to do with any of this. Despite that, I take a breath and attempt to remain calm. There has to be a reason for her to bring this up, hopefully.

With a sigh, she pushes to stand, coming to sit on the step next to me, her eyes trained down on her lap, lips pulled down in a slight frown.

“We'd never seen anyone with powers like Serena’s.

I don't just mean her darkness, but her power, the raw ability she had.

Even those with darkness and light have to train, but she didn't. In the face of danger, her powers saved not only her but the whole kingdom, as if answering a call, an extension of herself.” Her brows pull together as if the very idea confuses her.

I guess she's right; I'd just never really thought of it like that.

"Serena wouldn't have hurt us, though. She used her powers to protect us."

Mother’s head snaps up, her eyes wide.