Page 99 of Ruptured

“Only motherfucker ever doubtin’ that is that motherfucker. I know you love him. We all know how you feel about him.”

“Why doesn’t he? Why…he’s irrationally jealous.”

“He can’t get the fuckin’ concept that a man and a woman can have a friendship and don’t want to fuck.”

She flushed. “Not anymore,” she said sadly. “I guess that didn’t help the situation.”

“Fuck him.Iain’t ever wanna fuckyou. Didn’t then. Don’t now. Always thought you was one of the most stunnin’ bitches around. Even when you was a psycho cunt, you was a fuckin’ beauty. But ain’t a woman alive can replace Megan.For me. I look at her and I see paradise. So fuckin’ gorgeous my breath catch. No other girl compare then, now, or ever.”

Fingering the edge of her glass, Kendall glanced away. “It used to piss me off so fucking much that you and Johnnie put Meggie above me, while still babying her and saying she was too fragile to fight her own battles or make her own decisions.”

“In hindsight, I understand a lil’ better how you felt. She wasn’t even fuckin’ legal to drink, so she ain’t had your life experiences, education, or knowledge.”

She studied him, then burst into peals of laughter. “You are so full of shit, motherfucker. Meggie told you that somewhere along the way.”

Christopher laughed. “She did. A few weeks ago. Months…” Blowing out a harsh breath, he scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck, I don’t fuckin’ know. She said it at some fuckin’ point.”

“Doyouhonestly agree or are you just appeasing her?”

He smirked at her and poured another drink for them. “We agreed to disagree. No matter what you two think, shemywife, so she was above every other bitch here. Even you. It wasn’t my fuckin’ place to consider how you felt or what the fuck you liked and accepted. That was only Johnnie. Still the fuck is.”

“Sometimes, some places, someclubs, have a hierarchy based on age.”

“Don’t give a fuck. That ain’t us. Besides, we met her before we met you. She wasn’t older, but we knew her longer.”

“I’m never winning this argument with you, am I?”

“Nope. I concedesomeof your behavior was justified. Johnnie and Megan had asituation. I hated lookin’ at his fuckin’face, knowin’ that. I can only imagine how the fuck you felt, watchin’ that stupid fuckhead fawn over my fuckin’ wife.”

He should’ve fucking killed him then to save a lot of heartache now. Stupidity like Johnnie suffered from only worsened with age.

“I was insanely jealous. And I just wanted to matter. All I ever heard was how perfect Meggie was and how I should be like her. She’d never get jealous if the situation was reversed.”

“If Johnnie put that in your head, he a lyin’ motherfucker. Megan was jealous of you, Kendall. There was other shit goin’ on when you first met such as that lil’ motherfucker tellin’ Megan about Big Joe’s empty grave. But she was still jealous of you.”

Kendall’s eyes widened. “She told you that?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged, tasted more tequila. “Sometimes, it was plain as fuckin’ day, but do it matter? That’smywoman. I’m supposed to fuckin’ know her. Just like I know…knew…Johnnie. He was my cousin, my brother, my vice president. Don’t think that motherfucker ain’t got off on havin’ you and Megan always at each other’s throats cuz of him.”

“It wasn’t as if it was an actual competition,” Kendall said morosely. “Meggie loves you.”

“Wasn’t a competition in the way you mean, but as long as Megan engaged, she cared. In your man mind, it was more about him than you two. She wanted him happy, yeah, but she wanted you happy, too.”

He stared into his glass and swirled the contents, seeing nothing but Rebel in Megan’s lap, Axel in tears, and Rule lost in insanity.

“Ever wondered what you and I would’ve been like as a couple?”

Christopher polished off his drink, then set the glass down before considering her question and sniggering. “Fuckin’ brutal.Deadly.You woulda been orderin’ motherfuckers’ deaths everyfuckin’ day. Look at you wrong? Shoot them. Talk to you wrong? Torture them and shoot them. Don’t talk to you? Cut their fuckin’ tongues out since the motherfuckers were useless and let them bleed to death.”

“Nuh-uh!” She laughed merrily, her eyes bright. “If they would’ve bled to death, they couldn’t have suffered life without a tongue.”

Shaking his head, he laughed and looked at his watch. He’d have to get back to the hospital soon. “Why you not home?”

Just like that, Kendall’s humor fled. “I’m avoiding Johnnie. Why aren’t you at the hospital?”

He was avoiding Megan. He shrugged.

“I see.” She sniffed. “Your small little man brain is as fucked up as ever.”