Page 281 of Shadowman

I was still fizzling down from the heavens when Rook came—in Dash’s mouth. And I’m pretty sure Dash came in his pants, too. I don’t know why that’s so sexy… In theory, coming in your pants is supposed to be humiliating.

But there’s something to knowing that a person is so helplessly turned on, they can’t stop themselves from erupting inside their clothes. Head tipped back, eyes shut, lips parted and quivering…

It’s the ultimate unexpected loss of control.

The only one I’m not sure about is Velle. I couldn’t tell if he came or not. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if he made everyone in the general vicinity come except himself.

He seems like that type of dude.

So, there you have it. Concrete proof that storms are sexy, and secret kinks are much easier to accept in the dark. That would have been a perfectly tantalizing place for the night to end…

But we’re only just getting started.

Because in Alabaster Penitentiary, every moment of debauchery is a preface to something much more sinister.

Velle sent Dash to solitary for that little stunt. Arguably harsh, but the running joke is that Dashlikesbeing in solitary. He’s down there more than he’s up in Gen-pop, which is disturbing to any of us who have spent time in solitary.

They don’t call itThe Holefor nothing. It’s literally a hole where dreams go to die.

Wanna crush your spirit quick? Spend three days locked in a pitch-black, mold-ridden ten-by-ten tomb with no food or water and nothing but your every insecurity to keep you company.

I considered all of this while back in my cell, alone, lying in bed with the lights flickering in the row… Like living in a place where one minute, you’re slurping cum out of a relative stranger’s dick, and the next you’re isolated to a concrete box.

I couldn’t stop thinking about my friends and the forever-blurring lines of this prison. I thought about O’Malley, if he was okay in the East, and Ren, what he was doing and who he was doing it with. About Luthor—did he feel awkward after we came side-by-side? Has he ever had even a fleeting thought about fooling around with anyone other than Ren?

And then I thought about Dash. How effortlessly he’d slipped from angry and hostile to kneeling for a mouthful of cum.

There’s a lot I don’t understand about Dash. He’s an enigma, and I find him more interesting because of it. Because ofthem… His secrets.

Our secrets are the foundation of our true selves; the bedrock of what makes usus… Whether we choose to show it to the world or not.

Curiosity piqued in the darkness of my lonely cell. Pulling out this very journal, I read through some ofmysecrets and fell asleep reading one about me and O’Malley, and our shared bunk bed…

I awoke to fingers brushing through my hair.

On the edge of my consciousness, I could tell it wasn’t a dream. Naturally, my first instinct was to fight. Because someone had broken into my cell, and they weretouching me.

But as quickly as the reflex came on, my muscles relaxed, and I gave in…

Just like in the hallway earlier, I leaned into it instead.

I was so tired of fighting. I’d been fighting so many things for so long… Being here meant that I could finally stop. Being a prisoner is to relinquish control. There’s no need to fight.

What’s the point when my life isn’t mine anymore…?

This realization feltsogood; as comforting as the fingers stroking my hair, petting me like a precious kitten… It was all I really wanted, deep down, in the place where I house my secrets.

I want to be held down and fawned over. Fucked to the zenith of pleasureful pain and wanton humiliation, then cuddled and kissed and caressed like I’meverything.

The fingers felt vaguely familiar, unnerving, but somehow hypnotizing all the same. It continued to lull me into a trance… Until the rickety mattress dipped.

Someone was in my bed with me. Someone was… moving over me.

Forcing my eyelids open, I froze in fright at the pale skin and snow-white hair gleaming in the dark.

“What the f—”

My words were cut off by his lips on mine.