Page 5

“Mmm–”

“Hueles divina, carino.”

My hands formed minds of their own. They snaked up Matías’ slim frame slowly. My right was the first to reach its destination. Matías’ bulge threatened to split the fabric of his shorts. The thickness was comforting. The length was appalling.

My attraction to him became increasingly clear. He was part of the percentage of Colombians who were of Black descent. His medium skin tone, perfectly sizeable nose, and full lips were giveaways but the weapon between his legs was confirmation.

There was nothing more arousing than a Black man’s nutsack massaging my center as he plummeted in my ocean. The thought of it forced my eyes shut. Matías was as gentle as he was firm. His masculinity summoned my most feminine attributes. But, still, I remained in control.

“Undress,” I instructed, forcing myself from his grasp.

My back met the sheets of the bed. I spread my legs, inviting him into my garden. I watched him disrobe and fall to his knees before me. Right where I wanted him. Right where I needed him.

The sun rose.

It fell.

It rose again.

And, fell again.

Yet, I was no closer to leaving than I was when I arrived. My mission had yet to see completion. And, my pussy had yet to tap out. The sex was explosive. The quietness was addictive. My time hadn’t come, but I’d leave well-fucked and well-compensated whenever it did.

Matías’ chiseled chest rose and fell with desperation as he peered down on my orgasm-stricken frame. I contracted, completely lost in oblivion. A smile covered his handsome face as he leaned over and grabbed the silver platter from his nightstand. In a straight line, he poured the pure cocaine onto my stomach.

A tightly rolled hundred dollar bill pushed up his nostril disappeared along with his face. All that was visible was his thick, now oily head of hair.

Snnnnnnnnnnnnh .

He shook his head from side to side as the effects of the drug liberated him mentally, emotionally, and physically.

“Ummmm.”

His addiction was off-putting, but everyone had their vices. A way to cope. A way to escape. Cocaine was his.

“Have some?” He offered, shoving the hundred dollar bill toward me.

“Matías,” I began, meeting his orbs so he understood my seriousness. “Don’t insult me. Ever again. There won’t be a man in this house who can make it to you fast enough.”

As he raised his hands to surrender, his phone vibrated.

“Lo siento mami, por favor perdóname.”

His sincere apology allowed me to forgive his lapse in judgment swiftly. However, the incoming FaceTime call influenced my decision heavily.

7:00p.

Thursday.

Every Thursday .

As my adrenaline peaked, Matías grabbed his cell. Without hesitation, he slid his hand across the screen to connect the call. Simultaneously, his face disappeared. I was met with his dark hair and protruding ears on each side of his head.

“Hola, Chino.”

Hearing his name roll off Matías’ tongue felt like much of a stroke to my clit. I rotated my hips, pushing his head further south. His lips kissed my second set before he took my swollen nub into his mouth. I shuddered, still sensitive from the orgasm I’d experienced minutes prior.

I was quickly reminded of my assigned task. The condom on the nightstand was supposed to be around Matías’ dick, but we hadn’t made it past his feasting stage. Both my pussy and the pure cocaine he stuffed his nose with had him on cloud nine.

“Matías. What’s good?”

Chino’s voice boomed through the speaker, but Matías couldn’t respond. He was face deep in my center, sucking the cream from my insides.

“Hello?”

I gripped his slippery mane, allowing him to breathe long enough to respond.

“Yes, Chino.”

“You good man? You need me to call you back.”

I shook my head, forcing him to hold the line.

“Everything is good, Chino. Everything is good.”

“With the shipment?”

Matías groaned, “Oh Chino. I have had my hands tied. The shipment has been rescheduled. I–”

“Matías. Since when has a shipment been delayed? In the history of our relationship? Man, you sure you good? Do I need to come see you? Everything alright?”

“No. No. There’s no need. You will have the dope. Two days. Give me two more days–”

“To do what?”

