Page 18 of Scrap Metal & Love Reforged

I nodded, too anxious to appreciate his sarcasm. “It’s just—look. We shouldn’t—we shouldn’t have had sex last night.”

Seth tilted his head a little and sipped his coffee. His face wasn’t judgmental. No, he seemed to take my comment surprisingly well, since I doubted Seth faced rejection all that often. I bit the inside of my cheek, but Seth seemed to be waiting for something. And maybe I owed him that.

“It was nice. Enjoyable. But I feel like we shouldn’t have…I haven’t done that in a long time. Okay?”

“Can’t relate.” Seth grinned and winked.

He was probably trying to lighten the mood, but I felt a jolt of irritation toward him. Maybe that wasn’t entirely fair. Seth couldn’t know what I was thinking because I hadn’t said. I couldn’t expect him to read my mind.

“You didn’t enjoy yourself? Or you’re having remorse now?” Seth asked.

“No, I did enjoy myself.”

Quite a bit, actually. And Seth was probablywayout of my league, that he’d even agreed was something of a miracle. I glanced around his apartment. It was eerily clean, like an apartment fromSouthern Home and Gardensor something. Like no oneactuallylived there. He probably had someone clean the apartment for him. Duh, he’s rich. They don’t clean anything.

“It’s just that I’m not…” I trailed off.

How could I possibly tell Seth, who was so confident and out about his sexuality, that I was still in the closet? It sounded pathetic, even in my own head.

“I’d rather you not tell anyone we had sex.”

“Why?”

I dug my nails into the palms of my hands and tried to steady myself. “I’m not exactly out to most people yet, Seth. And I’d like to remain in the closet until I’m comfortable with being out. So, if we could keep this between us, that would be great.”

“Sure, no prob.”

I waited for him to turn angry, or maybe act like a spoiled brat. I didn’t expect someone loaded like him to take this sort of thing well.

“Sure?” I echoed.

Seth sighed. “Look. I’ve had a ton of sex, and I don’t make that a secret. But if you don’t want me to tell, fine. I get it. I mean, I wasn’t always out myself. So why would I make your life unnecessarily difficult? I’m not going to tell anyone something like that. That’s your story to tell, not mine.”

I watched him for a long moment. His face softened, his hazel eyes bright with sympathy and understanding. Seth wasn’t a badguy, or a spoiled brat like I’d anticipated. No, he was a decent man who understood. I’d been absurdly wrong about him.

“Thank you, Seth,” I said, forcing down the lump in my throat. “That’s very…very nice of you.”

“Not really. It’s more common courtesy. We’ve all been there; you know. And if you ever want any—well, I won’t sayguidanceor something, but—someone to talk to, don’t hesitate.”

I doubted I’d ever ask him for anything, but the offer seemed genuine.

“Thanks,” I said.

Seth nodded and climbed to his feet. “Shall I show you out, then?”

“I can show myself out.”

He sat again and smiled. “I’ll see you again soon.”

I nodded. As I left, I couldn’t decide how I felt about Seth’s promise tosee me around. The thought of seeing him again after this filled my belly with a sudden, fierce fluttering. And maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

“Life kind of sucks, sometimes. You know?”I typed into my phone, hitting “Send” before stowing my phone once more in my pocket.

It was difficult not to think about Seth. Not only did he show up at my work, but we’d also gone shopping for junk. So now, when I looked at the scattered bits of metal that I’d bought while out with him, I thought of him. And Seth was nice, too; understanding. And all this made it much harder not to think about him.

It was stupid. Like being an awkward teenager again. Worse, Seth seemed the sort of guy I could really like. But I couldn’t.Committing to a relationship with Seth would mean coming out, and I wasn’t ready for that.

I sighed, and stared at the window in my apartment as if I could force thoughts of Seth away through willpower alone. Outside, rain lashed against the window, obscuring the streets of Bluehaven. The water seeped around the window frame, seeping into the apartment walls. I grimaced at the black mold growing there. All that silicone and caulk had done nothing for the leak.