Page 51 of Ruptured

“Why?” Axel wailed. “He don’t even feel like my brother no more. I rarely see him. M-m-mom is always trying to die.”

Pain hit CJ in the center of his chest. As much as he wanted to dispute Axel’s words, he couldn’t. Not about Mom trying to die. CJ knew that wasn’t true. About Gunner. Over the past few weeks, the kid was hardly ever home.

“Gunner probably misses us, Ax.”

“If I don’t know him andhe’sa bitch-ass baby, then he don’t know me.”

Shaking his head, CJ laughed. “Just because you all found out I said that when I was a little kid, you don’t have to use that term.”

“But it’s cool,” Axel said in a watery voice. “You don’t want me to be like you?”

Axel sounded hurt, which alarmed CJ. He didn’t mean to make his little brother feel bad. Besides, hadn’t he just feltsomethingover Axel’s preference for Diesel? What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Of course I do! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

“I want Diesel.” Axel’s little shoulders shook. “And Mom.”

CJ thumbed away Axel’s tears. “We won’t be long. You’ll see Diesel soon. I’m sure Dad’s almost ready to go back to the hospital.”

Ifhewasn’t, CJ was. Then again, now that Mom was in Rebel’s room, he wasn’t sure where he’d sleep if Dad wanted to be in the room with them. It would be hard leaving Mom after he’d kept vigil for almost three days. CJ just wanted to get to the hospital, say hi to his sister, and find out the new arrangements, so he could try to calm down and forget Rule’s sobs and screams. CJ’s anger at Rule’s actions hadn’t disappeared, but the cold fury he’d felt towards his little brother had lessened.

“Why couldn’t Mom talk to Winnie? Me and you haven’t even seen Rebel,” Axel complained, sounding more like himself.

CJ grabbed Axel’s hand, and started off again. It was still cold, though less frosty than it had been just a few short weeks ago. The forest was silent, though, except for the distant sound of animals and the rustling of leaves. “Mom isn’t there.”

“Is Uncle Cash there?”

“I guess,” CJ said, noncommittal. He hadn’t gotten over his uncle aligning with Uncle Johnnie in front of a shitload of out-of-town members. “Why? You need to see him?”

“I don’t got nothing to say to that shiesty motherfucker. He’s against Dad, so I’m against him.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” CJ said irritably. “And even if I did, you don’t have shit to say to him. That’s between him and Dad.”

“You’re a lying motherfucker cuz you were there. It was the day Dad shot Uncle Johnnie. I’m Dad’s son, nothis. Any motherfucker got a problem with Mom, Dad, or my other family, then I got a problem with that motherfucker.”

Annoyed, CJ jerked Axel to a stop. “Behave, Ax,” he warned. “I mean it. We’re going there to help Winnie, not to engage with Uncle Cash. Understand?”

“I want Mom,” Axel reiterated.

Spring would soon be upon them, a time of rebirth after such a long, dark winter. “I do, too, but since she isn’t ready to come home, we have to intervene.”

“Like mediate?”

“You know that word…? Never mind.” Axel would go on a tangent about the law that CJ was in no mood to hear. “Uh, yeah, big head.”

“Cuz Dad’s mad at Mom cuz of Rule or cuz Mom’s mad at Dad cuz of Nyx?”

CJ had thought it was his imagination or a figment of his fatigue. “Why would Mom be angry about Nyx?” he asked, not touching on Dad’s anger.

“Cuz Dad shot her in front of Ran.”

CJ stopped so suddenly, Axel stumbled. “The hell you say! Who told you that?”

“Ran. He’s barely sleeping or don’t hardly want to eat nothing, so we asked him why and he told me, Ryder, and Diesel. So which is it? Cuz I hope it’s Mom mad at him.”

“I don’t want either one of them mad at the other, Ax.”

“Well, ifhe’smad at her, it’s usually cuz that motherfucker lost his mind andsheends up mad at himandus.”