Page 248 of Shadowman

“Yea,” Velle croons knowingly.

“But it doesn’t fucking matter,” I argue on. “You and I both know it doesn’t matter what the fuck I say to him. He’s never going to stand down. But if I stay here, he’ll kill Trevel. That’s a fucking fact. He’s got these collar things—”

“So?” Velle squints. “I’d say we need you here more than we need that asshole alive…”

My eyes round, chest constricting. The thought of something happening to Trevel is painful, made even worse at knowing that these people—whose side I’m supposed to be on—don’t care whether he lives or dies.

Joy stomps back over. “He’s not one of us,jeonsa.Youare. We need you… He can handle himself.”

I’m splitting down the middle, and itkills. The despair in what they’re saying is climbing up my esophagus like bile. Swallowing it down, I cough up indignation in its place.

“I’m not going to let him die over this,” I seethe. “He doesn’t deserve that.”

Joy scoffs, and I bark, “He doesn’t! He doesn’t deserve to be on this island any more than the rest of us do! Whatever you think about him is irrelevant. None of us are here by choice, and we’re all just fighting to survive.”

“Because of him!” Joy roars. “The Ivory did this to all of us! Are you really gonna sit here and say you think we should surrender??”

I’m fucking shaking all over. The fury and the fear have woven together into something so crippling, I can’t barely keep myself standing anymore.

I just want to get back to him.

He’s the only one who’s truly on my side.

They don’t care about me or my feelings. They just want to win. They’re using me, just like The Ivory is.

Just like everyone does… It’s what I’m here for, apparently.

Glancing at Velle, I find him watching me closely, assessing me with an almost pitying glint in his eyes.

“We’ve been trapped in this hellhole for over ten years.” Joy gestures to Velle. “We’re prisoners too; I know you know that. Giving up is going back, and I won’t fucking do that. Not this time.”

“What do you expect me to do??” I scrub hands over my face. “I won’t leave Trevel behind. I can’t—”

“He’s holding the control room guys hostage,” Rook says. “Did you know that?”

My lashes flutter, and I look at Velle once more. He confirms this with the pursing of his lips.

“Carson, Denton, Mark…” Rook goes on. “They’re trapped in the control room, being held at gunpoint by his men.”

My teeth set. “I say again… what do you expectmeto do about that?”

“Get us into the mansion,” Velle hums a demand.

“I can’t do that. He’ll kill—”

“Then we have nothing more to talk about,” he cuts me off, turning and stalking over to the desk. Effectively ending the conversation.

I’m quaking in place, surrounded by people I’ve known for years, though I’ve never felt more alone.

They’re putting me in an impossible position. Asking me to choose between them and Trevel is fucked up, but they don’t care. They don’t care about whatIwant at all.

I’m just another body they need to win this fight. A weapon they want in their arsenal.

“Bring him down to the west exit and cut him loose,” Velle grunts robotically. Emotionless as he returns to loading rounds into magazines, not sparing me another glance.

Joy is visibly upset, but she’s obviously trying to disguise it as she stomps toward the door, nodding for me to follow her. I give Velle one last lingering look. But he’s shut down.

It’s over.