Page 11

For a little while, it was nice, but now with Storm refusing to come within fifty feet of me and Lyle missing, it almost feels too big. A perfect representation of the hole I feel most nights.

Tonight, though, as I carefully untangle myself from Garrett and Sol, I’m momentarily caught off guard when I spot Storm in one of the armchairs near the bookshelf.

I’m torn between the feeling of excitement that bubbles up inside of me and the sting of disappointment that he’s still so far away.

Baby steps. At least he’s here.

Why is he here, though? Did one of the guys say something, or did he finally have enough of the separation?

Fuck, I really hope it’s the latter because I’ve missed him. Every glimpse of him around the castle leaves my heart pounding and my bond begging for me to go to him, just like it is now.

I don't, of course. The last thing I want to do is push him away again. Whatever it is he needs to do to come back to me, I’m here for it, even if it puts him just out of my reach for a little while.

I’m tempted to lie back down, feeling content for the first time in weeks. It’s not perfect, but this is as close to whole as I’ve felt in a while and as close as I can probably get given the circumstances.

The bed dips around me, and I say a silent thank you to the universe that Pike is in his human form and Blair is at the far side of the bed. I never would have made it further than sitting if that weren’t the case.

Standing at the end of the bed, I look around at each of them and let myself breathe for what might be the first time in… longer than I’d like to admit. Mated or not, I love these men, and nothing can change that.

Not Storm avoiding me, Garrett’s lack of faith, Blair’s overbearing need to watch out for me, Pike’s inability to handle real emotions without sprouting a tail, Sol’s insecurity, or the fact that Lyle has become a literal monster who wouldn’t hesitate to murder me…

My mind wanders, filled with memories of bright purple eyes and the way his arm felt wrapped around me, even if just for a moment.

Fuck, someone needs to stop me. At this point, I might as well steal the Pokémon motto. Don’t I have enough men to worry about already?

I want to say I do, but I can’t bring myself to.

The last book I’d been poring through sits on the table.

The moonlight pouring through the window is more than enough light to read by tonight.

I can’t stop myself from grabbing the book and heading to the window.

Garrett’s room is on the south side of the castle, which means this window overlooks the forest, and it’s fucking beautiful no matter the time of day.

I sit on the window ledge, pulling my knees up and hugging them tight to my chest. Just like that, my thoughts stray back to Ryker, remembering the view from the top of his house.

Garrett insists that he’s dangerous, and I know he’s right. I saw it; he admitted it.

But right now, he also might be my only hope to save Lyle, and there isn’t much I wouldn’t do to save him. Even if that means I’m in danger. The guys can be upset, but it’s better than the alternative, going after Lyle myself, which I still haven’t ruled out.

I’m not tired, but as my mind wanders, my eyes scan over the woods lazily, and I imagine seeing Lyle down there. It’s painful to picture him with those cold eyes that looked at me as if I were a stranger.

A sharp pain in my chest steals the air from my lungs, leaving me gasping as I grip my chest, unsure what the fuck that was.

It stops almost as quickly as it started, and for a moment, I worry I’d imagined it, but no sooner than I think that, it hits me again. This time, I can’t sit still. Pushing to my feet, I stumble back a step, looking around the room, checking on the guys.

Are they still sleeping? I feel like the thumping of my heart is enough to wake them, let alone my heavy feet as I move around, but from what I can see, none of them has moved.

This time, instead of ramping up and then disappearing, the pain moves from my chest to my head until it feels as though it’s going to split.

I’ve felt this before.

My magic.

Without stopping to think about it, I let my shadows free and they fill the room. Whatever it takes to make the pain stop, and it does almost instantly, though my shadows don’t simply flow through the air the way I’m used to.

No, right now it’s as if they have a mind of their own as they wrap around me, and I feel the weight of them on my back.

“What?” I ask aloud, to who, I don’t know, but I can’t help it. Nothing is making sense.

My shadows are stronger at night. It was something Blair and I discovered during one of our many nights' training, but this is more than just strength. It’s almost as if my shadows have a mind of their own, like they have a plan or something they need to do.

But that’s crazy…right?

Fuck, who am I kidding? My life’s been crazy for a while now.

As if to prove my point, my shadows wrap around me, pushing me back toward the window, but not into the light of the moon, but into the deep shadow opposite of it.

My feet move as if controlled by someone else, and I watch in horror as I move into the shadow, only for the floor and room to disappear, replaced by darkness as a scream rips from my throat and I plummet toward the ground.