Page 47 of Scrap Metal & Love Reforged

“Really?” Brandon asked. “Out of all the relationships you’ve been in? You’ve never hadanybad break-ups?”

“Yeah. I mean, not really.”

Or maybe I was just remembering wrong because those were so long ago, and Troy was so recent. Maybe it was because I wasso goodat winning people over that I’d never really had to worry about things like people not forgiving me.

“And it’s even worse,” I said. “Troy had trust issues, and Iknewthat. He told me personal things, things I don’t think he told anyone. I just made everything so much worse, and I didn’t want that. I just…I don’t know. I don’t have anything else to add, and I can’t even justify it. That’s the worst part.”

“Maybe he just needs time,” Alex said softly. “That's what I'd need. I would just want some time to myself.”

“Well, yeah,” Brandon said, “If Troy already had trust issues, you really wrecked this one.”

I winced. “No,” I replied, rubbing my foot against the leg of the sofa. “No. I really screwed up. So, so badly.”

“And saying that over and over isn’t going to help,” Alex said. “Look; you shouldn’t have done it.”

“I told you it was a bad idea,” Brandon offered.

“Someone tell me something useful!”

“But,” Alex continued, “What’s done is done. There’s no point in beating yourself up over something that’s over and done with. All you can do is move forward.”

Brandon nodded. “But still, Ididtell you something like this would happen,” he pointed out.

“And that’s enough,” Alex said, nudging Brandon with his elbow. “Seth didn't ask us here to beat him up.”

Brandon grinned. “I’m just giving him a hard time for all the hard times he gave me. This is fun.”

Even after spending the day moping over the break-up—if it even counted as one—I couldn’t help butsmile at how good they were together. Brandon and Alex had their relationship worked out. They were a real power couple.

I might’ve had that with Troy if I hadn’t screwed everything up.

I slumped in my seat. “I suppose I deserve that, Brandon,” I said, forcing a smile, “But I really don’t think I can feel much worse.”

Brandon’s blue eyes softened. “I don’t know what else to add, though. Look, I knew this would happen, but I’m still sorry it blew up in your face. One of those things I would be happy to be wrong about. It’s just this doesn’t seem like a problem with an easy solution.”

I nodded. Maybe none of us knew what to add, and maybe it didn’t have an easy solution. There had to be something. Problems always had solutions; they just weren't always easy.

“But if I don’t want to just sit back and wait and do nothing, there must be something I can do,” I insisted.

Brandon shrugged, and Alex smiled. It was clear that neither of them had a clue. This was something that I had to figure out myself.

“I suppose since you both came all the way over here, you want a beer or something, eh?”

Discordstayed mostly quiet. I saw Troy’s posts now and then, but he never spoke tome. And I mostly lingered at odd hours, so I knew we wouldn’t be on at the same time. Despite my resolvenotto sit back and do nothing, I really was going out of my way to avoid all contact with him. And I wasn’t sure if that was out of respect or cowardice.

But it was sort of funny. If I’d screwed up a relationship before this, I would’ve gone to Brandon first. My second choice probably would’ve been Alex. He seldom offered advice on things like relationships—or hehadn’t—but he would’ve been good for letting me vent, at least.

My phone buzzed, and I wanted—no,needed—it to be Troy. Even if he was just messaging me to tell me off or something.

“Are you okay?”

Alex.

I sighed and typed the answer one-handed. With my other hand, I drummed my fingers on the countertop. I ought to go to bed. It was two in the morning, but I couldn’t get Troy out of my head. I’d never been all that good at moving past screwups, even the small ones, and this one washuge.

“Yeah. You? It’s awfully late to still be awake.”

I rifled through the cabinets, torn between something salty and carb-heavy or something sweet and teeth-rotting for my morning slouch on the sofa with reruns ofGilligan’s Island.