For the first time since learning about their relationship, Matías was more lenient. Less agitated. Calmer . His demeanor was baffling to Chino. I could hear it in his voice.

“Who Chino,” he corrected. “To do who?”

“I’m not following you right now.”

“You send me a gift and expect me not to enjoy it. Ahhh. It’s way too good. Much better than the shit I stuff up my nose. I never thought I’d find a drug more powerful than my coke. It’s pure, Chino. Grade A. Best in business. But, this is better. She is better.”

“Who?”

From his tone, I knew the wheels had began turning in Chino’s head.

“Who the fuck you talking about, Matías?”

His head disappeared between my legs, again, forcing my eyes closed just as he turned the phone around.

“Uhhhhh.”

Matías was gifted. He was a man of great skill. He rotated his tongue against my clit while sucking it like a pacifier created to soothe his discomfort.

“ROULETTE!” Chino called out.

With lust dripping from my orbs, I opened my eyes to find him staring into the camera. His handsome features contorted. His eyes had grown three times their size. Everything that once made him desirable made him ugly. My stomach turned, but the man planted between my legs flipped it back over.

“Matías must cal– uhhhh– you back, Chino.”

My spine curved. My fingertips curled. My breathing changed. So did my train of thought. I was mounting again.

“Roulette!” he yelled.

“Ummm– yesssss.”

I lifted a finger, pressing the arrows on the screen to turn the camera. Now, we were both watching as Matías cleaned his plate.

“Yo, what the fuck you on, Roulette?”

I tightened my grip on Matías’ hair and began grinding my hips into his shoulders.

“Yesss– just like tha– uhhh.”

The heat of the moment intensified my orgasm’s urgency. When the first wave slammed against my center, I jolted. My legs began quivering.

“Don’t stop. Just like thaaaaat,” I instructed. “Matíasssss.”

His fingers pushed into me from below.

“Qué jodidamente bueno, mami.”

The camera fell from his left hand onto my stomach. Chino’s unraveling magnified my sensitivity. I began to tingle all over. My ass bounced on the bed as the second wave ended me.

Stars.

Moon.

Planets.

Sun.

The entire stratosphere appeared behind my lids.

I came. And, I came hard.

“Urhhhhhhhh. Fuck. Yes. Uhhhh.”

The line died and so did my pussy. But just like any other feline, it had nine lives. As the condom caressed Matías’ circumference, it was gifted a second life. I opened for him, accepting his thickness with gratitude.

Years in St. Catana had deprived me of constant pleasure administered by masculinity, a sizable tool, and carefully calculated strokes. The three days I’d spent wrapped in Matías’ sheets had made up for every day spent on the island. However, I had business to tend to and an empire to rebuild.

Colombia was the perfect bandage for the pain, but this was chess. Not checkers. The Queen was in pursuit of more than temporary pleasure with a notorious drug lord. She was prepared to clear the entire board. There were more pawns to conquer before she settled with her reign.

Exhaustion hacked away at my energy, nearly paralyzing me to the bone. I avoided the four-car garage where the coupe was waiting for my arrival. Instead, I parked in the driveway and exited, leaving my weekender in the backseat. I hadn’t touched a piece of clothing inside.

My body was free of threads seventy-five percent of my stay in Colombia. The other twenty-five percent was filled with new pieces, new tags, and Matías’ sheets. My lids sealed involuntarily as I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth at the thought of the things that went on in Matías’ mansion.

If those walls could talk.

“Mm.” A low moan escaped me.

“You foul as fuck, Roulette!” Chino’s voice travelled through the darkness, putting an end to my sweet memories.

Ugh. Niggas . A roll of my eyes and the contorting of my face displayed my annoyance.

There was a time when his voice brought me peace. Contentment. Happiness . For my sanity and his, I remained quiet and closed the door. I began the journey toward my front door.

“Roulette. I’m talking to you.”

Chino was no longer across the lawn. He was near. I could smell him. I could feel him. I could hear his footsteps drawing closer.

