Page 22

I can feel him; now that I know that’s what I was feeling that night, it’s easy to pinpoint him.

The pain’s almost all-consuming, enough to steal the air from my lungs. Somehow, it’s connected to Lyle, and even if I don’t understand it, my shadows seem to, at least enough to bring me to him.

I’ve yet to actually show up on time, and Ryker refuses to bring me to Lyle until I’ve got a better grip on my shadows and my beast, which, according to Ryker, are pretty much the same thing… I don’t really understand it, but he promised to take me to him ‘when I’m ready.’

Whatever the hell that means.

As much as I hate to admit it, Lyle isn’t in control right now. If it weren’t for Ryker, he might have killed me the night Draven turned him.

For a while there, I’d been upset he didn’t.

I shiver at the memory as I creep through the castle.

Now I just want to see him; it's like I need the reminder that he's out there. Even if it hurts, it's better than the alternative, right?

At least I tell myself that's what I want. Can I actually handle seeing him like that?

Fuck, I don't know, but there's only one way to find out, and it's not as if I can stop now.

It's almost as if I'm being pulled to him.

Down in the garden, I let my shadows free, and they quickly move to form wings behind me.

I feel the weight of them on my back. I'm not sure if my shadows move on their own or if they move based on my thoughts and desires, but I don't really stop to think about it.

All that will do is give me a headache. There's so much about me I don't understand, but that doesn't matter right now; all that matters is fixing what I broke.

I refuse to let the people I love take the fall for me.

I will save Lyle, no matter what.

Bending low to the ground, I propel myself into the sky higher than should be possible, disappearing up into the clouds. It's not until I begin to fall that my wings catch me, and I can't stop the smile that tugs at my lips as my stomach drops like a rock.

Something about being up in the sky like this is terrifying, but also exhilarating in a way I've only ever experienced when flying.

The tug in my chest pulls me further from the castle, and I move without conscious thought.

The world below me is dark, even with my enhanced sight; the only real thing I can tell for sure is that there are trees everywhere.

From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of my shadow wings and stop dead, hovering in the middle of the night sky as I try to wrap my mind around what I'm seeing.

These aren't Garrett's wings.

Could I make wings that aren't his? Possibly, but I never have. My shadows are very good at providing what I need, from wings, to my rabbit when we were kids, to the defense I needed all those years ago against Draven.

So what the hell is this, and why change it up now?

The wings cut through the sky to keep me airborne, and I catch a glimpse of the night sky through them.

A hole?

My mind goes back to that night, the one that I try to keep buried, but this isn't about Sol or Lyle. No, I think back to Ryker.

I'd been flying around to meet him for a few days now. Had I been using his wings the whole time?

How?

Fuck, this is exactly what I mean when I say I don't know anything about myself. I have no idea how my shadows work. Can I take the form of anyone or anything? Is it even up to me?

Pain pulses in my chest, a low ache that's enough to remind me what the hell I'm doing out here. With a shake of my head, I force my mind off my shadows and Ryker and back to Lyle. The pull to him is still there, the pain like a thread that's been pulled too tight, lessening the closer I get.

Flying over the trees is so much faster than any other form of transportation available in the realm. One moment I'm at the castle; the next I'm at the edge of the kingdom, moving from lush green and blue-leafed trees to the dark, dead, terrifying ones that make up the Forgotten Forest.

I don't slow down; don't give myself a moment to pause and think about it. Until now, Lyle had been staying in the kingdom’s forest, so why change? What would make him leave to come here? Beast or not, this place is hellish. I can't imagine anyone would want to be here if they didn't have to be.

My mind jumps back to Ryker for what feels like the millionth time, to that little cabin I spent my first few nights in, to how beautiful and homey it was despite being smack in the middle of these very woods.

No. Get it together, Serena. Just because he made the best of a shit situation doesn't make these woods any less desirable.

Wind cuts through the sky like a whip, throwing me to the side even though I'm at least thirty feet above the tree line. Howls sound all around me, and I'm not sure if they’re from creatures below or simply more of the wind, but I don't really want to find out.

I've never really been afraid of the dark, instead finding a strange comfort in it. When I was younger, I wasn't afraid of anything until Harlow; then it was fire, but not anymore. Anyone could have hurt me with any elemental magic; the only reason it was fire is because that's what she had.

So why does the idea of dropping into those woods make my palms sweat and my heart race?

‘Who just wanders around in the woods in the middle of the night?’ Ryker’s question from all those months ago rings in my head, and I almost laugh. I hadn’t been wandering back then, but I sure as hell am now.

I can feel him, though I can't see him; all I need to do is drop down, and he'll be there. I know it the same way I know my own name, so why the hell am I still in the air?

Serena...

