Page 14

R yker thinks I can save Lyle. Something about the darkness being more powerful than the rest of the elements, even light.

Of course, that's what I need to save him. I can’t, like, sacrifice an animal or do physical training. No, I need to do something that's damn near impossible for me. Despite how often I’ve been working with my shadows, I still don’t have control.

But I can learn it.

Or so Ryker seems to think.

We parted ways with the agreement that we’ll meet in the same place tomorrow and start my training.

Which sounds easy enough—except, you know, the fact that there are at least four guys back at the castle that I’m shocked I made it here without this time…

I’ll figure it out, though. I have to.

I’m distracted all day thinking about how I’ll possibly get back there tonight.

Hell, getting back in was hard enough without my shadows jumping to help like they did when I left.

Thankfully, I’d only woken Sol up when I crawled back into bed, and he easily accepted my ‘I went to the bathroom’ excuse.

“You need to eat, Rena.” I blink and then blink again, trying to remember what the fuck I was doing.

Pike sits on my right with Blair across from me, while Sol and Garrett are on my other side. Storm sits at the same table as us today, but not with us. He still won’t look at me or Sol, but he isn’t running away when I look at him, so at least there’s that.

Honestly, I don’t remember what I did today or how I even got here, but I need them to remain blissfully unaware that anything is going on.

Blair and Sol might not be as upset if they found out, and I doubt Storm would even really notice, but Garrett…

Fuck, if he notices, I’m not sure what would happen, but I know it won’t be good.

“Sorry, I’m just tired,” I tell him, forcing a tight smile before I do, in fact, take a bite of my food. If I’m going to be working with my shadows and pushing myself, I’m probably going to need my strength.

The flavor explodes in my mouth—some kind of pasta with an orange sauce that has a hint of spice. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I’m almost positive this is the first bite I’ve taken and the first time something has genuinely tasted good to me in a while.

The last few weeks have been about survival, everything was done out of necessity, not for satisfaction. I ate and slept to stay alive, bathed because I needed to be clean, but I did so in a haze. It takes all of my self-control to stop myself from scarfing down every bite, like I’m starving.

Am I starving? When’s the last time I ate something?

Fuck, I don’t remember most of the last few weeks since we brought Sol back to be healed.

There are moments, like the time with Sol when our bond slipped into place, my fights with both Garrett and Storm, and cuddling with Pike in his wolf form during the last few weeks.

For a while, it was the only way I could get any sleep, but that didn’t last. Before I knew it, it didn't matter how tired I was or who I was with; thoughts of Lyle and memories of that night had me tossing and turning or waking up in a panic.

Despite not having a good grasp of time, I know the guys have been making me eat over the last few weeks. I can’t even imagine Blair letting me skip a meal, let alone days’ worth of them.

“Slow down, Little Rabbit,” Blair says with a chuckle, shaking his head. I look up and find his eyes on me with a sparkle I’ve come to realize is only for me, and it leaves my cheeks warm.

We finish eating, and for the first time since that night, things feel almost normal.

I eat and listen to their conversation, even occasionally participating in it, as I had not one but two helpings of tonight’s dinner.

After dinner, I head up to Garrett’s room to turn in for the night.

If I’m going out later, I need to get some sleep at some point, and who knows what time I’ll be coming back.

“It’s still light out,” Storm mumbles, but he’s not looking at me, and I get the feeling he isn’t really talking to me either.

Doesn’t stop me from answering, though.

“I haven’t been sleeping great, but I’m tired, so I figured now might be the best time to try.” I shrug as I move through the room to the dresser that holds the guys' shirts.

With so many of of us in the same room, there isn’t really a way to have a spot for everyone’s clothes. More than that, there isn’t much variety to begin with, so at this point, they just grab a shirt, and the maids fill them back up daily.

Which is perfect for me because that means there’s always a shirt for me to steal.

I don’t overthink it, pulling off my shirt and letting it drop to the ground before I grab one of theirs. The room goes dead quiet, and I turn to see what’s going on as I pull the shirt over my head. It’s not until I’m facing them again that I realize all eyes are on me and why.

My cheeks blaze as I quickly pull the shirt down, covering myself.

I hadn’t thought about it when I took my shirt off, but I’d taken my bra off earlier before dinner, something I don’t usually do.

I did today, though, and the heat in their eyes and the way they roam over me has me feeling like I might as well be butt-ass naked.

I look from one to the next and find that same heat in each of their eyes…

Fucking hell.

Biting my lip, I turn my gaze to the ground before taking a deep breath and heading toward the bed.

Way to make everything awkward, Serena. Let's flash all of them right before I have to get into the same bed with them…

I mean, not that I would be opposed to some group activities…

No! Stop! Bad Serena!

Garrett chuckles but tries to cover it with a cough. He does a shit job, though, and fuck if I don't want to crawl into a hole in the ground when I remember that not only him, but Blair, Storm, and Sol probably all just heard that.

I've been keeping most things to myself after Sol's injury.

I was projecting like crazy, sharing way too much and scaring the shit out of Blair.

I found that keeping my calm helps me to keep most things to myself, but sometimes, like now, I totally forget, and well, long story short, I need to find time to sit down with Rosalynn because at this rate, I'll never be able to look at them again.

I crawl into bed, feeling their eyes on me even after I burrow down under the covers, pulling them up over my head.

The bed dips, and I'm curious who it is, but I don't dare peek to see.

It's silly, really. Not only have I known these guys all my life, but four of the five here are my mates. I have zero reason to be embarrassed. Hell, I've slept with three of them, and it was just my boobs!

The covers move, and something brushes against my leg, pulling me from my spiral. It only takes me a moment to realize I'm looking at Pike as he crawls up under the blankets to me with a huge shit-eating grin on his face.

"You can't hide from me, Buns." He reaches out, his fingers easily finding the spot on the back of my thigh that leaves me crying, laughing, and gasping for air.

"Pike!" I attempt to sound serious, hoping to stop him, but it's no use. I'm a screaming, thrashing mess a moment later, with no choice but to throw off the blanket or risk suffocating.

"Pike, I'm serious, stop. I could hurt you!" I wheeze as I kick out, and my foot connects with his side. He gives a tiny grunt, but other than that, he doesn't seem to really notice, and his fingers don't so much as slow.

"I think she gets it, Pike," Sol says, and I can hear the laughter in his voice even if I can't peel my eyes open to see him.

Damn him and the rest of them. Allowing Pike to assault me like this, I should beat their asses. Or better yet, make them all sleep on the floor.

Yes, that's a great idea. For once, I'm pushing the idea out, trying to make it heard.

"She's going to make you sleep on the floor," Blair says, and Pike’s fingers freeze.

With a sigh of relief, I let my head fall back against the pillow, eyes closed. I suck in deep breaths of air as I try to get my breathing back under control.

"That's not funny," Pike pouts, flopping down on the bed beside me, and I shove him away. It only lasts a second, though. As soon as I open my eyes, I'm met with his pouting puppy dog stare, and I'm a goner...

"Cheater," I huff, rolling my eyes as he smiles, knowing he won.

"You know you love me," he says as he moves impossibly closer, nuzzling into my side and pushing me back against…Blair.

Somehow, I know it's him without turning to see, and I let myself relax into him. Well, for a moment I do, until Pike licks my cheek, making me tense up and once again reach out and smack him.

"Gross," I hiss, rubbing at my face as the guys laugh, and I swear Storm joins in.

Every day, things get better; one day at a time, we'll fix this.

I won't stop until we do, because that's what you do for the people you love.

You sacrifice.