Page 265 of Ruptured

“Except it’s unfair to pull the rug from under you at this late date.”

“But?”

“But my son is fiercely protective of me. He’s fiercely loyal to his Uncle Mort.ThatCJ would’ve been as angry as his sister. He would’ve had thoughts and opinions.”

CJhadmerely watched the goings-on like an unwilling narrator in a crime novel. His brain processed the events; his thoughts shut down. As much as he tried to completely reenter life, he couldn’t re-engage.

“It’s okay to be angry. It isn’t okay to be reticent,” Mom scolded.

“I fought Dad today.”

“Ahh, that explains it.” Mom indicated his bruised face with a sweep of her hand. “Soooo…? When you sayfought, I assume you threw the first punch?”

“Yeah, Mom?”

“You aren’t too injured, so he went easy on you.”

He couldn’t detect her mood, so he shrugged and glanced away.

“Did you fight your father or your club president?”

“Does it matter? I still lost.”

“As you should have,” Mom said evenly. “If Christopher was abusive, I would cheer you. He isn’t. He’s a good father and a good man. Does he make you angry? I’m sure he does. I love him with all my heart and he infuriates me. If you lashed out at Outlaw, then you’re just as wrong. That can get youseverelypunished. You know the club rules.”

“What do you want me to say, Mom?” CJ demanded. Unlike her talk in the kitchen, she sounded angry. He already knew he couldn’t get himself together. She didn’t have to make him feel like shit and harp on that point. “Dad fought Big Joe.”

“AreyouChristopher?”

“Of course not! Which you already told me, so why do you keep asking? Or pointing that out. I’m not Dad. I get it!”

“Now, you’re turning into Johnnie.”

CJ’s mouth fell open. Of all the motherfuckers to compare him to, it offended him she chose the worst of the fucking lot. What a grave fucking insult!

“The only person who has the problem with Johnnie not being Christopher is Johnnie. When I tell him I chose Christopher becausehewasn’t Christopher, he took that meaning literally. Even after I qualified it was because I was already in love with your daddy. He’s an idiot and you’re turning into one as well. You aren’t Christopher, CJ. Deal with it.”

“Everyone else wants me to be Dad.”

“Fuckeveryone else, son!” Mom yelled, her face reddening. “Tell you what. You want to be like Christopher? Stop caring what everyone else thinks, do what needs to be done, and you will be him to the ‘T’.”

CJ gave his mother a sullen glare. Folding her arms, she glowered at him.

“I think you need to see a counselor,” she finally announced.

“What? No! If the brothers ever found out, they’d think I was nothing but a weakling. I can’t be a club president in therapy.”

“Tony Soprano had a psychiatrist.”

CJ squinted. “Uh, the character from the TV show?”

“I had to spend my time some way over the course of my many pregnancies.”

“But that’s fiction. Family man by night and mob boss by day.”

“Mob boss whenever the need called for it, but family man all the time. He just set it aside when his job required.”

“You’re calling what he did a job?” CJ asked with a grin. “And I maintain that’s fiction. Not real life.”