Page 37 of Samuel

Amy’s eyes went as wide as saucers, her mouth opening into the perfect ‘o’, as I realised it hadn’t taken much for me to spill my shit.

“Oh my god,” she eventually gasped. “How did that happen?”

I shrugged, not sure what to tell her, unsure whether Maisie would want her to know. Amy pulled her legs up onto the sofa and edged her body closer, her face full of expectant excitement.

“Tell me, Samuel, because last time we spoke she’d given you shit for being his swimming teacher, so what the hell happened to make her want to spend a whole day with you?”

“And night.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I winced.

“Fuck.”

“Night! God, Sam.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” I exclaimed, pointing a finger at her.

“So what is it then?” Amy moved even closer. “Because it sounds like exactly what I’m thinking.”

I sighed and ran a hand down my face. She wasn’t going to let it drop, so I spent the next few minutes telling her about Maisie, Frankie, and Josh.

“What a bastard,” Amy hissed when I finished. “And the police just said they’d keep an eye out?”

“Yep.”

“And how do you feel about that?” she asked. “Him being a threat to your son.”

“I don’t-.”

I didn’t finish my sentence because of the gasp that sounded from the doorway, pulling my gaze to it.

“Your son?” My mum drew in a breath and placed a shaking hand against her chest. “Samuel?”

“Shit.” Amy closed her eyes, without turning her head. “Please tell me your mum isn’t here.”

“Nope, she’s here.”

I got up from the sofa and walked toward my mum, her face devoid of any colour. Her eyes were sparkling with tears and her chest was heaving.

“Mum,” I said, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I have a grandson,” she whimpered against my chest. “You have a son.”

Guilt stabbed at my chest, knowing I’d kept something so precious from her for so long. My mum was a woman who always had a cause to fight for, someone who wouldn’t take shit from anyone. I’d seen her argue with executive directors of fuel companies and go toe to toe with hardened politicians, yet put Bella in her arms and she turned to mush, smothering her granddaughter with kisses and enveloping her with love, and I knew she’d be exactly the same with Frankie given the chance; but I’d taken that opportunity away from her.

“It’s complicated, Mum,” I said, taking a step back from her.

“How complicated?” she asked. “Tell me.”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t what I wanted. I was honest with her from the start and we agreed that no one would know.”

“Why? Surely the poor child deserved to know his family?” Mum wrapped her arms around her waist and strangled out a sob.

“Yvetta,” Amy said softly. “Come and sit down.”

She led Mum to a chair, guiding her down onto it.

“Maybe he does deserve a family,” I continued, watching my mum intently. “But he doesn’t deserve a father who really doesn’t want the job.”