Page 29 of Saving Tracey (Finding Hope #1)

Chapter Fifteen

I jumped awake, my eyes flashing open. I sucked in a large breath of air, my heart pounding hard in my chest. My hands fluttered up to my throat as I sat up.

Fuck, it had felt so real . I had thought for sure that I was being strangled.

It had been an entire week, and I had finally stopped having nightmares, but then as soon as Trevor went back home, and I began sleeping by myself again, the nightmares came back in full force.

Someone knocked on my bedroom door, and I cringed, realizing I wasn't wearing long sleeves and sweatpants. I was wearing shorts and a tank top, making the scars on my skin extremely visible to whoever was on the other side of that door.

I was still so ashamed of them .

"Hold on!" I called out. I jumped out of bed, yanking on a hoodie and sweatpants to cover my damaged skin.

I swung open my bedroom door, my tired eyes meeting Kaleb's.

I had been avoiding him ever since Trevor had gone back home.

I didn't want him lashing out at me again, and I knew he was upset at me for being with Trevor.

I didn't completely understand why he wanted me.

Hell, I didn't even understand why Trevor wanted me.

"Can we talk?" He stuffed his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet.

I nodded mutely, opening my door wider for him to enter. He stepped inside as I walked back over to my bed, leaving my door open. He took a seat in my bean bag chair. "I'm sorry for what I said to you,” Kaleb finally muttered after we sat in awkward silence for a moment.

I shrugged. It was whatever, I guessed. I was so used to being treated like shit when people were angry with me that this wasn’t that unfamiliar to me.

"It's okay.” I looked down at my hands, twisting my fingers together in my lap.

I just felt like shit and wanted to be alone. I had been trying to sleep all night, yet every time I had managed to fall asleep, I was haunted by him torturing me. I wasn’t too keen on having this talk.

"It's not okay." Kaleb sighed. "I've liked you since I laid eyes on you.” I cringed internally at his words.

“I liked your evasive answers when I first spoke to you. You were different . I wanted nothing more than to bring you out of your shell and have you fall in love with me.” He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips.

“Though the second Trevor walked through the door and laid eyes on you, I knew I couldn't have you.

When Trevor sets his eyes on something, he has to have it, and he wanted you. "

I bit my lip, not really wanting to hear this. It was making me highly uncomfortable. I just wanted him to stop talking and leave me alone, leave this situation alone, and just move on from it all. I would never change my mind about Trevor, and he just needed to come to terms with that.

I looked up at Kaleb. "I really don't want to hear this right now,” I snapped, my exhaustion and aggravation filtering into my voice.

He shook his head, getting angry. "I just wanted to apologize to you. Can't we just be friends at least? Why do you keep avoiding me?"

My phone went off on my nightstand, and I glanced over at it, Trevor's name flashing across my screen.

Kaleb jumped up from the bean bag, walking out of my room, slamming my bedroom door shut loudly behind him.

I flinched and let my phone go to voicemail.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone—not even Trevor.

I was causing issues between Trevor and Kaleb, and I wanted it to stop.

I refused to be the reason that two guys who had been friends for years fought all of the time and lost their friendship.

My phone rang again, and I swiped across the screen to decline the call, turning my phone off afterward.

Miss Brinson came into my bedroom after knocking lightly and gave me a small, sad smile. "Hey, sweetie, how are you holding up?”

Everything I had gone through in the past week just fell out of me, and I began crying.

Kaleb and I had been good friends—he had been my first real friend—and all of a sudden, he hated me because I was with Trevor.

Now, my dad was out of prison, and we still didn't know why, and we didn’t know if he would be going back.

I was terrified of him getting his hands on me again.

And to top it all off, I was ripping Trevor away from his best friend.

She quickly rushed over to my bed when I began crying, and I did something that probably shocked her because I definitely shocked myself when I did it. But all I wanted was a mother's comforting touch. I just wanted someone that was like a mother to comfort me when I needed it.

I curled into her, my tears pouring down my cheeks. She sighed softly, wrapping her arms around me and rocking me gently. She whispered comforting words in my ears until we both jumped in alarm and shock at the sound of yelling downstairs.