My breath catches, and I choke on it, unable to draw in oxygen as I plummet to the ground. Thankfully, shifters are more durable. Not to mention, I'd descended a bit while arguing with myself. I'd wanted to land, but not like this.

As if my lungs didn't already burn, I hit the ground hard enough to force any remaining air out of them.

Fuck, that still might leave a mark.

My vision fuzzes out like static on an old TV, and I blink hard a few times until it clears. Dead trees and darkness surround me as I push myself up on my elbows, heaving in deep breaths in an attempt to stop the burning in my lungs.

It's not until I'm sitting upright, my legs sprawled out in front of me from my super graceful landing, that I remember why I'm here.

I feel him behind me, his presence too much to ignore, almost as if he calls to me.

His low, rumbling growl vibrates through the air. It’s a warning, a threat. I've never been on the other side of this. As a part of his pack, it's never hit me the way it would have other shifters or animals we encountered. I always knew Lyle was formidable, but now I can feel it.

My chest is tight, breathing ragged as I shake, unable to help myself. Everything inside of me tells me I need to move, to run, or at the very least turn around. It's not smart to have my back to a predator like him, not right now at least, but I can't bring myself to turn and face him.

I close my eyes tight, fighting against the tears I can feel gathering and the memory of those cold white eyes.

Fuck, I shouldn't have come.

I can't...

Serena...

Before I can stop myself, I turn, scrambling on my hands and knees. The sound of his voice in my head rings like a bell, echoing around until I'm not sure if I imagined it or not.

I had to, right? Lyle is a monster right now, incapable of speech, and he's not my mate, which means there's no way for us to communicate through the bond...

Right?

With a gasp, I fall back on my ass and look up at him. He's not far, maybe ten feet from me, but he's so damn big. I force my gaze up, over his dark brown coat on his chest, past his muzzle and the sharp-ass teeth that are bared at me, and up to those dead white eyes that bore into me.

With a growl, he drops down onto all fours, and the ground shakes. I should move, fight back, something… anything.

Instead, I stay exactly where I am as he moves toward me. Unable to so much as look away until he's close enough that the drool from his bared teeth drips down onto my leg as he breathes in my scent.

He's in there; he has to be...

My eyes are fixed on his teeth as he opens his mouth and lets out a growl loud enough that my ears ring. For a moment, I can't hear anything at all. Spit hits my face, and I force my eyes closed as I flinch back from him and the sheer volume of his roar.

Fuck, that hurt. One of the few downsides to being a shifter.

Serena...

My eyes snap open as he begins to back up, thrashing his head from side to side as if trying to shake something off. He lets out a howl, the sound so full of pain that it cuts through me and pushes past my fear, letting me force myself up to my feet and to him.

"Lyle..." I reach for him but stop short of touching him as the memory of that night plays through my head.

There's no Ryker here to save me this time. I need to be careful.

Lyle stops thrashing. I press a hand to my mouth as a tear rolls down my face, a sob trapped in my throat. His eyes meet mine and instead of the white of the chimera, I’m met with the beautiful hazel eyes I miss so much.

"Oh, Lyle—" I move toward him, unable to stop myself, knowing he's right here. I need him to know he isn't alone, that he'll never be alone again.

Emotions swim in his eyes, so many I can't pin one down before the next is there, and then he's gone. He turns and runs into the forest without so much as looking back.

I move on instinct, unable to watch him leave again. Watching him walk away almost killed me last time. I don't care where we are or how dangerous it might be. I won't let him leave me behind if I can help it.

"Lyle, stop!" I sound hysterical even to my own ears, my voice echoing around the darkness until it distorts and sounds like the call of a monster.

Regardless of how quick I am, I still lose him in the darkness. He's bigger and faster, and I'm left standing, heaving and alone as I turn in a circle, hoping to see or feel something that might draw me back to him.

Go back to the others, Serena, you're not safe here... you're not safe with me.

Tears well in my eyes, blurring the world around me as I continue to search for him, but I swallow them down, unwilling to let them fall, to let him get away again.

"Lyle, please. Let me help you." My voice shakes, cracking on the last word, making me sound sad and pathetic, but I can't bring myself to care.

You can't help me, Serena; all you're doing is putting yourself in danger.

“I don’t care!” I'm shaking my head even before he's done talking… thinking? I don't know what it is, but I know he's wrong, and I tell him as much.

You need to leave, forget about me, and go be with the guys. Don't come back. I can't promise I'll be as aware next time, and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you...

It feels like he has more to say, but he remains silent, and after a second, I know I'm alone.

“I’ll never stop, Lyle. I won’t give up on you, just like you never gave up on me.”

He's gone, the pull to him disappearing, leaving me sad and confused.

Why bring me all the way out here just to break my heart all over again? There had to be a reason.

"Serena!"

I spin around, excitement filling me for a moment before I realize that it isn't Lyle calling me this time, and it's not in my head but from behind me.