Page 21 of Ruptured

He didn’t know what that meant. “I wish you would’ve been there.”

“I’m glad I wasn’t. Nyx has had her moment in the spotlight. Now, it’s time for her to come back down to earth.”

Remembering Nyx’s reaction to Ransom’s arrival, CJ doubted Nyx would so easily fall back into the shadows, but Mom’s pale skin and red-rimmed eyes kept him silent. She still needed rest and recovery.

“Enjoying adults only club parties requires an adjustment,” Mom said. “Anything goes.”

“Including sex in front of a bunch of people. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that.”

Mom remained silent, and CJ shifted uncomfortably. He searched for another topic.

“About Diesel and Rebel,” he blurted, wishing he could’ve found a smoother transition, but his thoughts were all over the place, floundering for a reprieve from all the fear and uncertainty.

“I beg your pardon?”

CJ shoved his hands into his pockets. “That came out wrong. I meant about them in the future.”

“There will be no them in the future. I’ll see Diesel castrated, drawn, and quartered first.”

“Goddamn, Mom,” CJ said, unable to stop his laughter. “You’re going all Medieval on a motherfucker.”

“Degenerates require Medieval torture.”

That killed his laughter. “I know Diesel and Rebel together is gross. Kissing cousin vibes. But they aren’t truly related and-and…” He swallowed to keep the images, and the pain, at bay. He grieved for the closeness of his family from just a year ago. He couldn’t believe a mere thirteen months separated his father’s 49thbirthday where CJ danced with Mom and his aunts and life was still good. “We almost lost her.” He lowered his gaze, freeing his hands from his pockets, then stuffing them back in again. “When Rebel turns twenty-one and she still wants Diesel, I think you and I should find a way to convince Dad they belong together.”

Mom studied CJ. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Not once since you’ve been here.” He shifted again, swallowed, still on the verge of tears. Or kicking and screaming, and losing his fucking mind. “I talked to Diesel a few days ago,” he admitted, then stressed, “before.” Recently, he’d begun to look at life before and after his overdose. Prior to that, it was before and after Molly’s disappearance, revised from before and after Mom’s collapse. Now, it would be modified to before and after Rule’s breakdown. “I told him I would support them in six years. But I don’t know what to say or how to feel. I don’t know if I should talk to you about the party or keep it to myself. I don’t know if I should be angry with Rule or stand by him because he’s ill and I failed him.”

“Oh, my darling boy, you didn’t fail him. It wasn’t your responsibility to see to his mental health. That was my job.”

“You were in the hospital when he got really bad off, then you needed to recover and Jo got so sick.”

“It still wasn’t your job, CJ. Raising your brothers and sister is my responsibility.”

“And Dad’s. But we’re a family. As the eldest son, I’m supposed to help out.”

Mom smiled at him. “I’m not taking that away from you, but the overall duty falls to me. Christopher has his club to run and I distracted him.”

“C’mon, Mom. Dad distracts you, too. When he sticks close to home, he likes to be in your company. You don’t have eyes and ears in the back of your head.”

“CJ—”

“No, Mom. It’s fine, and while we’re on the subject of you and Dad, if you want another baby, that’s fine, too. Whatever makes you happy.” He looked at the floor again. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if Rule had…had…”

The mechanical sound of the bed moving drew CJ’s attention and he lifted his gaze. Mom held out her arms, and CJ didn’t hesitate to go to her, sit on the edge of the bed, and hug her carefully, heedful of her many injuries.

“I’m fine, CJ,” she whispered, returning his hug with a fierce one of her own, even with her wrapped hand and wrist, and various bandages. “I survived. Rebel survived. The nurse said she had a few cuts and scrapes but was otherwise unscathed.

I did ask why I needed sedation,” she said, releasing him and settling back against the bed. “Some sedatives raise blood pressure and mine was already high.”

“I didn’t think of that,” he admitted. “I guess Dad didn’t either.”

“I’m sure the doctor had his reasons,” Mom said. “As for Diesel and Rebel, I won’t make any promises. I hate the idea of them together because he watched her grow up and that’s disgusting.”

“Mom—”

“Butyou’re right, son. I want Rebel happy. Diesel has to do a lot of changing to get me fully onboard with your idea.”