“I’m in no mood, Chino. And, how do you even know where the fuck I live?”

I paused, giving him a chance to explain, because obviously we’d done a piss poor job at choosing a home.

“I’ve spent the last five days searching.”

“Hm, I guess my brother didn’t hide me well enough.”

“He did. I’m six years into this shit with you, Roulette. I know what you like. I know what you can’t live without. So, those things narrowed my search.”

“Hmm– There’s the Chino I know. The smart one. I’m not sure who the nigga is that’s been running around Clarke in my absence, but I want him off my property and out of my fucking life.”

“Roulet– Listen, I did you one and you did me one dirtier. You fucked my plug, delayed my shipment, and fucked up my money. Isn’t that enough?”

I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders. I gave him my undivided attention as I folded my arms, wondering if he was serious.

“Didn’t you say you knew me? You know what I like and what I can’t live without?”

“You kno–”

“Then you know it will never be enough, Chino. Fucking Matías had everything to do with my desires, and very little to do with your pain. Although, it was a major factor. His money is long. His dick is good–”

Chino’s eyes widened as his eyebrows lifted on his forehead. A hand went to his chest as he tilted his head, trying to digest the words coming from my lips.

“And, his status makes him untouchable. I was in need of a vacation after walking in on my man fucking my club’s manager. Hadn’t I been one to follow the rules, Matías would’ve been fucked the first night you introduced us.

“I did you a favor by keeping my legs closed. You didn’t show me the same courtesy so here we are. A week is nothing in comparison to a lifetime of pain should I accept you and your oops baby. Your dick isn’t hitting like that, Chino.”

He was speechless, staring at me through slits. I turned to leave, completely and utterly disgusted with his presence.

“Whatever you want, Roulette. Matías can be water under the bridge. Just– hear me out. I’m begging you. This is me.”

“Which makes this shit even harder to believe, but I have never put nothing past a nigga. Not even mine. And, please understand that I am not asking for permission or a pass to fuck who I please at this point, Chino.

“I am a very grown, very single woman who will do who she wants, when she wants, how she wants, and for whatever reason she wants. Your audacity is disgusting. So is your presence.”

“You talking about leaving a nigga. What you expect me to do? Sit back and watch you walk away?”

“I suggest you close your eyes, then, because I’m as good as gone.”

“Roulette… we have too much fucking history, baby. This me you talking to. Ain’t shit in this world I wouldn’t do for you, Roulette. Nothing.”

“Except follow the rules–”

“I– I fucked up. I fucked up. I can have her get rid of the baby. If I have her get–”

I tittered. Niggas belong in the deepest pit of hell. Burning. Twenty-four hours a day.

“You sound pathetic. You think I’d advise you to have a woman terminate her pregnancy to save a relationship that is dead? Look at me. Look at me, Chino.

“Do I look like that type of motherfucker? Don’t insult me like that. It’s offensive. And, it insinuates I’m a weak-minded, dependent bitch that can’t live without a busted balls ass man. I’m not that pressed to have or keep a nigga. I never will be.

“I am pressure, in every sense of the word. Act like you know me for real before you piss me the fuck off out here. Just like I got you, I can get a hundred more niggas. It’s not a fucking problem, Chino. You are.

“The child has absolutely nothing to do with how foul their parents are. That’s all on you. And– If we’re being honest, Kiara owes me nothing. It was business. All business. Never personal.

“But, you– you drunk dick, big veneer wearing, asshole licking, lab-grown diamond flossing, botched circumcision having, bad bladder toting, excessive slobbering, constipated piece of shit, you owed me your loyalty and couldn’t give it to me. Even after I gave you everything a nigga could ask for.

“The truth is, it doesn’t matter how unconventional our union was, you wanted more. Greed is a characteristic of nearly the entire male species. You’re on brand, Chino.”

