Page 47 of Samuel

“You are. We talked about this.”

Maisie swiped at her tears and looked at me, devastation written all over her face.

“I know what you told me, but you could be lying.”

“I wouldn’t lie about something this important. You prick, how dare you?”

“I dare because you’re a fucking woman and women lie and cheat about things like this.”

“What’s going on in here?” The curtain was pulled back and a nurse popped her head in. “There are new born babies and exhausted new mums on this ward and you are disturbing them.”

She looked at Maisie who was obviously distressed.

“Do you want me to get him thrown out?” the nurse asked her.

Maisie shook her head. “No,” she said defiantly. “He’s going anyway.”

“Well do it quietly, or I will call security.”

“You’re a bastard,” Maisie said when the curtain fell back into place.

“Yeah, just like that.”

I pointed at the baby and Maisie gasped.

“Get out,” she hissed. “I never want to see or hear from you again.”

“Get a DNA test, Maisie,” I snarled. “And if its mine I’ll pay what’s due, but I don’t want anything to do with him. I never want him looking for me, or turning up on my doorstep in eighteen years’ time, you hear me?”

“I don’t want your bloody money and don’t worry, I’ll never tell him about the twat he has for a father.”

“You’ll have the money if he’s mine. I don’t want to be taken to court or have some bloody government department on my back for years of back pay if I don’t provide for him.”

Maisie shook her head and heaved in a ragged breath. “What the hell has got into you? I can’t believe you’re being like this. I didn’t ask you to come here, I didn’t ask you for anything.”

“Like I said, I wanted to be sure and seeing as I’m not, get the fucking DNA done. In fact, I’ll sort it.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head and looking at me with narrowed eyes. “I don’t want anything from you. I’ll speak to a solicitor and get him to deal with it, now go and don’t bother ever coming back.”

“I won’t,” I replied, grabbing the curtain ready to disappear. “And if you’ve lied to me, I’ll make sure everyone knows what you tried to do.”

“Just get out, Sam,” she sobbed. “Get out.”

I pushed through the curtain and practically ran from the ward, just about reaching the car park before I puked.

As I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, a couple walked toward me, the woman nudging the guy as they both looked at me sideways. It didn’t appear to occur to them that I might need help, despite the pile of vomit at my feet.

Coughing and with an acid burn at the back of my throat, I stumbled toward a metal bench where a few smokers were gathered and sank down onto it. My hands were shaking and the adrenalin rushing around my body was making my heart thud an erratic beat.

“Fuck,” I whispered, dropping my head into my hands. “What the hell have I done?”

The thought of Maisie’s devastated face when I’d accused her of lying about the baby being mine, was torture. This was supposed to be one of the best days of her life and I’d ruined it for her because I was selfish and fucking scared; but I was preserving my own heart too.

“You alright?”

I looked up to see a security guard looking down at me, a nurse standing at his side.

“Sorry?”