Page 19 of Saving Tracey (Finding Hope #1)

Chapter Ten

TREVOR

I placed my hands against the shower wall, leaning forward, letting the hot, scalding water run down my back.

My head was running rampant with thoughts of Tracey.

I wanted to break through to her—show her that not everyone wanted to hurt her.

I knew what it was like to not want anyone to touch you, to not want to let anyone near you, to not let anyone close in fear that you would drag them down with you.

Tracey was broken. More broken than I had realized.

She was more broken than I had ever been.

But fucking hell, I just wanted to pick up all of her pieces and put her back together.

She was my personal puzzle.

Dammit though, it was just hard finding all of the pieces.

I sighed and stood up to my full height, running my hands through my soaked hair. I thought about her luscious, full lips and felt myself get hard. I groaned, running my hands down my face. Tracey was fucking gorgeous. It would take a blind man to not notice how fucking beautiful she was.

I so badly wanted to see what she always hid under that baggy hoodie she always wore. Her curves were always shown off in the skinny jeans she always wore, and the image in my head made me curse.

I didn't think I could possibly get any harder.

I quickly turned my water to cold.

I'd been taking way too many cold showers lately, and thoughts of Tracey didn't help me at all.

I wanted her so badly, but I knew she wasn't ready for anything yet.

Hell, I hadn't even kissed her yet. I didn't know how she would react, and I had just gotten her. I didn’t want to scare her away. I mean, fuck, she could barely stand it when I touched her unexpectedly, even if she tolerated my touch a hell of a lot better than she tolerated anyone else’s.

I sighed. I hated taking things so slow with her, but she was everything I ever wanted.

I wanted her in every way possible, and if I had to wait years upon years, I would.

She was just so damn broken.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. Paul’s parents were out of town for the weekend to spend some time together, so we were here at Kaleb’s.

Honestly, I was happy that they had taken the weekend away.

I could spend more time with Tracey and hang out with Kaleb.

Besides, if Tracey had any more panic attacks, I would be there to help her through them.

Fuck, she terrified me when she had anxiety attacks.

I slipped on jeans and towel-dried my hair, not caring to do anything with it. I would just let it air dry. It wasn't like any of us planned to do anything today except laze around.

I walked out of my room and instantly collided with Krista. She stepped back from me almost immediately, blushing. I had that effect on girls. I had always known Krista had a huge crush on me, but I didn't act on it. She was Kaleb's twin. She was off-limits.

Besides, my heart was settled on another girl.

"Could you put on a shirt?" I almost couldn’t hear her.

I smirked down at her. "Why would I do that? Don't you just love this delectable body?" Her cheeks reddened.

"Trevor, stop hitting on my sister."

I looked over at Kaleb as Krista ran off toward Tracey's room. "I'm not hitting on your sister, man.” I really wasn’t. I didn’t look at Krista like that—especially not after meeting Tracey. I ruffled my hair and turned to face him completely. "Tracey up yet?"

He shrugged. "Krista is going to get her for breakfast. We'll find out in a minute."

A blood-curdling scream chilled my bones right after he spoke.

I spun around and dashed down the hall toward Tracey's room.

Tracey had shoved herself into the corner of her bed, panting as she struggled to catch her breath.

"What the fuck did you do now?" I snarled at Krista as I climbed onto the bed and pulled Tracey into my arms.

She wrapped her arms around me tightly, plastering herself against me. My heart raced at her close proximity, and I tightened my hold on her. "I think she was having a nightmare. When I said her name, she screamed and tried to get away from me."

"Out." Kaleb sent me a hard look, but Krista scampered out of the room.

"You don't get her all to yourself." I arched an eyebrow at his sudden hostility. “I'd like to make sure she's okay, too."

Suddenly realizing Tracey’s arms were bare when she tightened her hold on me, I grabbed the blanket and pulled it up around her shoulders so that her arms were hidden from Kaleb’s view.

She buried her face into my chest. I sent my best friend a harsh glare.

"You know she's not going to let you near her.

" He scowled at me. "You know damn good and well that I'm the only person she trusts enough to let near her. "

Kaleb pointed at me, glaring harshly. "This," he pointed between me and him, "is not over."