“Roul–”

“Rule number one, stay away from people I know, trust, and love. Rule number two, don’t fuck with anyone who could fuck with my money. Rule number three, absolutely no children ,” I emphasized, adding a finger with each number I called out.

“I–”

I cut him off, “Not one. Not two. But, three. All three rules, Chino. I don’t give a damn how sick you look, there’s nothing you could do or say to make me consider forgiveness. You fumbled enough footballs in school to understand what’s happening here.

“They were the reason your NFL dreams didn’t come to life. Let this be your second lesson to hold the fuck on and carry it home. Cause trust me, another nigga is waiting on a pick-six and you just gave it to him.”

“I don’t give a fuck what a nigga waiting on, Roulette. I’m not giving this shit up. I don’t care how long it takes, what I have to do, or what you feel like you need to do. If fucking these niggas make you feel better, then let’s get to it. I’ll be right here when you’re ready to come home. You know where the fuck that’s at.”

“Fuck you, Chino,” I scoffed, heading toward my door.

The conversation was pointless. I was unsure why I had stayed back as long as I had to entertain him. I gained access to my gorgeous home with a turn of my key. The door never touched the threshold.

Chino’s firm frame halted its movement. His hand slammed it behind us as he urged me further inside. I shoved my hand into my purse, ready to send him to the pits much sooner than God had intended.

“Roulette–” he gritted through his teeth as he grabbed ahold of my hand. “There’s no need for the fire. Put that shit down. I’ve done some fucked up shit, but I’m no stranger and I won’t harm you. I can’t. I’m not built like that. Not when it comes to you, at least.

“I just want you to calm down and think about this shit, baby. I know I fucked up. I take full responsibility. And, I’m owed whatever you bring my way. But, when that shit is all done, can you come home? I don’t give a fuck what I have to do… how much I have to pay…

“You’re the love of my life. I can’t fathom not being the nigga for you. I’m sorry. You have to believe me. That shit is over, Roulette. It was never her. It’s always been you. She was just something to do because I didn’t have shit else to do. I’m wrong. I’m dead fucking wrong. I’m sorry.”

He pulled me in, attempting to bury me in his chest. Feeling the weight of everything around me, I allowed myself to breathe. Slowly, I inhaled. And, slowly, I exhaled.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

I pulled back after I’d gathered myself.

“You don’t look sorry to me, Chino.”

“What you mean, Roulette? I’m here– begging and shit. Letting you talk to me however you want out of that reckless ass mouth of yours. What else you want me to do?”

I tilted my head toward the ground.

“I know a sorry ass nigga when I see one and you aren’t that nigga. Make me a fucking believer.”

“HOW?”

“On your knees. Every time I see you, you need to be on your knees. Begging. Pleading. And, proving to me you’ll truly do anything to be back in my good graces.”

His gaze didn’t possess the power to penetrate me anymore. I’d established my boundaries. I’d built the fence around my heart.

I’d programmed my head. There was nothing he could do to gain access to those parts of me anymore. His residency had been revoked.

I stared back at him, unmoved. Another tip of my head toward the floor assured him I was not joking. Every word out of my mouth was truthful.

I watched with pleasure as his body lowered to the ground. His knees pressed into the wooden planks on the floor.

“There.”

“Roulet–”

“You look and sound better already,” I complimented. “Now, what were you saying?”

“It’s whatever you want. Whatever you want, Roulette. Just say the word.”

I toyed with my options. Chino was a man of his word. Until Kiara, he’d never broken a promise or told me he’d do something he wouldn’t. He was a stand up which was one of the main reasons I fell for him.

Because my thoughts were foggy from exhaustion and I couldn’t quite conjure a decent idea or compensation demands, I lifted my skirt and propped my foot on the console table in the entryway.

“You can start here.”

No words were exchanged. Chino closed the gap between us and placed both hands on my asscheeks. He inhaled the pussy that he once had solo access to.

I leaned forward, rubbing it on the tip of his nose. Matías had been scrubbed from my existence, but I was secretly chastising myself for bathing after our parting session.

