Page 46 of Samuel

I looked at her and shrugged. “I wasn’t sure I would. I don’t even know whether I’ve done the right thing even now.”

Maisie watched me carefully and must have seen something in my face because she shook her head and sighed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have. I know it doesn’t mean anything, but if you haven’t changed your mind, it seems pretty pointless.”

“No,” I said, my eyes wide with shock. “I haven’t. I just needed to see.”

“To see what,” she replied before looking back down at the baby. “It’s a baby that you don’t want anything to do with, so what’s to see.”

I didn’t answer, but continued to stare at her.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you come in,” she muttered, pulling the baby’s blanket closer around him. “But when the nurse said you were here, I just thought…”

She trailed off and I noticed her chin tremble.

“Don’t think anything, Maisie. I just wanted to check you were okay and see him.”

“Frankie,” she said around an empty laugh. “You wanted to see Frankie.”

I didn’t respond, because I didn’t want to say his name. If I said his name, it meant he had a name which meant he was real and I really didn’t want to think of the fact that I was a dad. Shit, I might not be. I’d been here before, it wasn’t my first time around and look how that ended up.

“Do you want to hold him?” Maisie asked tentatively.

I shook my head. “Nope.”

“Okay, but you could at least look at him.”

“Maisie, don’t,” I groaned out.

“Why the hell have you come here then?”

She dropped her head back against the mountain of pillows behind her and closed her eyes. The baby roused slightly and opened its eyes and I’ll swear it looked right at me, blue eyes boring into me and judging me.

“He has blue eyes,” I said, gripping at my hair.

“And?” Maisie’s curious gaze went back to the baby. “All babies have blue eyes.”

“We both have brown eyes. Why does he have blue eyes?”

My pulse started to quicken as I stared at Maisie, demanding answers. This couldn’t be happening. No way should he have blue eyes if we both had brown.

“Sam, what’s wrong?” Maisie asked as I started to breathe heavily. “Are you okay?”

“Why the fuck does he have blue eyes?” I snapped. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I’ve told you, most babies are born with blue eyes.”

“I’m a quarter Greek, so why the fuck doesn’t he have brown eyes?” I spat out, pointing a finger at Maisie

“Stop it,” she cried, the noise disturbing the baby again. “You’re being stupid.”

“No, no I’m not. I’d be stupid to think that its mine.”

“He’s not an ‘it’. He’s your bloody son.”

Tears slowly crawled down Maisie’s cheeks and her arms were trembling as she pulled the baby closer to her. I didn’t care though, all that mattered to me was that I wasn’t made a fucking fool of again.

“I don’t know that though, do I?” I snapped. “He could be anyone’s. We were careful and then after one night you tell me I’m the father.”