He stormed out of the room, slamming Tracey’s bedroom door closed behind him, making her jump in my arms. I sighed. I didn't understand what Kaleb’s problem was, but lately, he seemed to be a little pissed every time I got close to Tracey, but he was going to have to get over himself.

Tracey was mine, and I was the only person she trusted.

I grabbed her arm lightly in my hand and pulled her scarred wrist up to my lips, placing a gentle kiss over each line. She shivered under my touch. "I'm surprised you left your arms exposed.”

She moved away from me, crossing her arms over her stomach. I let my eyes trail over her. She was wearing a black spaghetti-strapped tank top. I could see the fullness of her breasts and the dip in her waist. Fuck, she was gorgeous.

My cold shower just went to complete fucking waste. My imagination hadn’t done her body any justice.

She jumped out of bed and snatched her hoodie off the floor.

I scrambled from the bed, gripping her wrists before she could yank the hoodie over her head.

"Don't," I said softly, swallowing hard as I ran my eyes over her curvy figure.

"You know you don't have to hide from me.

I've told you over and over again that you're perfect. "

She bit her lip, and I sighed, releasing one of her wrists to tug her bottom lip from between her teeth. She wasn't going to do much for the hard-on I was currently sporting if she continued to do that.

"But I can't let anyone else see this."

I wasn’t just anyone.

I pulled her into my arms and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

I could feel her heated face against my chest as she blushed at my affection.

"You need to get comfortable with yourself.

Your scars are a part of who you are. You need to embrace it, instead of being ashamed of it. They will understand."

"I don't want them to have to understand. They shouldn't have to. It's part of the darkness, and I won’t drag them into that."

"I know about them, and you haven't dragged me into your darkness."

"But you know what it's like." She finally wrapped her arms around me.

My body relaxed instantly as her slender frame pressed against mine.

"You know what it feels like to be consumed by it.

Just because what you did to escape it and deal with it is more beautiful than my ugliness, doesn't mean I can let them see. "

"Your scars are not ugly. You are not ugly." I meant every fucking word from the bottom of my heart—the bottom of my soul. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that they are a part of who you are. Think of them as your battle scars."

She sighed, pulling away from me. She slipped the hoodie over her head, much to my displeasure, tugging the sleeves down to make sure they covered her wrists. "You'll never understand."

I threw my hands up into the air, shoving my fingers through my hair roughly afterward.

This girl exasperated me sometimes. "How can you even possibly begin to think for even one fucking second that I don't understand?” I slapped my hands back down against my sides.

“I understand better than anyone. No one will think differently of you.

We all fucking care about you, Tracey. Why can't you get that through your goddamn head? "

I noticed with every curse word I threw at her, she took a step back from me. I sighed, turning my back to her, running my fingers roughly through my hair again. My muscles were pulled taught with frustration. I hated that she could still be afraid of me.

She had to know I would never lay a hand on her—ever.

I turned back to her, letting my eyes meet hers. "Tracey, don't cower away from me. I’ll never hurt you, you know that, right?"

She looked away from me. My heart ripped inside my chest. I hated feeling this way. I didn't want her to pull away from me. We had made so much progress.

I couldn’t take it if she pulled away from me again.

I stepped toward her and grabbed her face in my hands. Her green eyes snapped up to mine, her face paling slightly. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. It's okay.”

She drew in a sharp, shaky breath. I glanced down at her lips, so badly wanting to kiss her. She bit her lip, and I groaned. I couldn't take it anymore.

My head rushed down, and my lips claimed hers.

TRACEY

I froze under his lips. My heart started beating erratically.

He was kissing me.

Trevor Varner—the sexy, badass, football player—was kissing me .

I let my eyes fall shut, and I kissed him back with everything in me.

His lips were rough against mine, slightly chapped. His left arm slid down to wrap around my waist tightly and molded me against him. His right hand slipped into my hair, forcing my lips against his more aggressively.

I moaned into his mouth.

He felt so good against me. He was all hard, sinewy muscle against my softer body, and it felt like Heaven.