His right hand fell from my ass. He pushed my thong aside. My pussy was met with the warmth of his tongue.

I was quickly reminded why I was so smitten with him. From the first day we’d met, my pussy had found a home on his top lip. They were a perfect match and not much had changed.

“Uhhhh–”

Chino’s tongue circled my clitoris. I placed a hand on his head, refusing to relinquish the control I had of our situation, his presence, and the moment. He was on borrowed time and he needed to be reminded every second of his visit.

I pressed my pussy into his face, limiting his breathing capabilities. He could pass out and I wouldn’t give a fuck. It would serve him right.

He sucked me into his mouth. My legs buckled, threatening to give out. Everything around me blackened. The solar system became visible behind my eyelids. I was ascending far beyond the earth’s core.

“Mmmmm. Yessss–”

“Have Kiara teach you her ways.”

With a shake of his head, Chino scoffed. “You serious right now, Roulette?”

“When aren’t I?” I questioned, pulling my skirt down. “See yourself out, Chino.”

“We ain’t done tal–”

“See yourself out, Chino. I would hate to have to tell you a third time. Goodnight.”

I didn’t wait for a response. Disdain coated every part of my body, even the part he’d just finished gnawing on. I climbed the stairs with the hem of my skirt in my hand. My heels collided with the stairs each time I took another step, reminding me that I’d taken them much deeper into my home than intended after touching outside surfaces. They needed to be sanitized before they made it back upstairs to join the others.

Sorry, Rhea . I’d broken one of her golden rules.

Never contaminate your home with the ways of the world– it’s filth, it’s greed, it’s danger, or it’s bitterness. Each time you cross the threshold, cleanse yourself, starting with the soles of your shoes .

I slid the mules from my feet when I reached my bathroom. My clothes came off, one piece at a time. And, by the time I made it to the shower, I was free of threads. I altered the position of the knob to determine the water’s pressure and used the digital scale to perfect the temperature.

When the logistics of my shower were handled, I tied the silk scarf around my edges and allowed the rest of it to blanket the length of my bundles. I stepped under the streamy stream of water in my birthday suit. Contentment quickly summoned me. My nerve endings gathered to heal themselves and the apprehension released itself without prejudice.

I rested my lids on top of each other. The weight of everything around me began to rest on my shoulders, again. My return to Clarke didn’t come without its challenges, but I was up for each and every one of them.

Yet and still–

I miss my Teddy.

I missed my Tee Jru.

I miss my Rugs.

I miss my Psalem.

I miss my Rome.

I miss my Rhea.

I miss my Egypt.

I miss baby égée .

My palms pressed against my cheeks. I inhaled deeply and exhaled at the same pace. Slow and steady. When I reopened my eyes, long and hairy legs greeted me. My nostrils flared with aggravation. My body jerked in the opposite direction, facing the menace standing outside of my shower with his dick in his hand and eyes trained on my naked body.

“I’ve made myself clear, Chino. You don’t deserve to dominate spaces we just so happen to share with your height. On your knees,” I commanded.

Instantly, he shrunk. The skin of his knees met the cold floor. Satisfaction still hadn’t reached me.

“Now, leave.”

“Roulette, baby plea–”

“This is not up for debate, Chino. I asked you to leave nicely. The next time it won’t be my lips talking. It will be my pistol. So, unless you already have a trust fund started for your child, I suggest you leave. Or, I’m going to lay you to rest and take everything you’ve worked your entire life for. Please don’t underestimate me. We both know how I carry on.”

“Tell me– I don’t want to lose you. Just tell me what to do. Tell me what I need to do.”

“Leave while you still have breath in your lungs,” I warned a final time before grabbing the cleansing sponge.

I pushed the pump of the body wash twice before rubbing it in with my index and middle fingers. I was quickly reminded of how Matías had used his hands to extract my honey from the pot. My pussy contracted.

“Mm.”

“Roulette–”