"What the fuck did you do to her?!" I heard Trevor roar.

"Get the fuck out of my house,” I heard Kaleb snap back at him.

"Oh, God,” Miss Brinson whispered as she stood up. "Those two still haven't worked things out, have they?"

I shook my head at her. "I don't want to see Trevor,” I informed her, “not until he fixes his problems with Kaleb. I won't rip them apart when they've been friends for years."

She shook her head at me, reaching out to gently run her hand over my hair.

"Don't do that, honey. Kaleb and Trevor have always had issues, especially when it comes to girls. Trevor has always given Kaleb what he wanted.” She sighed.

“Kaleb is just angry because Trevor won't give you to him.

I hate to say it, but my son likes to play a game where he dates every girl before Trevor can.

It's a competition to him." She gave me a small smile.

"Trevor has found someone to help him—to heal him.

You make him happy, sweetheart. Don't hurt him over this, and don’t hurt yourself over this either.

Kaleb and Trevor will work out their own differences. "

"But he's your son," I murmured, shocked that she was saying this.

She nodded. "I know that he is, but I also know how he is, and I won’t make excuses for his behavior.

And I also know what kind of person Trevor is.

I saw him when he got out of the situation with his parents, and I've watched him experience extreme highs and extreme lows over the years.

This is the happiest I've ever seen him. Trevor is like a son to me, and I want him to be happy,” she told me. “Boys are boys. Kaleb will be alright."

I nodded, standing up. I followed her downstairs where the guys were still arguing. Kaleb had locked Trevor out of the house, and Trevor was yelling through the door angrily.

"Boys, stop it this instant!" Miss Brinson yelled as we came down the stairs. "Kaleb, open that door!"

He turned around to face his mom, anger written all over his features. "No, Mom! I'm tired of him always coming around and messing things up! That's all he ever does!"

"Boy, if you don't open that door this instant—" she snapped.

"Fine,” he spat, unlocking the door and swinging it open.

Trevor stormed inside, his fists clenched at his sides, his eyes murderous.

I hadn't even known it was raining, but apparently, it was because Trevor was drenched from head to toe, and it was pouring outside.

His eyes landed on me almost instantly, and he sighed softly, relaxing a bit when he realized I was okay.

I walked over to him, leaning up on my tiptoes to kiss him softly.

"Are you okay?" He reached up with cold fingertips to run his fingers over my cheek.

I nodded. "I'm fine," I told him quietly. "You need a shower, or you're going to get sick."

He grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. I led him upstairs to my room wordlessly. He had clothes here from when he would stay over so often, so I wasn’t too worried about what he would wear when he got done showering since his clothes were drenched.

When we reached my bathroom, he pulled me against him and kissed me deeply. I could feel his desperation through his kiss. "Fuck, I was so worried about you,” he finally uttered when he pulled back from me. He gripped my face in his hands. “Why in the hell did you ignore my calls?”

I sighed. "I was tired of coming between you and Kaleb," I admitted quietly.

He shook his head, looking as if he didn’t know whether to shake me or hold me. "You are more important to me than Kaleb ever could be,” he reminded me. “Please, don't make me feel like that again. You terrified the fuck out of me."

I nodded. He kissed me again and stepped back, now smiling. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of his beautiful smile. It was damn breathtaking.

"Now, I'm going to get a shower. Want to join?" he asked, flashing that devilish smirk of his.

I laughed a little, shaking my head. I wasn't ready for anything like that again yet. I was still recovering from everything that had happened a week ago.

The nightmares from the night before flashed through my mind, and my hand immediately fluttered to my neck. Trevor stepped toward me, concern flashing through his eyes, his smirk dropping from his face instantly. "Baby, what's going on in that pretty head of yours?”

I shook my head at him, shooting him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. I didn't want to tell him I was having nightmares without him. I didn't want to seem like I was relying on him too much.

Fuck, all I wanted to do was just to heal on my own. I wanted to be strong enough to do that. I wanted to be able to face my father again and stand strong.

"Talk to me," Trevor demanded softly.

I looked away from him, shaking my head. "I don't want to talk about it," I whispered, hating that he could see right through the front I tried to put up against him.