Page 252 of Shadowman

Proxy or not, he wound up deep within my chest… His flames encircled my heart as he scorched me alive.

“Fuck you…” I curl up in the sand. “Why’d you… have to…”

This ache is so very pungent, like smoke filling my lungs, suffocating me with every inhale. More than just grief, it’s guilt. For so many reasons; overso manyfucking things.

They’re gone, and I never got to apologize.

He’s dead… and I never got to tell him…

Something rustles between the trees.

“Felix?!” I gasp. “Just… kill me.Please…” Crying and wrenching in agony, I plead… “Just do it! Fuckingkill mealready, because I don’t deserve to be here! I don’t deserve to live and not them… I’m a terrible friend and anawfulfucking person…” I sputter for air. “I was supposed to be… pretending. But I don’t think I’ve ever known how…”

Lying on the shore, I’m just waiting for it. A bullet to hit me, or The Carver to pop out and slit my throat. I’mprayingfor an end to this torment.

But it doesn’t come. I’m forced to lie here and confront it all…

The knowledge that my friends are dead, and I never got to tell either of them the truth.

“Morning, beautiful…” I yawn, kissing a line across Byron’s shoulder.

I know he’s awake, what with his constant shuffling about. Byron doesn’t seem to sleep well as it is, but with everything going on, I’m lucky if I catch him passing out for an hour or two.

“Babe?” I rumble to him when he doesn’t answer me, grazing my fingers up and down his back.

He grunts by way of response. And now I’m on a mission.

Sitting up, I wince at the soreness in my back. This couch isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever slept on, that’s for certain. Still, it’s not exactly one of those incredibly luxurious beds up the hall.

It’s fine. I suppose I understand why Byron would rather sleep on the couch than in any of the beds…But that doesn’t mean my muscles have to like it.

“Come now, sweet fury.” I shake him, and he groans. “Rise and shine. Let’s go for a shower, yea?”

He continues to ignore me, and when I glance down at his face, I find him simply staring. It rolls melancholy in the pit of my stomach.

“It’ll feel good, love,” I croon, playing with his hair, hoping for a miracle. “Nice warm shower… maybe an orgasm or two.”

But he still won’t respond, and it’s beginning to drive me mad.

“Byron, I know you’re upset,” I murmur, a bit out of my league in attempting to talk about what’s going on with him.

“I’ll say…”Leo smirks, sitting casually by Byron’s feet.

He reaches out and touches Byron’s toe. Byron flinches, kicking.

My face pulls into a disturbed expression.

I’m losing it…

Shaking my head, I go on, “None of this has been easy on you, and I understand that. But you need to at least get up, baby.”

“I’m good…” He rolls over, stuffing his face into the pillow.

“Bit of a Gloomy Gus, isn’t he?”Leo comments. I shoot him an irritated glare.“You positive this emo boy is the one for you?”He arches a brow above his mangled teddy bear eyeball.

“Have we met?” I scoff, and he fakes a laugh.

“Huh?” Byron grunts.