Page 7 of Scrap Metal & Love Reforged

But maybe this was for the best. After all, what if I’d had drinks with Seth and, opening up to him, learned he was homophobic? Or what if I hadn’t told him anything, and he just turned out to be an asshole? Seth did seem like he could be a jerk.

Or maybe that wasn’t quite fair. He seemed…something. Confident or haughty. It wasn’t clear which. Money helps in that department. But there was something about him, an admirable enthusiasm. A sort of energy that stirred up some degree of confusion inside me.

I rubbed a hand across my forehead. “I’m going to work on Seth’s bike,” I said, glancing again at Arthur.

Arthur had already returned to his phone, but he looked up. His blue eyes darted to the front of the store and back to me. “Sure,” he said. “I think I can handle it.”

And back to the phone, he went.

Chapter Three

Troy

“But here’s the thing: I think she’s actually right,”I typed into the phone. “I probably do need to be more social, but that seems like a ridiculous thing to worry about. I’m a grown-ass man, you know? This is stuff that twelve-year-olds worry about, and I’m twenty-freaking-three.”

I set my war-torn phone aside and considered the creation before me. At the moment, it wasn’t much. In the spirit of the holidays, I’d decided to go with a Christmas tree, but not the usual Christmas trees with full, lush branches filled with pine needles. Instead, mine would be twisted metal—copper, stainless steel—junk, basically. I had a vague idea of where I was going, but most of this project would be something I figured out as I went along. That was part of the joy of junk assemblage, working with the unpredictability of the pieces.

My phone beeped. I swiped a finger over the broken glass to read the message.

“I think even grown-ass men need to socialize. It’s not stupid to want friends. Humans are social creatures, or something like that. I think I read that at some point.”

I grimaced. Somehow, I’d known that Godofdiscordwould agree with my sister but having that confirmed didn’t make me feel any better.

‘Okay,”I said, “But risk and reward, right? How do you know if the emotional labor that goes into having relationships is worth it? You’ve worked retail, right? Emotional labor sucks.”

I set the phone aside and took my wire pliers. I worked on straightening out a length of wire I’d recovered from the scrapyard up the road. They were always happy to unload the stuff other people didn’t want. For a reasonable price, of course. Nothing in the world was free, even if I knew most of this junk would’ve just sat around and rusted in the rain.

My phone beeped again. I finished straightening the wire and set it aside.

“No, I’ve never worked retail. Thank God. But I get what you mean. Isn’t being alone just as exhausting, though? I mean, if we’re talking emotional labor, I think being alone is even worse. Then, you have the labor of having to deal with absolutely everything yourself. You don’t have anyone to share your problems with. That’s why we’re friends, right? Because sometimes, you just really need to talk to someone.”

That was probably true. Godofdiscord and I had met because we’d both been in the same buying and selling group. I’d been looking for junk, and he’d been trying to sell a bunch of his friend’s old sewing supplies or something. It was a decent group, but prone to a lot of spam. And Godofdiscord always had something witty to say. I’d liked his comments quite a bit, and after about four months of that, Godofdiscord sent me a private message. We’ve been friends for nearly a year.

Well, online friends. I’d never met him in person.

“I guess that’s fair,”I replied, “But if I have online friends, why do I need real ones, too? They’re more effort anyway. If you wear me out, I can ignore you. It’s harder to ignore real people.”

And boy, did I knowthat. I grimaced at the icon announcing I’d received a new text. It was Skye, reminding me that I’d promised to call our mom. The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous. I’d moved to Bluehaven to getawayfrom my family, and now, Skye had decided that it was her duty to come down here and hound me into going back home.

If I ever had to go back and face my parents again, it would all be too soon. No, it was best for me to stay away and survive on my own. I couldn’t even face my parents after what I’d done.

“Sometimes, you need those people in real life to check on you, though,”Godofdiscord replied. “I really think—okay, I know your sister is overbearing. You’ve said that before. But maybe she has a point. I don’t know that it’s really healthy to have ALL your friends online, especially with how easy it is to lie on the internet.”

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, I couldn’t help but crack a smile. “So have YOU been lying to me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m the exception, though. Not the rule. I wouldn’t have any reason to lie because I’m perfect.”

I sighed and set the phone aside. For a few seconds, I worked in silence, but my thoughts wouldn’t quiet. Godofdiscord and Skye had a valid point. I wasn’t going to deny that. But didn’t I already have enough to do?

I looked at my dismal apartment. It was a cramped space, the kitchen and bedroom crammed into one room with a bathroom the size of a closet. The carpet was brown and badly stained, so badly in fact, that I wasn’t entirely sure if brown was the carpet’s original color. There was a single window, cracked and taped back together. The walls were horrific, solid white but scrapedand roughly patched over. Shockingly, the place had been in even worse shape when I’d arrived. The rent was cheap, and I’d spent small portions of my meager salary to clean the place up.

It still wasn’t enough. I had more debt than I cared to admit. I’d looked at bankruptcy at least a million times, but all the laws and paperwork made my head spin. And attorneys cost money. Besides, I was determined to dig my way out of this. That's your twenties, right? Just trying to survive.

My phone beeped.

“Okay, look. Devil’s advocate. What’s the absolute worst thing that will happen if you do go out and meet someone? You know you don’t have to swear loyalty just for grabbing a beer or watching a game, right? Small steps!”

That was easier said than done, though, and I’d always suspected that Godofdiscord was probably a social butterfly, anyway. He was one of those horrible monsters who actually seemed to like being with and around other people. In my weaker moments, I’d admit that Ididkind of admire that about him. I knew I had some serious issues with opening up to people but being closed off was a much safer option.