Page 43 of Ruptured

“Would Mortician and Digger and their sons come?” Ryan blurted.

“Uncle Mort, Uncle Digger, and your cousins, you mean?” Pops gritted.

“I don’t see them as—”

“They are,” Pops said flatly. “Listen up, boy. I don’t know what the fuck’s been indoctrinated into you, but Puff and me consider them family. You on some Logan bullshit?” He glanced down the hall, where, at some point, the sobs had subsided. Either Harley had left the living room, she’d run out of tears, or she was asleep. “Why the fuck you trying to get close to Harley?”

“Does it fucking matter?” Ryan snapped, all his goodwill and progress evaporating with the weight of his secrets, lies, and deception.

“Yeah, motherfucker, it matters,” Pops said furiously. “She’s the daughter of one of my good friends. No matter how she fucking acting, she don’t deserve the added fuckery of you trying to get with her because of CJ.”

The stress of the past few days finally made Ryan break. It had nothing to do with Eliza, Nyx, Willard, or Bash. It was all Rebel. He’d been so fucking scared she’d die. It made no sense that just a few months ago he’d seen her, CJ, and everyone else as his enemy. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the past weeks: her excitement during her date with Kaia, her smart mouth that she unleashed without hesitation, her private moments, her laughter and liveliness, and the grudge Willard held because she’d kicked his ass.

Ryan had never particularly considered Rebel or Mattie. They’d just been girls in his family, but he was proud they were his cousins. He enjoyed their company and his banter with them. But he was so exhausted, and the adrenaline that helped him through the Eliza situation, then Nyx’s party, and everything that followed, crashed.

“Why, old man?” he snarled, reverting back to assholery because it was easiest. “That motherfucker gets everything. He didn’t have to get Harley, too. He took my girlfriend. Why shouldn’t I have stolen his?”

Logan Donovan would expect Ryan to stand up for himself. Be accountable and own up to his mistakes. Great men didn’t take shit and they didn’t hide their dirty deeds.

Great men didn’tcommitdirty deeds. They were good and upstanding. Ryan wondered what Logan would think of him. Would his great-grandfather see all that he knew and hid from the Dwellers as a betrayal? Would he appreciate Ryan’s loyalty to Bash? And would he understand Ryan’s wavering? His dawning realization that betraying the Dwellers also betrayed his family? Even if Logan understood everything else, he would see Ryan sleeping with Harleyasa grave offense.

“I don’t really want Harley.” He spat that blatant lie, confused and upset.

Pops rubbed his eyes, while Devon just looked uncomfortable.

“Son, you’re not that vindictive little motherfucker you were weeks ago,” Pops said quietly, his anger falling away as quickly as it came. “You’re a good kid, who knows playing with a girl’s feelings to get back at someone else, not the right thing to do. It leads to fucking disaster.” He laid a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “Your mama and me especially didn’t raise you to look down on other people. Mort, Digger, Roxanne, their families? Areourfamily, too. You better than the bullshit the Bart brothers made you believe, boy. My Ryan’s in there somewhere. Find him before shit gets so fucked up we can’t undo it.”

Ryan stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Did you ever really consider meyourRyan, Pops? All I ever heard was do this like CJ. Learn this because of CJ. Act like CJ. Sit with CJ. You even told it to Devon, whenwe’resiblings. You wanted him to look up to CJ and not me. I never felt good enough. Not even to be a big brother.”

Pops gripped both of Ryan’s shoulders. “I’m sorry about that. That wasn’t right of me. I’ve always loved you and your brother. You two shot out of my cock.”

Ryan frowned.

“You and Dev are mine,” Pops said fiercely, ignoring Ryan’s look or not seeing it. “In my eyes, nothing and no one compares to my sons. I wanted to position you to be close to CJ. I just went about it the wrong way. The only fucking certainty is that one day a Caldwell boy will head the club. More than likely, it’ll be CJ. He has a bunch of motherfuckers to choose from to be in his inner circle. I wanted you and Devon included as his cousins. I know he won’t, hecan’t, choose both of you, but if you were in, Devon would be, too. CJ would look out for you and you’d look out for Dev. We’re a big club, with a far reach. However, that can’t compare to the reach you have as an officer.”

“Suppose I don’t want to join the fucking club, Pops?” Ryan asked at the same time Devon said, “If Ryan doesn’t want that assignment, I’ll take it.”

Dropping his hands, Pops stepped back and searched Ryan’s face, his shoulders sagging. He nodded. “Then don’t join it,” he said, his disappointment hard to miss. “I won’t love you any less.”

“I-I m-mean I-I think I do,” Ryan admitted, flushing in embarrassment, wondering why his father’s disappointment mattered to him. He only knew he didn’t like it. “I-I m-mean CJ…CJ isn’t as bad as I’d built him up in my mind to be.”

“Then come correctly, son,” Pops said quietly, searching Ryan’s face, his eyes grave and knowing. “Confess to whatever you’ve done. Tell Outlaw what you know. Traitors are killed, but if you throw yourself on his mercy and be honest…”

Pops allowed a bit of silence, but Ryan couldn’t bring himself to follow the advice. He’d risk Molly, and Outlaw might still kill him.

“Remember this, Ryan. If I find out you’ve fucked over the club after I’ve asked you to confess,Iwill beat the fuck out of you. Got me?”

“Yeah, Dad, uh,Pops.”

Without another word, Pops turned and left. The scent of outside briefly blew in during the short amount of time he opened and closed the door.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Devon rocked on his heels. “Dad’s right, Ry. You need to tell Uncle Christopher about Aunt Meggie.”

Ryan snapped his brows together, then narrowed his eyes, ready to deny the unspoken accusation. Until he remembered that day at the lean-to near Turn Creek when his brother came with some of the Caldwell boys, Rory, Lou, and Mark JB.

Devon had overheard Ryan’s conversation with Willard. How much was never said. But their arrival helped Ryan.

“What…what do you know?”